As We Go
by wannaBbritish
Summary: REREAD Chp 7! REVISED! A deadly mission makes the Dr put Rose on holiday, but the mission follows him home. Now Rose is at risk and he's forced to face the future. Dr10Rose! My first Who fic! Rating may change. Better summary on my profile.
1. Vacation

As We Go -- Chapter 1: Vacation

Disclaimer: Do you think if I owned Dr. Who I'd be writing a fanfic? No... so quit rubbing it in.

Summary: A dangerous mission pushes the Doctor to convince Rose to take a vacation. How could he ever have guessed how his mission and her vacation would change them and the relationship they had. How will Rose react to the true purpose behind their seperation and will the Doctor have to find a new companion?

A/N: Mainly story for the tenth Doctor but could be read for the 9th. Both may be OC. Please forgive it and keep in mind I've only really seen 4 episodes so be nice:-p Any constructive criticize is welcome however. oh and Wow, three words that consist of no more than two letters each for the title. Took me ten minutes to come up with, let's see exactly how much better the story will be shall we? lol Really this story is going to be much like the series: fun and action packed with a little bizarre-ity on the side. Make no mistakes however this is a doctor/rose fic. Don't read if you don't like.

* * *

Rose yawned and stretched her arm up over her head as she entered the kitchen. Her hair was tousseled and her clothes hung wrong on her form so Jackie knew instantly it'd been another hard night at the Tyler flat. Rose plopped down in a chair next to her mother. Looking pitifully at her she moaned dramatically before allowing her head to crash into the kitchen table. Jackie took a sip of her usual morning coffee without looking at her daughter. She'd enjoyed having Rose around more often, after all it beat the occassional visit every six months. 

"Sleep good?" she asked it for no other reason than to antagonize her daughter. Rose's head popped up instantly and a fierce glare covered her face.

"No!" she sniped. "Haven't slept well since I started this bloomin vacation," she grumbled. "Do you realize that for the last four nights now I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep?" she added shrilly. Jackie went to the counter to fix Rose a cup of tea. "I mean really, it's just what I needed..."

"Well what do you think it is? Are you missing the Doctor that much?" she asked. Rose was stunned her mother would assume that.

"It's not that," Rose shot off immediately. The last thing she wanted was for her mum to believe she and the Doctor were having some sort of lurid affair while she was out traveling the universe. Not that she would really mind too terribly much if they were, but she was the only one who supposed to know that. In fact the only real thing going on between the two of them was an odd ability to expect the other's presence in the face of danger. If she leapt, he would be there to catch her. If he ran, he knew she'd be right behind him alive and breathing. It was quite odd actually, seeing as she'd only been traveling with "this" doctor for a couple of weeks now. He was mostly the same on the inside, keeping just about everything that had drawn her to him in the first place, but now he was... different and she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Then what?" Jackie pressed with mild irritation, shoving her from her thoughts. Her mother was now seated and watching her. Rose lifted her mug of warm tea from the table and sipped.

"I dunno... maybe it's the sound of the Tardis. It is quite loud at night and maybe I've gotten to liking it?" she thought. Jackie shrugged. She couldn't think that the roar of a vortex engine would be comforting but her little girl had taken on some bizarre interests lately.

"Good morning Tylers!" chorused Mickey as he tromped into the room. Rose groaned quietly at his happy attitude so early in the morning. Then again, he probably had a full night's sleep.

"Good mornin, Mickey," Jackie sang right back at him. Rose smiled and accepted a kiss on the forehead, too lazy to do anything else. Mickey's face held a mild hurt at her lack of reaction that she tried to ignore. She couldn't be expected to be on call all day could she?

"So what's on tap today?" he asked. He pulled up a chair next to Rose and leaned onto the table. At Jackie's lack of answer Rose spoke up hesitantly. Neither of them had really gotten past the good mornings and since Rose had spent the majority of her vacation on the couch in front of the TV she didn't really know of anything.

"Oh, nothing of any importance. You know, the usual," she forced a smile to follow her weak response but he didn't seem to notice. In fact, he almost ignored her other than the slight nod of his head. Jackie however had been paying full attention since her daughter's boyfriend entered the room. It used to be the day that Rose would leap to her feet at the entrance of the charming Mickey. She had even once missed a day of high school simply because an attempt to perm her hair had gone awry and she didn't want him to see her in such fashion. Now it seemed that Mickey's presence was more of a habit for Rose than a treat. They rarely did things solely together anymore and Jackie hadn't caught them snogging in nearly two years, though granted Rose had been missing or traveling for most of that time. Still, she would've thought her daughter happy at the chance of this vacation the Doctor made her take and spent most of it with Mickey. Sure he was around and coming over so much in the last two days that he almost never left, but they weren't exactly spending it together. In fact, Rose seemed to be growing more and more grumpy with him as the week pressed on.

"You wanna go down to the library with me? I've got to return some books and pick up texts for class on Monday," he offered. Rose smiled, a little less pushed and nodded slightly. It'd be a great excuse to read up on some time travel novels, she thought wickedly.

"Sure, sounds... great," she sipped her tea and smiled at her mum who grinned back.

"Okay, well I'll be back to get you later," he grinned, said his goodbyes, gave each woman a kiss and waved as he left the room. Jackie stirred in more creamer for her coffee considering what to do with her latest boyfriend that day. A dull thunk interrupted her thoughts though as Rose's forehead had landed on the table between her arms again. She bit back a smile.

"Sooo tired!" moaned Rose, the mug still gripped in her hand. Jackie stared into her coffee and stood.

"Your hair's in your tea," she commented lightly as she went to wash out her cup. Rose perked her head up enough to see a thick strand of hair in her tea and huffed. Now she'd need a shower.

* * *

It was growing on lunch time and Rose found herself in front of the news one more time. Harriet Jones was chittering away in her take charge tone about the deficit and recovery but most of the time all Rose could recall of her was the terror on her face when she chittered about slitheens. Jackie walked by, her arms around her neck as she clasped a necklace. 

"Isn't that the new prime minister?" she asked, vaguely recognizing her from a while back.

"Yeah... Harriet Jones," Rose half giggled. Jackie smiled and walked around the couch to sit with her.

"What? What's so funny?" she almost chuckled herself.

"I was just remembering how we became friends with her and how we became enemies. You know I don't believe I'll ever forget the look on her face when the Doctor whispered in that man's ear," she grinned broadly. Jackie's was a little softer and more admiring. The light that seemed to follow Rose around was back in full force at the mention of the Doctor. At least she seemed to be happy while she was away from home, that the most she could ask for (well other than her protection). Suddenly Jackie wondered why it seemed to not be there when he wasn't around. She'd never noticed it until recently.

"Why Rose Tyler you are vicious!" she chuckled. Rose half rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry but it was funny! And he was so mad at her... I don't think we'll ever talk to her as friends again," she said thoughtfully, considering events that could happen in the future and how the Doctor would interact with her after doing something as foul as shooting a defeated enemy. The intensity that had been on his face was powerful enough she'd felt it to her bones. She prayed that horrid look was never aimed at her, it could very well break her into pieces.

"Speaking of which, when's the Good Doctor coming back forya anyway? He is coming back?" she asked, not fighting the hint of hope in her voice. Rose shot her a sideways glance and grinned again.

"Yes mum, he's coming back. He can't exactly travel the universe without his companion," she snickered. "No the deal was that I take a week's vacation and then we go off on another mission and he is not allowed to move through time at all. I don't want him going off and leaving me and then me never know 'cause he came back in time, ya know?" The last thing she wanted was for him to forget her or forget that she cared even when no one else in the entire existence of life did. When he was the nineth doctor she'd seen some of the damage a life like his can have on a man like him and she couldn't bear the thought of being powerless to mend it. She simply cared far too much for him.

"Oi Rose, turn off the tele!" Mickey cried out exasperated as he came in the front door.

"RICKEY!" she giggled, earning a furious look on his face as she threw her hands in the air. Jackie chuckled a bit herself at the almost celebration of pronouncing his name wrong. They both knew exactly how much it bothered him, mostly because it was Rose's precious Doctor that created it.

"That's not funny you know," he bit, jerking the remote from her hand and flipping the channel. Rose's smile turned irate almost instantly.

"Ae! I was watchin that! and I was just playing, no need to go snatching things," she replied bitterly. She took the remote back and switched to the news.

"Well you know it annoys me! Ever since that Doctor came along and started calling me that... on purpose!" he rumbled as he found a seat in the recliner on her right. "And to use it against me like that... you know you've been sniping at me all week," he accused. His voice was almost harsh enough to hurt her. Why would he say such a thing?

"No I haven't," she denied. The silence that answered her suggested otherwise. She glanced from mother to boyfriend and then back. "Have I really?" she worried.

"Yes... you have been getting rather grumpy," Jackie explained. "I actually thought about this mornin."

"Well you can't really blame me! I haven't really even had a night's sleep in a week..." Mickey didn't look very convinced and her mother's face held sympathy. "Besides I mean it is quite boring here compared to the stars and time. I think I'm going mad just sitting here all day!" she squeaked. They just didn't understand at all what it was like to sit on a couch when time and space lay waiting for her to explore along side the doctor. And she'd been trying to figure out why she even needed this vaction to begin with.

"Well... why don't you and Mickey go do something? yeah?" Jackie thought aloud. Mickey looked up so she could see the whites line the bottom of his eyes. He was very close to losing his patience with Rose, it was clear in his features. He'd been waiting for six months to see her after worrying over her and missing her desperately and she showed no similar signs.  
"Yeah? Like what?" questioned Rose, striping the nail polish off her index finger. It was colored 'frisky clover', a color that made the Doctor's eyebrow raise when he read it aloud earlier that week.

"Like, um... I dunno, uh... THE CARNIVAL!" she shrieked with almost enough excitement to take her off the couch. Rose smiled at her fondly to avoid laughing.

"The carnival?" Mickey asked slowly.

"Yeah! It's going to be in town soon. They're setting it up tonight actually... Jesse was telling me about it," she explained. Rose furrowed her brows together as she continued to scrape at her nail.

"Jesse? Who's that?"

"Its your mum's new boyfriend. Been around for almost a month, this one," Mickey put in. Rose's mouth made a circle formation as she nodded.

"Now wait a minute... what are you doing knowing who my beau is?" Jackie threatened. "Are you spyin on me?" Rose giggled softly.

"Better watch out Mickey. Her slaps are getting legendary around the universe." To this her mum glared daggers enough to get Rose off the couch and halfway to the door. Mickey followed, shoving his hands in his pockets as she grabbed her purse.

"Oh right, right... make fun of your mother..." The two quickly moved to leave, Rose closing the door as her mother spoke. "Well you'd better watch that tongue of yours young lady or else the Doctor'll have to have a mute companion!" she stated after them. Rose smirked happily at her mum a split second before closing the door. She could hear her annoyed huff through the wood and silently laughed as they headed down the stairs.

---------Meanwhile---------  
The tardis floated quietly amongst the stars with a mild burnt stain on the right wall. Nothing serious looking, but still evident signs of confrontation. On the inside a battered Doctor stood leaning over the frayed control panel. The reds and blues of the buttons flashed over the discomfort of his face. He straightened his back for all of a second before snapping back into a half crouch of pain. Clutching the left side of his chest he continued working without a word. This pain was nothing compared to what he would've felt had he not sent Rose home for a vacation. He simply didn't believe it possible to let her walk into such a blatant death trap and live with himself afterward, especially if anything had happened to her. She was too special for that, which really was the reason he went. It'd been hard to convince her to go home without explaining things though.

A small smile found it's way to his face at the memory.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No, I just think... we've been doing a lot of running for our lives lately and you are only human."

"So what does that make you Mr. Timelord? Bet you're just trying to get me out so you can have a vacation! Gonna sew some wild oats eh?"

"What are you talking about? I just want you to be... well." He explained, chosing his words delicately so as not to completely lie. She eyed him suspiciously and he knew she could see something was going on in those passionate eyes.

"Well... I guess that's alright. But you have to promise me--"

"Anything." he answered, almost interrupted. She grinned at his eagerness.

"You have to promise me that you won't go off on any missions alone, that you'll come back and get me? Alright? And no time traveling neither. I don't want you coming back a year older than when you left you hear me?" His grin broadened at the faithful way she trusted his judgement against her own desire to be with him. He really had no idea what he would've done if he hadn't of found her. The more he thought on it the more resolved he became to head back to Earth early just to see her sooner. He loved her and wasn't afraid to admit it. He'd loved her deeply since the moment he'd told her to run and as time moved on he only grew more hooked on her. She was the addiction he never wanted to break. He wasn't sure why but something just made her different from all the other women he'd ever loved. Something made her better, sweeter and it was something he clearly was willing to fight to the death over more than once. Of course he didn't tell her this... He was too afraid of the outcome. What if she decided to stop traveling with him? What if she didn't return his feelings? What if he had to be alone again indefinitely? No one could replace her. He would rather be her friend and keep her near than openly love her and watch her leave. Shifting his weight he considered the possiblities of the day. Maybe he could even spend time resting with her. He pulled several levers to steer him on.

---------on Earth----------

"Mickey!" whined Rose from the bottom of the stoop at the library. "Come-- on!" He gave her his fierce 'wait a minute' look as he finished his conversation with the librarian Caitlin. She'd gone to high school with the two of them and worked with Mickey for a short while after Rose left with the Doctor. She was nice enough, but Rose had wanted to stop by Starbucks on the way home to say hello to her own friend, Kelly. Shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket she realized most of her human friends probably believed she was dead. Afterall she'd been missing for a year and never really came all the way back. "'ey Mickey, I'm going to go on. I'll see you tomorrow!" she waved. He waved back, all smiles and turned from Caitlin.

"The carnival remember!" he cheered. She smiled to herself as she headed down the road. She'd read a couple pretty good books on time travel in the four hours they spent there. Mickey hadn't told her he planned to do a little studying too. Still, she had a good laugh at the completely incorrect information that filled those novels and getting out of the house for a while felt good. It'd been a fairly relaxing day. Her mum had phoned Mickey's cell and told her to be ready for pasta for dinner, she'd talked to a few old friends, planned to talk to another and was going to get her favorite coffee as a treat. Lifting her face to the sky she figured it was good by earth standards, but what would make her happy was probably flying around up there somewhere.

The Doctor tossed another lever, almost moaning at the pain it sent up his arm. Any minute now he'd be reappearing at his regular alley near Rose's house and could sit still for a little while. The damaged tardis' bumping and jolting, though minimal, was jarring his wounds terribly. Taking a calming breath he blinked away the fuzzy rims around his vision and waited for the room to land. He could already see the smile Rose would give him for coming back early in his mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
ne? What do think? Should I keep going or just slip away in quiet destitution as punishment for my butchering of the show?


	2. Who Knows

**As We Go -- chapter 2: Who Knows**

_A/N: FINALLY I can update! lol my internet's been acting so funky that it wouldn't even let me look at the login screen. Please forgive the delay :) You guys are just sooo great! I've never gotten so many reviews:) Great big internet hug Now I have to hope that I don't let you down with the chapters to come lol I know the title of this chapter is a little corny but you'll see it suits! lol Now here's a heads up, the next two chapters might be a little confusing, there is a reason for that. I put in 's to help tell the POVs apart but if you have any questions just ask and I'll be more than happy to answer. Oh and I'm thinking about putting in sneak peaks of the next chapters at the end of each one. This one will be the experiment, if you like the sneak peaks I'll keep them._

Now some shouts:  
DoobreyFerkin hope this helps your imagination! haha

Andi in answer to your question about Rose finding him... wicked grin kinda sorta what happens

Jess x thanks and yes, I'd love to have the eps in advance. I've even thought of forking over $100 to get them here NOW lol but I'll appreciate it more if I watch Eccleston's version first (which I love) and keep zoning the internet for tidbits of the future :)

Tai I love long reviews! lol But I can't answer much of your question without revealing the plot. I can say you will find out exactly how he got it later on and that he doesn't realize how bad it is. Thanks and keep reading! I love my pretty A :)

Zan FINALLY lol

* * *

Starbucks was empty, but for the radiating blond sitting at the bar and her red headed friend behind the counter. Rose beamed at her old mate, mildly enjoying a blast from her past as she downed a whipped cream capuccino which she had received for free she might add. Sometimes there were perks to coming back from the dead. "And then he said... thank you for the-- consideration," Kally roared and Rose laughed heartily though she hadn't quite caught the joke.

"I'll tell you Rose, when you disappeared for so long we all thought you were dead... if you aren't dead why didn't you come back for your job?" she asked. Rose shrugged.

"I figured I'd been fired," Rose lied.

"So do you have a new job?"

Rose smiled brightly. "Yeah," she answered, averting her eyes. "It's great."

"What do you do?" proded Kally.

"Well, I work for this man as sort of an assistant."

"Ooo. Do I know him? Is he local?"

"No no! Haha, he's nowhere near local. In fact that's where I spend most of my time, I'm off working with him."

"Wow. So what's he like? I mean you gotta really be able to tolerate someone for a job like that." Rose thought about it, her grin playing at her lips again. Of course she and the Doctor got along and there wasn't any 'toleration' going on that she was aware of. Really, she couldn't get enough of him and his adventures. Everything was exciting with him around. But how to describe him?

"Well... he's very intelligent, like you wouldn't believe some of the things he knows and he's got the most awesome place! It's HUGE!" she said. Kally awed enviously.

"Is that it?"

"Just about. Not much to it," she lied again.

"Well is he attractive? Or is he one of them old men that grabs your bum everytime you turn around near 'em?" Rose laughed out loud. She couldn't even imagine the Doctor grabbing anyone's bum, much less her own. But was he attractive? She blushed involuntarialy. He always had been, even in his last older body he was bloody attractive. Only now he was more handsome than ever. Sometimes she had to physically avoid looking at him for fear of getting caught. He wouldn't let her live it down! It's not as easy as it looks... Behind her Rose eard the store door open and Kally looked over at the customer with a smile.

"Hi, how are you?" she called over to them. "Give me one second, Rose," she asked in a hushed voice. Rose started to nod.

"No need girls, I'm here for her," he interrupted, his voice more than familiar. She spun on her stool to face the Doctor grinning wildly at the look of surprise and laughter on her face.

"Ey! What are you doing here? I thought you said a week?" she said, returning his grin as he sat before her. Kally looked back and forth between them.

"Wait a tic, you know him?" she questioned.

"Yeah you could say so," he answered for her. There was a comfortable fondness in his eyes that Rose was used to, one that made all her insecurities of home dissolve in an instant. He was shelter for her, a friend and a protector and more wrapped into one human like package just for her. She beamed at him unknowningly.

"Um, Kally... this is... my boss... the Doctor," she hesitated. This clearly wasn't ground she'd trod upon before.

"Oh a doctor? You didn't say he's a doctor! I'm Kally!" she chirped. The Doctor glanced at Rose for guidance and the message in her eyes told him she didn't want Kally to know to know the truth about them so he played along.

"Nice to meet you Kally," he greeted with hand outstretched. Kally blushed and accepted it. "So what exactly did Rose tell you?" Rose's face turned pink whilst she anxiously went over everything she'd said. Was there anything that she might not have wanted him to know.

"Well she said that she's been working as your assistant out of town a lot and from my impression she likes you pretty well," she said. Rose felt him glance at her on this and couldn't help blushing. "She didn't tell me how cute you are," Kally added flirtaously.

"Kally!" Rose cried, not making eye contact with the Doctor. Oh he was loving this...

"Am I?" he flirted. His voice was purely conversational but the way his eyebrows lifted revealed differently.

"Yes very much so," Kally smiled. Rose knew the Doctor could have no interest in her friend, but still the fliratous display was bothering her. Almost laughing she tried to distract Kally from the Doctor.

"So why are you here?" she asked him, changing the topic. The Doctor's grin turned to her and the way she was hiding her face from Kally's view with her hand.

"Thought I might surprise you... Surprise!" he said enthusiastically. Rose laughed.

"Well I certainly am surprised."

"Are you only in on business?" inquired Kally.

"Sure are and if you two weren't too terribly involved I thought I'd take my assistant back to work," he chimed. Though thoroughly embarassed when Kally agreed to see her later, Rose followed the Doctor out. The sun was already setted below the horizon, leaving the light dull and the air crisp. As the door closed behind them she turned on him.

"Your assistant? And what exactly are you doing back so soon?" she pressed. He kept walking with his hands in the pockets of his coat and she again followed.

"Well you said I was your boss... and as your boss--"

"Don't even go there!" she scolded. "I had to tell her something. I couldn't exactly tell her that I've been gone exploring the universe now could I?"

"You could, though I don't think she'd believe you," he agreed. She smiled fondly at him, watching him as he walked.

"Right. So why are you back so soon?"

"Just thought I'd pop in," he replied, turning just in time to catch the look on her face. This time she blushed again. He smiled. He knew he'd love her reaction to his early arrival. Taking her hand they walked on. "And I could use the time to keep working on the Tardis without an alien threat hovering over our heads."

"Oh, alright," she responded. "How did you--"

"Know you were here?" he finished and she nodded. "I ran into you mother when I arrived. She said you had told her about meeting a friend at a coffe shop later, just guessed between it and the library."

"Oh... very deductive," she smirked. He saw her look at him from the corner of her eyes again. "Why are you walking funny?"

"Am I walking funny?" he asked without looking at her.

"Yeah, it's not much but sorta hunched and halting... are you alright?" she asked concerned.

"I'm fine, Rose," he stated firmly, still not regarding her seriously. She wasn't convinced but this wasn't the voice he would allow her to question. He clearly had no intention of telling her.

"Hey! Rose! Doctor!" a voice shouted from behind. They turned to see Mickey running down the street and he released her hand. No matter how hard he tried, the Doctor simply found Rose's dim witted boyfriend aggravating. "Sorry I took so long," he huffed. The Doctor's nose rose slightly.

"Sorry? I didn't know you were on the way," he replied.

"Oh he's talking to me," Rose explained. "We went to the library earlier. Did Caitlin give you the class work you needed?" she asked. They started walking again with Rose in the middle.

"Yeah, told me all about that class I missed earlier this week when I fell asleep at your place too," he nodded.

"Caitlin? You got a new girlfriend?" the Doctor asked. It was meant to be snippish but it came out quite friendly. Still he felt Rose's elbow jab him.

"No, me and Mickey went to school with her. They have classes together," she assured.

"So what's he doing here so soon? You aren't leaving are you? I thought you weren't leaving for another day," said Mickey.

"I'm using the time to fix up the Tardis. We won't be leaving until the said date," he promised cheerfully.

"Good cause I was looking forward to the carnival," he grinned at Rose. She smiled back.

"OH! Doctor you should come!" she wailed.

"To a carnival?" he looked disbelieving.

"Yeah! Should be fun and it'd be great if you could go with us!"

"Yeah great," Mickey groaned under his breath.

"Rose, I've been around the world hundreds of times and seen things you couldn't imagine. Why in the world would I go to a 21st century carnival?" he asked simply. He thought it sounded a bit mean, but he couldn't risk her catching him screaming in pain as the rollercoasters knocked him about.

"Oo gee," she laughed, "I just thought you might," she added and nudged him with her shoulder.

"I think I'll just stay and get the Tardis taken care of," he clarified. She looked at him closely and then nodded.

"Alright then," she replied quietly. He looked down at his watch.

"Oh my, look at the time!" he piped. "I've got some work to get done, see you in the morning?"

"Yeah, sure... in the morning," she nodded weakly.

"Later Rickey!" the Doctor waved as he dropped back and headed off to the left.

"THAT's MICKEY!" he shouted back. "I don't like him," he then told Rose matter-of-factly. She only barely heard him speaking though, her mind lost on other topics. Somehow she felt disappointed at the Doctor's lack of wanting to be around. He'd never really wanted to be around her family before but he did anyway just to stick with her and it made her feel special. All she could think now was that maybe she'd worn out her welcome with him. Maybe all her teasing and questioning and proding into his world had pushed things too far. She never had quite related to him the polite way strangers do, she didn't feel she needed to. They had always just seemed to click without trying.

"Rose?" Mickey's voice brought her back.

"Huh?"

"I asked you if you wanted to do a movie marathon tonight?" he repeated.

"Not tonight Mickey, I'm so tired. Let's just watch two, okay?" she was almost begging him. Had he forgotten the lack of sleep she'd had since the start of this vacation? And why couldn't she just say no to anyone anymore without feeling guilty for making a choice?

"Sure, sounds good. A horror and a comedy?"

"Make it two action features and you've got a deal," she smiled. He shook her hand and smiled so hard she thought his face might crack.

"I'll run to store later and pick some up," he assured and they fell into silence. Her mind was too busy sorting through the Doctor. This whole thing was beginning to be too suspicious. Why wouldn't he tell her what was going on? First he shoves her off on this 'vacation', then he shows up a day early looking like he's been hit over the head with a happy stick, then he lied about the way he was walking, and then on top of it all he acted like he the suggestion of going to a carnival with her was ridiculous. She was feeling pretty pushed out. Shoving her hands into her pockets she scuffed her feet the way her mum hated just to hear the sound. Seemed like nothing was going right anymore. Her mum seemed to all but hate the Doctor and force her to feel guilty over spending so much time away from home, Mickey openly despised him and was constantly tearing at her emotions over leaving him, and now the Doctor was behaving oddly. It had been bad enough before. At least bad enough that her mother and Mickey were beginning to notice it taking a toll on her. Her lies were plenty convincing to save face, but she was starting to wonder how much more she could take of it. She knew what she wanted. What she wanted was to be with the Doctor, flying through existence in the Tardis to another new adventure. But did he even want her there? He once complained that she was turning him domestic but she had tossed it off as playful banter. What if it wasn't? What if he was smiling and talking to her on the outside but hiding his true feelings inside like he did with strangers? The very thought threatened to tear her in two. She hadn't realized that what happened or what anyone else thought mattered so much until right now. She just wanted to live her life, why couldn't she do that? Why couldn't she just have a simple existence?

Scuff  
Rose turned to see who was behind them as she walked and saw only street. Maybe it'd been an echo? Odd though how it had caught her attention so completely. And something unusually similar to it had happened earlier in the week after the Doctor left. Only then two strangers had practically barreled her over when she turned back around. To avoid it happening again she turned slowly this time and Mickey smiled at her.

"Hearing things again?" he asked jokingly. Earlier that week she'd been incessantly looking over her shoulder and he'd taken up teasing her everytime. Now she returned the smile and said with rattled, good natured laugh: "Yeah I guess"  
The Doctor lay on the lumpy old couch Rose had once shoved into the control room with his head laid back over the top. He was breathing hard from the walk back. The wounds on his chest were beginning to be more of a problem than he thought. Rose had noticed his compensating for the pain despite his best efforts and that worried him.

* * *

"So I told her not to touch it, but she did anyway. Honestly I tell ya, children these days!" a deep feminine voice reverberated through the room. He looked up to the screen he put on the console and saw an over weight elderly woman bustle by. He'd set it up so that if Rose came by he could hear and see her coming before she caught him this way, but every woman that walked by had him startled. Fortunately this time, Rose and Mickey were behind that woman and he hadn't wasted the energy it took to look up. They were walking slowly, Rose with her hands in her pockets and Mickey chatting away about work. She smiled at him until she saw the Tardis. After that her eyes were glued to it. The Doctor watched her closely, trying to decide if she was going to come in or not. They stopped and Mickey glanced at the blue box too.

"sigh I can't believe you're really going off again," he said. The Doctor rolled his eyes and stood. Of course she was going off again, he was leaving and she certainly wouldn't let him go alone so Rickey the idiot needed to get over it. They'd been doing this for almost a year now.

"Of course I am Mickey, you know that. And I don't think it's going to change anytime soon," she replied, though inwardly she fought against thinking she was wrong.

"Well I know, but... it's so unreal sometimes, ya know?"

"Not really," she laughed sweetly. The Doctor smiled to himself as he began working to straighten out the wires in the control console. Rose really had adapted well to his lifestyle, at least better than any of his other companions, and she seemed to be loving every second of it. Flying off in the Tardis really wasn't the most unreal thing she could do anymore, he mused. "Listen, I think I'm going to talk to the Doctor for a minute if you wanna go on in?" she suggested. At that he moved to stare at the screen.

"Nah, I think I'll run get those movies for later," said Mickey.

"Okay, well I'll see you in a few then?" she asked. Mickey nodded and leaned in for a kiss when the screen went blank. He couldn't watch it, he couldn't even understand how or exactly what bothered him about it, but everytime he saw them that way it got to him. Perhaps it was the relationship itself? By keeping Mickey here waiting for her it was like a safety blanket and if she ever left him she could come back here. But then why would that bother him? He wanted her to be happy and not pushed. More than anything he wanted her to want to be with him instead of just going to keep him happy. It was just MICKEY! Could he possibly be jealous? As he moved back to the console the thought seemed to baffle him. What did he have to be jealous of? He wasn't jealous. So what then? Did he feel sorry for Mickey? Having to wait months on end for Rose to come back and light up his life for a few moments? He definately couldn't envy that.

The door to the Tardis opened and she came in. She was smiling and half waved at him when they made eye contact. Something about her smile wasn't all there, it was almost like covering up the darkness.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hello," he answered cheerfully. Remembering the screen he'd set up before she came in he moved past her to dismantle it before she had time to notice. "Need anything?" he asked, glancing up at her as he worked. She shook her head, twiddling with her fingers at the hem of her shirt. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah... were you watching me just now?" she asked, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.

"No," he replied flatly and turned before he could see the mild disappointment on her face. She shrugged and leaned against the counter next to him.

"Okay. So I thought I'd come help out a little, what can I do?" Her eyes roamed the the room she had missed so much. "Blimey, what happened in here?" He looked up, following her eyes to the damage done on his latest mission.

"Bit of a run in, nothing serious," excused the Doctor, not seeing the way her eyes widened in worry. He was too busy thinking of all the wires that needed mending, the console that needed reformating and the walls that were falling down, none of which he wanted her to attempt and none of which he could attempt until his wounds were better. "The warnings could use some calibrations," he suggested and pointed to the red and blue buttons.

"Okay," she smiled, moving to take care of it. She glanced at him as she pushed a sequence of buttons on her right and went through the routine he'd taught her. The purpose was to make all the colors stop flashing and remain a steady blue or red, though it's whole effect eluded her. She was too busy going over the idea that maybe the Doctor had grown tired of her. What could she have done? In an instant her mind roamed everything they had been through together and she found her eyes wandering to him across the console. He looked so serious and focused, the same way he always did when he worked on the Tardis. She wasn't sure if it was because he had to be serious or because he wanted to be but either way she really loved the way his jaw set.

BLEEP She almost jumped out of her skin when she heard it.

"What was that?" she whispered. He looked up from where he was knelt on the other side and smirked at the anticipation on her face.

"It was a warning blip. You punched in the sequence wrong, don't worry, it resets after that beep so you can start from scratch," he assured, eyes back on the wires he was toying with.

It felt natural then. Him on one side, working at all the difficult things he refused to let her do, and her on the other doing her best she could to help. Even the silence was the way it'd been before she left; full but never heavy. They'd go for hours without speaking and not once feel awkward. She glanced at him again as he sorted through the wires quickly and then right back to the buttons. Red button, blue button, blue button, red button... send. Blue button, red button, blue button... send. She smirked to herself for being so worrisome. Sure she was scared that he'd leave her behind or that he secretly disliked her, but he had yet to give her solid proof of that so why stress? She wanted to look at him again only this time she hesitated.

BLEEP Her mildly frustrated grunt drew his attention yet again as she failed at the sequence. Everytime she looked at him she screwed it up. She had to pay attention! Now what did he tell her the function for these buttons were? Oh yes, resetting the emergency warnings for the Tardis. There was one for oxygen, one for temperature, one for the vortex gage, one for intruders... with all the buttons before her she was certain there wasn't anything the Tardis didn't have a warning for. It was too bad that he'd told her some of them were permenately broken. Warnings were good things to have when there was danger. But despite her best efforts Rose could not keep her mind off him. Or her eyes aparently. She glanced over at him again, this time noticing exactly how attractive he had turned out to be. Sure she had taken note of it before, especially after he had regenerated, but this time it was kind of different. Now she noticed precisesly how nice his hair was and acknowledged an odd desire to run her fingers through it, as well as the force she could see behind his now deep brown eyes. They had a power to them with this new body, a desire for life that could fill anyone with hope.

BLEEP "Bloody..." she half trailed the curse, glimpsing the full blown grin on his face as she ashamedly continued to try. In peripheal vision she saw him clearly scratch his nose with his knuckle before attempting to focus again. With all the beeping going on though his smile was almost plastered on. She wouldn't put it past him to know exactly why the darned thing was making noises. Rose fought a grin at the adorable look of bewilderment and cockiness mixed together on his features. It rather suited him nicely to her surprise.

BLEEP BLEEP "What did I do?" she asked hurriedly.

"Nothing-- yet," he teased. "The Tardis is just messing with you."

"Oh haha," Rose retorted and hit a few more buttons. This time he watched her do it, his hands stopped from their previous work. She knew it too and as if on cue: BLEEP

"Why don't, you just let me take care of that? Eh?" he suggested and stood. She blushed without realizing it and he laughed. She'd be all but caught in her distractions. "I appreciate the offer Rose, but right now I believe your mind is elsewhere," he added jovially.

"What do you mean?" she inquired, walking around the console to stand next to him. Her hand quickly found it's way to her hip in her "try me" stance. He recognized it but didn't understand it's unprovoked appearance.

"Well, you are home and Mickey's out there waiting for you... do you think it's fair though?" he asked abruptly.

"Do I think what's fair?"

"Keeping Mickey waiting for you like this when you're gone around the universe most of the time." His voice was casual, but she doubted his ability to take such a step back and observe. He never REALLY liked Mickey, as hard as he tried.

"Who says I'm keeping him waiting? I might have nothing to do with it." At this he shot her a look of displeasure.

"Rose, you've got everything to do with it. You kiss him," he stated and walked across the room for a wrench.

"Is that a statement or a question?" she demanded.

"Hmm..." tauntingly thinking it over,"... question!" he replied. He knew such a smart alek remark wouldn't go far, but it was fun to watch her get riled up. He came back to her side with the wrench and bent to use it.

"Wha- I- Why do you care?" she shot back. Standing quickly he walked to another cabinet to put away the wrench and retrieve some spare wire. She followed him. "Well?" He averted his eyes from her completely as he went back to close the panel he'd been working on. He'd asked her a question he didn't really want her to answer and now she was doing the same thing of him. What would she do with the truth? Did she even know what the truth was? "I don't see how it's any business of yours rather or not I kissed Mickey," she concluded, her voice deceptively conversational. He felt a sharp pain in his chest that pleaded with him to slow down, only he knew that if he did Rose would win this little tiff by backing him into a corner and batting those eye lashes of hers until she sucked the information from him and left him dry. A little pain never hurt anybody...

"You ride in my time/space machine, I save your life regularly and it's none of my business? It's only fair to ask a question," he defended and crossed to another far storage department wall. "Not that I patricularly wanted to know but now I think I do," he mocked. She followed on his heels, attention peaked whilst he struggled to maintain his healthy appearance and stride.

"That sort of thing is private you know," she informed. She watched as he opened one door after another in search of something, never looking her way. His chest was burning with pain now from all the quick movements he was making and the ups and downs of cabinet searching. "You don't tell me when you go off snogging."

"That would be because I don't," he turned to look her in the eye and then right back to the storage compartment doors. It's was becoming more of a challenge now than anything, who could provoke the most information out of the other without meaning to.

"So am I in trouble now because I pay attention to someone other than you? Tell me, what sounded so ridiculous to you about going to a carnvial with me?" she asked, still following him step for step, frowning deeply. She was so close that she could probably smell the guilt coming off of him. He shouldn't have been so harsh on her earlier. Could she hear his hearts beating rapidly? "And look at me when I'm talking to you!" she commanded. At that he huffed and whirled around to face her, desperate to alleviate the pressure she had on him some way. To his surprise he found her face hardly more than a foot from his and overestimated the turn. With a jolt of pain swirling in his head he teetered off balance, dropping straight into her.

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chap 3: A Long Day's Night "You keep saying that... Oh my god," she trembled and threw herself toward him. He prepared for a hug or a punch, but her hand tenderly pushed against the upper left side of his chest. When she drew it back the pale contours of her hand were stained with blood.

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Ne? Please review if you like it and I'll do my best to keep it coming:) 


	3. Long Day's Night

As We Go  
Chapter 3: A Long Day's Night

A/N: Sorrrrrrrrry it took sooooooooooo long. :( Thanks also for being so patient, I had exams last week and all writing was stalled until now. Now I can go on a writing frenzy! lol I did make a 3.0 for the semester if that makes anyone feel any better:-p Again, I love you guys! Squee! Sorry for the HORRIBLE errors in chap. 2. Guess I wanted it out so bad that I didn't double check it. This chapter was the most fun to write because it all peaks toward the end. The title for this chapter is appropriate for the content but deceptive of the length unfortunately. I simply felt too much was going on already to add more. And as many of you pointed out the Tardis does have a medical lab. The Doctor has reasons for not currently using it that will be alluded to later on in the chapter. Hopefully chapter 4 will answer most of your questions about technicalities. Again, thanks to everyone for your great reviews! Please keep reading and keep reviewing :o)

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Rose dropped down to catch him before he could fall, her arms gripping round his waist as he clung to her shoulders. He didn't feel the impact of hitting the floor so he assumed they'd managed to keep that particular pain away. His eyes rose to meet her panicked hazel orbs and locked. The feelings he saw screaming to him there were all but breathing a life of their own. How did she manage to fix concern, strength, promise, and loyalty all in that one look? She was saying more in a second than she could have in a thousand years. He squeezed her arms gently to keep her from pulling away, though no such move was made. She must've been recovering from the shock because he could see her searching for something in him now, an answer to a question that it seemed like she didn't even know... and he felt guilty. He had lied to her about the mission already, lied about his health, and now he was going to have to lie to get her out of the Tardis so he could properly inspect his wounds. When he'd gotten them the day before they hadn't seemed so bad, in fact he'd completely neglected them in his efforts to get away from the danger. Of course then he had passed out on his bed for a good twelve hours and decided to come here when he woke up. He wasn't behaving very smartly. Wounds kill people and the last thing he needed was to regenerate on Rose all over again. At least he had cleaned them up and changed clothes before he went after her. Jackie had actually insisted that he do so if he insisted on not telling Rose what was wrong. Jackie just didn't understand that he didn't want Rose to see him like this or know what he had done to protect her. He was too afraid of losing her, of scaring her off because he couldn't guard her completely... the less she knew of this the better off they were...

"Hey Rose?" Mickey's voice blasted the complete silence that had blanketed the room. He let the Tardis door shut behind him. Rose was the first to look away as she helped the Doctor to his feet.

"Mickey, hey..." she started, but at the look of hurt on his face hesitated, "he tripped s'all. I tried to stop him from fal--"

"I just came by to let you know I got called into work last second. Bob's having trouble with the inventory records," Mickey explained cheerfully. Rose's eyebrows knit together in confusion and she nodded.

"So no dinner?" she asked meekly, taking a couple steps toward him. The Doctor went back to digging in the storage door next to him. He was no moron when it came to private matters and this was his best attempt at ignoring the one before him.

"No. No dinner and no movies. I'll probably be there a while..." he answered, the happiness fading. "But come by the flat later so I can say goodbye," he added with vigor. Rose nodded and smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah sure, I'll be there. Say tenish?" Without even looking at her the Doctor could hear her best attempt at smoothing the tension out. She was really good at saying the right thing when it was needed... sometimes. Others she spouted exactly what was on her mind regardless of the penalty. He couldn't decide if that quality was endearing or obnoxious. Poor Mick though. It really hadn't been what it looked like. And poor Rose for having the duty of convincing him otherwise.

"Yeah, tenish," he turned to leave. "See you Doctor." The Doctor stood to face the door, shoving both hands in his pockets as he leaned back against the nearest cabinet.

"See you Rickey," he agreed quietly. The door slammed in response making him and Rose both cringe. "Maybe I should've said Mickey," he thought aloud.

"You know he can't stand it when you call him that, it drives him bonkers," Rose murmured. She finally turned back toward him. Several steps now separated them and the link they had had. "He looked so hurt," she said, imploring him with her eyes to make the whole thing better, "all you did was fall. I mean it wasn't like we... kissed or anything." The Doctor nodded to himself, eyes dropping to the steel floor beneath them. They might not have kissed but the situation would have looked very different to an outsider. "Doctor?" Her voice was still fairly soft. He looked up to find her examining the walls. "You didn't have a run in did you? You went on a mission?" She made it sound like a question but he knew it wasn't. It was a request for confirmation.

"Yes." Her eyes fell back on his and he knew what she was about to say.

"Why?" The pain this knowledge seemed to cause her clawed at his insides more than the nagging ache of his chest. He pushed off the cabinet to approach her and instantly regretted it. He didn't realize how many muscles that little motion would involve and the surge of agony that ripped through him forced a pause into his speech.

"It wasn't anything important, Rose. It was last second and a bit risky... I didn't see the need to take you away from your vacation," he explained, hoping the pain he felt didn't show to her. He was having a hard time focusing on her face. The fuzzy line around his vision was back and the swirling in his head was coming back too. He tried to force it off by blinking hard.

"It wasn't my vacation though, I didn't want to go," she reminded him. "I don't care how risky it is, I'm your companion and I would follow you anywhere." He looked straight at her now, despite the growing fogginess of the room. He had to. Her words were penetrating. She clearly told him that she was upset with him for lying, but also devoted to his every move... She wasn't going to question him or run away because it meant more than a little lethal behavior. He didn't know what to say or feel... all he knew was confusion. She was struggling to tell him something else, something more than those few words had already revealed to him...

It happened in slow motion. One second she was looking at him, trying to tell him how much she loved her life with him (without being too domestic) and the next he was falling. He had started to take a step, to say something to her, and he never completed either.

"Doctor?" Rose dove to catch him as he crumpled to the floor before her. "Doctor? Doctor!" She sank under his weight, cradling his shoulders as best she could. "DOCTOR!" He wasn't responding at all. He was practically lifeless. For a minute she held him there, desperately thinking of what she could do for help. This can't be happening, it can't, she thought distraught. She'd almost lost him during the regeneration, helpless to stop whatever was hurting him and now she was there again. Her very being was on high alert. Suddenly she remembered her cell phone and gracefully managed to slip it out of her pocket without dropping his head. She phoned Jackie in tears and together they carried his limp body up to the flat.

"What happened?" Jackie whispered in the kitchen once they'd settled him on the couch. Rose looked a nervous wreck with her hands wringing worriedly and her eyes still red from crying. She couldn't help but remember how lost Rose had looked the last time something like this happened.

"I don't know. One second we were talking and then the next he just collapsed," she replied. Jackie drew her daughter into a tight hug as an effort to chase away the fear.

"He's alright, it's alright now, Rose. He probably was just hungry," she offered, still clinging to the promise she had made with him earlier. She felt wretched for not assuring her daughter when she had the power to.

"Hungry?" questioned Rose, pulling back.

"I mean like maybe his blood sugar ran low?"

"Oh... I think I'm going to get him a cool rag and some water... would you prop him on a pillow?" she asked. Jackie nodded and they split up. She had just reached to lift up his head when the Doctor groaned.

"Rose!" she bellowed and the younger girl came thundering back into the room. She set aside the glass of water in her hand and assisted him with sitting up. She then knelt before him on a comfortable eye level, keeping her hands on his knees to remind herself he wasn't dying.

"Are you alright?" she rasped. His brown eyes searched for hers through the lingering blackness. His hair was a mess and his head felt like someone had shoved a needle through it, but the fear in her voice was the worst result yet of whatever had happened. As though she'd read his mind she said: "You passed out... mum thinks you might not have eaten properly toady." He glanced over at Jackie. Her face held similar worry.

"I'm fine, really... but maybe I will take some of whatever she's cooking," he smiled half heartedly. Rose returned it, relieved, and tossed one at her mum. Jackie must have been cooking when Rose called for help because the air was full of wonderful scents.

"That's dandy to me Doctor, but you'd best not lie to her anymore. If she finds out on her own... well lets just say some things are hereditary," she warned. The Doctor's hand inexplicably moved to protect his cheek from any oncoming slaps as Rose eyed him.

"Lie to me about what? You are okay aren't you?" she asked. He nodded, swallowing with some difficulty. His throat was so dry and his mouth tasted sticky that when he spotted the water she'd brought in he immediately reached for it. Obviously Jackie hadn't given him away though she might as well have. Rose had enough suspicion now to connect the dots on her own.

"I'm fine, Rose," he tried. Her eyes filled with worry and heartache as she studied him down to the last hair on his hand.

"You keep saying that... Oh my god," she trembled and threw herself toward him. He prepared for a hug or a punch, but her hand tenderly pushed against the upper left side of his chest. When she drew it back the pale contours were stained with blood. "You're bleeding..." she whispered terrified. He sighed defeated and looked at his chest. He was still wearing the trench coat so the blood must've run through. Had it not been for the darkness of his clothes she might not have seen the liquid to begin with, but now that she had the jig was up. He was trying to remember if it had been bleeding this badly when he arrived. Surely he would've used the skin setting on the sonic screwdriver if it had... right? He wasn't being so daft with this situation as to leave a gaping hole in his chest was he? Reaching up dumbly he grazed the sore area with his fingertips. She watched as he discovered blood there too.

"It's nothing Rose, just a small cut I got--"

"On that mission you wouldn't take me on?" she erupted. He blinked at the anger in her voice, her face streaked with panic. This wasn't like her at all to be so quickly shaken.

"It's not the mission I wouldn't take you on, its mission I COULDN'T take you on," he corrected, "there is a difference."

"No there isn't. What was this mission, Doctor?" she asked, emphasizing his name almost hatefully. His eyebrows furrowed. "Needed to save a damsel in distress? Shopping for a new companion? Stop me if I reach it."

"Rose..." his words seemed to fail him in the face of her. She was never like this, never so irrational. How did she come up with that as the answer anyway? There was no retort to something so unfathomable. He scanned the room looking for something to help him understand, something to jar his mind into working order. She seemed to be getting control again because she looked at him hard for a long while.

"Take it off," she squeaked.

"Take what off?" That look of innocent bewilderment was on him again and she fought off a sad smile.

"Your shirt... you need medical attention. I'll get the kit," she replied.

"Nah, I'll just go get the sonic screwdriver from the Tardis and-- " she held up a hand to stop him. He sat back down on the couch.

"No, you aren't going anywhere. You wanna stumbled down the stairs? Or maybe crack open your head?" she interrogated. He frowned at her.

"I'm not going to do that Rose. I'm fine. I'll just get the screwdriver and set it to medical--"

"No... What? You don't understand English? How bout Spanish then? No," she said tartly. Jackie came to him, holding a muffin in one had and milk in the other, both of their eyes on Rose's retreating back. He knew she was angry but not angry enough to insult him. He thought he was the one who was supposed to do that.

In the bathroom Rose delayed retrieving the first aid kit. She sat against the tub with her knees lifted. What was wrong with her? How could she throw off at him like that? He'd never done anything intentional to her, so how could she assume he would? She didn't know what to think, what to do... all she knew was a blinding feeling of chaos. First that moment in the Tardis where she had started to feel normal again, then him slumping to the earth like he was dead, and now this. On top of his lying, Mickey's reaction to them, and the throbbing exhaustion coursing through her from several nights without sleep... She didn't know what the truth was anymore. Which way was up? she thought desolately and looked to the bathroom ceiling for a reply. Always up, always away... she felt like she was struggling to stay afloat, struggling and scraping at the walls as she fell to her death.

When she finally came back with the box in her hand he was waiting in silence. The remnants of a muffin in one hand and a half drunken glass of milk in the other. He was in only his undershirt now, a fresh white button up lying next to him. Her mum must've taken his over shirts and jacket to the wash instead of saving them for the Tardis. The Doctor looked up at her. He'd felt her come in and now his deep brown eyes swallowed her whole. How was she still sane when he had every ability to drive her crazy? "That one too," she said and opened the first aid kit on the coffee table. He flushed involuntarily, removing his shirt as told. He still didn't understand why she didn't go get the blasted sonic screwdriver. It wasn't a setting he liked to use but the medical function it had could mend skin far more efficiently than Earth medicine. Fidgeting slightly under her gaze, he couldn't recall if she'd ever seen him without his shirt on... bloody good first impression this would be. "Oh Doctor," she gasped. It was a long gash that curved its way from near his collar bone to just over his belly button, cut uncomfortably deep and bleeding rather significantly. Mostly it was colored purple and pink from the bruising but the dark clods of dry blood was a poignant display of how serious it really seemed to be. He quirked an eyebrow at it. It couldn't have been that bad when he landed.

"It's not as bad as it looks. A lot of dried blood I think," he told her, hoping it was true. "I heal very quickly you know so in a couple days it's only going to be a scratch." It was a promise she seemed disinterested in. She took out some gauge and the alcohol, refusing to speak. It hurt like seven hells when the alcohol found its way into his wound. Never would he have chosen this over the prickling feeling of the screwdriver, never! But he watched her face every mind boggling instant that her fingertips skimmed his skin and somehow he was fine with this option. Did she know that every time she did that it felt like lightning to him? Like someone was running electricity through him for fun? She put down the dirty gauge she'd been using and lifted another. "I didn't want you to know, Rose. I didn't want you to worry so I was going to hide it until it was better," he pleaded. Her eyes flicked up to his for less than a second and then back to his chest. Another moment of silence captured them. "Please Rose, say something!"

"You want me to say something? Like what? Like how ruddy stupid I feel? Or maybe how bloody stupid I AM for still doing this for you when I don't even know how you got it?" she snipped.

"What? Rose..." he gripped her wrist, surprised at the huskiness of his own voice. "You are not stupid by any means of the imagination. What's gotten into you? Why do I feel there is something you aren't telling me?" She looked up at him finally, eyes stinging with pent up emotions.

"Tell me, the truth... why didn't you take me with you on this mission?" Her voice was deadly calm. It only carried a slight hint of the fear he knew lurked within her. He swallowed, his gaze never wavering from hers now that she would look at him.

"There was an enemy... his name was Correll and he's hated me for a very long time. Ever since I blew up his brother in a misfired attack on the Daleks back in the time war... he's made it his mission to assure I have no piece of happiness in this life ...ever since I regenerated I thought I might be free of him. I had hoped..." Her eyes held his, filled with her own hope. She trusted him, believing every word that crossed his lips as though it kept her alive and it hurt to see what his lying had done to her. It hurt enough that he was secretly deciding to never do it again. "I received a transmission from him a week ago. He's learned of my new body... and of you... he threatened to destroy it all. I had to stop him," he explained. When she didn't reply he ventured on, "Before he could take you from me." Rose gazed at him for a long second, accepting what he said as the truth before going back to work at his wound. She removed her wrist from his grip, eyes red with unshed tears.

"You should've told me," she finally croaked, but he'd expected more. He'd expected her to berate him and guilt him and probably even punch him good in the arm for lying to her about everything... but nothing about her reactions were right tonight, they weren't Rose. They weren't the same compassionate, resilient, headstrong, and easy going Rose he knew so well. He tried to think, with all his knowledge of time and space, what could possibly be making her behave like this. The dramatically changing image of her was almost unnerving. Something was amiss with her, there was something she wasn't telling him and he couldn't be deterred from knowing it now. He opened his mouth to speak and abruptly she stood, making her way to leave the room again.

"Rose," he said, but she kept walking. He leapt to his feet to follow, grabbing his shirt along the way. "Rose." She could hear him calling her and the urgency in his voice but she just couldn't talk to him right then. Jackie passed on her way back to the kitchen and froze at the look on her daughter's face. Her reaction only made the Doctor move faster.

"Wait, Doctor," Jackie asked timidly. He stopped, looking at her confused as he buttoned his shirt. "Rose has had a hard week, a really hard week... just give her time."

"Pay attention now," he started, a fierce look in his eyes, "something is wrong with Rose... She is behaving odder than anyone I've ever seen and right now I don't know why. There isn't a good enough reason for me not to follow her!" he snapped and pushed past her. He knew he sounded angry, he knew he'd have to apologize, but he also knew that Rose's well being was at risk and that was all that mattered.

When he reached the hallway he found every door closed except for the loo. Since he hadn't bothered to learn the layout of her home a rush of frustration hit him and he began to open them all. Two doors later he only had one left and the distinct sound of tears was calling him through it. He found her in the dark, sitting against the far wall with her face buried in her hands and her knees to her chest. To his right was a bed so he assumed this to be her room he was entering. She still sniffled, to his dismay, despite obvious efforts not to as he knelt before her. He didn't speak because he didn't know what to say. His first instinct was to hold her, to tell her he was there for her, and it was stronger than he anticipated. Luckily she found her voice first.

"I'm sorry..." she sniveled, fingers gripping around her face.

"Why?" he asked strongly while openly allowing his eyes to wander over her. He was searching for a sign, some small indication of what was causing this but all he found was agony.

"Because I thought you didn't want me anymore, that you were giving me the shove off," she spluttered, stopping him in his tracks. He now was completely focused on her and the feelings she was emitting. "I was afraid that there was something I did... or didn't do that made you wish you'd traded companions and now... that gash on your chest..." She trailed off, body heaving with deep breaths. His eyes were filled to the brim with shock, wider than she'd ever made them go before and it was as if she was leaving him, taking away the only thing he needed. How could she think that? How? She was everything... she was the best... no one could ever replace her, didn't she know that? "I was so bloomin idiotic, Doctor," she cried, jerking her head up to face him. Their eyes met and he felt like something important had been ripped from inside him. "All you were trying to do was protect me and I reacted this way, I betrayed you," she rasped. She seemed so shocked by her own actions, so ashamed and at a loss. Something clicked in his mind and he began to put together necessary pieces to help her out of this, but first he had to calm her. Taking her face into his hands he drew her toward him gently, hoping to let her feel how close she was to him. She gazed back, reading his eyes with a stronger control.

"You didn't betray me, Rose," he almost whispered. "You didn't do anything. Something is making you behave like this and I'm going to figure out what it is, okay? Stop crying, please." He was almost begging her to be normal again, to stop this torture they both were going through and suddenly her lips were against his. He sat paralyzed against her, shocked and joyous in the same breath, but also furiously disappointed he couldn't enjoy it in the next. He pulled back. He had felt something hard and square brush against his finger when she moved toward him and now, he thought he knew the source of her erratic displays. Pushing her hair back he ignored the look on her face completely as he investigated behind the accused ear. Straightaway he withdrew his hand gripping a tiny metal square between his thumb and index finger that wasn't supposed to be there. Whatever she had been feeling before dissolved when she saw the offending object in his hand and the wrathful look on his face.

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Chapter 4: Whispers in the Dark The flat had just fallen silent when a scream sliced through the night air. In an instant he was on his feet, everything forgotten but one thought. He knew that scream, he knew the very pitch it struck and the terror flowing through his veins at the knowledge that she was in danger.

* * *

A/N: Another one bites the dust! lol Hope that wasn't too much of a cliff hanger :) 


	4. Whispers in the Dark

As We Go -- Chapter 4: Whispers in the Dark

A/N: This is my rant... since this is going to be a long chapter; I'm ranting about how stupid the Doctor Who people are! I am highly irritated with the Doctor Who writing staff... highly! They claim that "it's pretty much a love story without the shagging" and yet they have the Doctor clearly showing romantic inclinations toward Sarah Jane and WORSE all but loving the Pompadour woman. What happened to the Doctor and Rose? Why is he neglecting her? She mouths 'no' when Mickey asks to come along and yet he allows it anyway? AND not only is willing to lock himself in the 18th century for that pompous woman but also take her along? I'm beginning to be more inclined to the 9thdr/Rose... he had feelings for Rose that seem to have gotten lost! Grr... Maybe something's getting lost in the summaries I'm reading about the 10th doctor but gah-lee! I intend to load all my readers up with 10/R fluffy goodness, just cause that's the way it should be:-p

All at once it was as though she could think and feel for herself again, like all those heavy emotions she'd been carrying around all week were falling away and she could breathe freely. She no longer saw the point in being upset with Mickey at all or in assuming the Doctor's disloyalties to her. Not only that, she couldn't understand why she'd acted that way to begin with. Swiftly the memory of her lips holding his flashed before her eyes and she felt herself blush furiously. She'd kissed him! She'd kissed the Doctor and not only had it been the worst kiss she'd ever given but he had pulled away from her too. She didn't know what to do, what to say... How do you follow up something like that with words? He wasn't even looking at her at that second. She squirmed, watching him while anxiously wondering how he would react. He saw her run a nervous hand through her hair. "What the bloody hell is that? and what did it do to me?" she demanded distractingly.

"This," he started, placing the shape on the tip end of his index finger and ignoring the now present Jackie, "is what is known as a manipulator, my dear." He looked straight at Rose and with those words of endearment she let her concerns slide away. There'd be time for that later, this was immediately more important. Jackie flipped on the lights as she came in for a better view.

"A manipulator?" Rose asked, shifting to sit on her feet and looking closely at the square. He nodded, looking down his nose at it. He still hadn't lost those trace lines of anger in features yet.

"Yes a manipulator. Created by big business in the year 3343 the manipulator is an illegal chip specially designed to fit right behind the ear of humans and be easily concealable on any other species of alien who the need exists to use it upon," he glanced at his companion's curious expression and placed the shape in her hand.

"So this was behind Rose's ear?" queried Jackie, looking in closer. He nodded. "What's it do?"

"The manipulator is a form of brain control. It latches onto the nervous system of whatever it happens to be on and sends a continuing list of orders to the brain including hormone output levels, food intake, reaction time and perceptions." Rose lifted the tiny object into the light for a better view. It looked like the high tech chips they were always showing on television, the ones that were supposed to be so expensive and delicate.

"So what then, this thing's been controlling me?" she asked distantly, handing it to her mother. He watched it exchange hands with a serious expression on his face and stood.

"Quite the like actually, the manipulator works with emotions. It changes the balances of hormones within you and the reality of your perceptions to suit whatever emotion it is told to feed you and in so doing can control majoritively how you behave and what you think. Big businesses used it to 'improve company morale'. You can see how it became illegal," he explained. Rose and her mother got to their feet as well, Jackie handing over the item in question back to him.

"I'm a failure," Jackie whimpered, making both time travelers look at her. "I assumed you were sick, it never even occurred to me that you might be dealing with something not of this world," she said sadly.

"No, its okay mum," Rose promised, gripping her mother's hands.

"She's right. You don't do this sort of stuff daily, we do. Besides you never would've found it," the Doctor agreed, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. Jackie eyed him.

"Speakin of which... how exactly did you find it?" At this the Doctor seemed to blush and look around the room flustered.

"Well, you see... " he murmured, finally moving to leave when he couldn't find anything significant enough to distract her. Jackie, still curious, pursued and he found himself disliking the similarities between mother and daughter. "I sort of..."

"What's it matter mum? This thing was controlling me," Rose piped up. The Doctor glanced back to exchange a look with Rose as they entered the living room.

"You said Rose has had a hard week?" he asked Jackie.

"Yeah, she hasn't been sleeping and she's been growing grumpier by the day," she replied, directing the latter part at Rose specifically before adding: "I thought it was a side effect of not sleeping, not some chip." Rose smiled encouragingly at her and wrapped a loving arm around her shoulders this time.

"More likely the other way round," the Doctor pointed out. "The chip doesn't control sleep patterns." Pulling it back out of his pocket he contemplatively inspected it again. For a second there was awkward silence.

"But I'm going to be okay now? I'll be normal?" Rose finally asked. He looked up at her. It was obvious that she was worried, that she felt violated by the object in his hand.

"As normal as you've ever been," he smiled brilliantly. She rolled her eyes, grinning.

"Oh ha ha... should we keep it?"

"Yes," he replied, holding it away from her as though she were going to destroy it. "I want to run some tests on it, see where it came from and how it ended up here, on you, practically 1300 years before its invention. We can also see whatever it affected." He said the last part like the very idea would make her want to keep it as a trophy.

"Couldn't it have ended up on her while you were in the future? I imagine if any signals were sent to it, that'd it'd take some time to reach her... being as all the back and forth you two do," Jackie said. Both of the Doctor's eyebrows rose.

"It is very likely, yes," he seemed in awe. "I honestly didn't think of that."

"But we can find out what exactly it did to me?" Rose wondered. Jackie dropped down into a chair and let her head fall to her hands.

"Nope! Its brain has no memory of the instructions sent because it processes it into an action almost instantly. All it retains is the alterations made by the chip."

"So it can tell us how much hormones it changed? And what it did to my perception but not how those made me react?" she continued. This time he lifted only one eyebrow playfully before trotting off toward the door.

"Exactly. Just gotta run it through some system checks and --"

"Hold on a tic, do you have to do it tonight?" she questioned and he looked at her confused.

"Well no, but why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're wounded," she reminded him. "You need to rest a little or you'll never get better, I don't care how fast you heal," she threw in when he opened his mouth to object. He pouted at her. He wasn't surrendering to her, he told himself, just to his happiness to have her back to normal. Jackie chuckled as she headed back into the kitchen and he sat with his elbows to his knees.

"Does this mean you're going to nurse me back to health then?" he flirted. Rose came to his side. She tried to bite back her smile as she shoved him backward lightly, but he could clearly see it. She knelt in front of him again and gestured to him to take his shirt back off while began to prepare the alcohol.

It was quiet in the room after that with only the sounds of the Doctor sucking air through his teeth in pain and pans clicking in the kitchen to fill the silence. He was focused on her work and she was focused on him. She replayed the kiss in her mind. It stung slightly to know he pulled away from her, but she had to admit that it wasn't the most romantic thing they'd ever done. Still, she couldn't fight the urge to know how he felt about it. He'd turned red when Jackie brought it up seconds later and floundered for an excuse, very unlike him, but did that mean he like it or was he just embarrassed? She glanced up at the shuddering noise he was making. He pushed a grin at her, which she promptly returned. He was in pain and she was causing it, yet even then he was trying to encourage her that she was doing the right thing. It was a malevolent thing she'd seen him do with every good person to cross his path. He hugged freely, gave advice without restraint, and granted compassion to even his worst enemies. He's a great man, she thought with a sigh. He could never want her in the way she wanted him to; he was too good for that. He had all of time and space filled with options for his interests and though he'd chosen her for now, there were far better choices for the role of his romance. She could think of no real reason why some silly ape like her would stand out from the rest to him... no matter how much she realized she wanted to.

"Alright now, help me bandage it and we're through," she announced. He took a breath of relief as she reached for the gauge and covered them in topical ointment. "Here just hold this here," she muttered, placing it gently on his chest. "And this too... and lift your arms in the air." He did as told and she started to unwind the ace bandage around his chest. It proved difficult to do without getting too close, but she relished the opportunity to be so near to his otherwise excellent chest.

"So tell me," he started that one statement pregnant with several meanings. Her hands lost control for a brief minute as she nearly dropped the bandage.

"What's that?" she asked shyly. She knew he was going to bring up their kiss at some point, but she had hoped she'd have time to come up with an excuse at least. He was grinning wickedly at her.

"Why wouldn't you let me go get the sonic screwdriver? Don't get me wrong," his grin widened, "I like this option just fine but... it really would've been best to use some more advanced technology on something like this." Rose almost sighed in relief. Controlling her reactions carefully however she only shrugged and tossed him a glowing smile.

"Dunno... maybe I just needed to be doing something about it. I don't really know how to use some of your stuff yet and first aid is something I know pretty well."

"Ah, the old stone age medicine wins in a pinch."

"It isn't stone age," she retorted with pseudo exasperation, "it's 21st century. And I'll have you know it possibly just saved you from another regeneration."

"Well maybe it did," he agreed, letting her win when they both knew he was right.

"Dinner's ready," Jackie leaned over the counter. "How's it feel?"

"Not a bad job," the Doctor approved, patting it lightly for emphasis. Rose cleaned up the mess. "It'll work until I can get to the Tardis medical room."

"Good... well, c'mon then, it's all on the table," she replied, disappearing back into the kitchen. Rose smiled at him, her hand full of bloody cotton balls and gauge as she attempted to carry the first aid box back to the bathroom.

"Let me help," he said and reached for the box. She pulled away.

"No no, I got it. Go and eat, I'll be there in a minute," she assured. He watched her walk away the same way as he'd done before only now he felt a surge of anxiety. Things had definitely changed between them. Where the tension had always hung dormant and interesting, it now hovered dangerously, thrilling and chilling every nerve within him at her very glance. Between her and this wound he wasn't positive he could make it through the night alive... somehow he'd try. Slipping a newly cleaned undershirt on over his bandaged chest he caught a whiff of the soap used to clean it. It kind of reminded him of his favorite blond, only missing the sweet accent of her shampoo to give it flavor. He took a deep breath and put on his jacket next.

Together the three of them sat down to a roast chicken dinner with mashed potatoes, a varied assortment of greens, rolls and warm tea. He noted that it was one of those meals that intended to fill you up and put you to sleep. Somewhere along the line he smiled knowingly at Jackie and her back at him. Rose couldn't possibly have understood the relief that surrounded her. Having her back to normal pretty much meant having EVERYTHING back to normal. She was the common link, she was the cornerstone that kept them all standing... odd how he hadn't realized until then that she was so very important to them all, to him. After they ate Rose proposed a movie and talked him into watching it with them. It was a horribly nonspecific horror movie about aliens that seemed to push laughter out of them, as well as a few critical comments from him especially. Rose and Jackie's comments were more about the sad production quality and the lack of realism the 'victims' portrayed than the volatility of the particular species used as the bad guys. Jackie asked him a couple of times to not talk until the commercials, but she seemed more amused than annoyed.

Rose yawned and rested her head on her hand, propped heavily against the back of the couch. She was settled between her mom and him with her legs curled comfortably underneath her. "How unbelievable is that? Like she'd stand there and let the alien eat her!" she cried exasperated and he smiled warmly at her.

"Well that's 21st century entertainment for you," he answered. She yawned again.

"Rose will you stop all that yawnin!" Jackie belted.

"I'm sorry, I'm just getting sleepy."

"Well then go to bed! You need the sleep after the day you've had! In fact, we all do," she shrilled. In his 9th body her high pitched wailing had been severely grating and maddening, but after the whole ordeal with the sycorax and his regeneration he had developed an appreciation of her and even a sort of fondness. Of course, he also began to notice that she was often times more right than wrong in domestic affairs.

"She's right. That chip prevented you from sleeping properly so you should try and catch up as much as possible," he agreed. Rose shot him a 'not-you-too' glance as she stretched. She seemed to consider the idea though.

"Well since you're going to gang up on me," she half grinned.

"Right then, off to bed with us!" Jackie ordered, standing and shooing at Rose.

"Alright, alright. I agreed didn't I? Just let me get some blankets for the Doctor." He froze, eyes darting about in confusion. Why did she need to get him blankets? He always slept in the Tardis... He turned his head, staring at her as she went to the closet and pulled down a spare pillow and some sheets. "Sorry you can't have the guest room again; mum's got it filled to the brim with attic junk. Says she's going to get rid of it, but most of it's dad's so I doubt she'll do it," she smiled at him. "Well get up and let me fix your bed!" He conceded to standing, again staring at her as she tucked a sheet in over the cushions and fluffed his pillow. Why did he always sleep in the Tardis anyway? Sure it was safer for him, but not for her. Did she even realize that she hadn't asked him to stay tonight? She seemed to not care one bit what he wanted, just expected him to be close by. Honestly he wasn't too averse to complying... She finally laid out his blanket and turned to him. "All's set," she sighed. "Remember mum's on the right side of the hall and I'm to the left... don't want anymore 'strange man in the bedroom' repeats," she beamed. He goofily returned it and for a second they were held that way. It was slightly uncomfortable to just be staring at her when words would've been more appropriate, but there were no words to give.

"Good night," he finally managed.

"Good night," she replied, shifting nervously and barely meeting his gaze. She headed off to bed, leaving him with his thoughts. He sat back down in the same spot he'd occupied a moment before. So much had happened in this tiny holiday he'd given her that for the first time in decades he felt like he needed one. Maybe he could take one with her, after all she didn't really get one with that chip controlling her and they both needed a little recuperation. He found his hand unconsciously holding his stomach and recalled her reaction. She'd been almost astounded, like she believed it wasn't possible for him to get wounded like that and live... and that sadness in her eyes had practically choked him. Granted a lot of the trouble had been started by that damn chip, but he could've saved her the agony it brought by just fixing up the wound on the Tardis. What in the universe possessed him to keep going? Maybe he had a chip too. If they had caught her on their last mission together then they could've got him too. He felt behind both ears to no avail. Clean as a whistle. He sighed and leaned back, stretching out in the average male fashion. Some things all species shared and one such thing was the male tendency. Males tended to forget special events, males tended to like relaxation more than stress, and males tended to get carried away and do stupid things. Thinking logically in this fashion he discovered the root of his mistake and grumbled angrily at himself for being one sex over the other. If it had been Rose who was seriously injured and had all that alien technology lying around she would've patched herself up before meeting him, anyone woman would have. He didn't know if it was a lingering need to prove females as durable as males, which they had proved time and again, or if it was sheer mental dominance. Either way he ended up wrong and frustrated. He seriously wondered if he could regenerate into an a-sexual body.

The Doctor went to the lights and turned them off, switching on a small end table lamp next to the couch. He unbuttoned and pulled off his jacket, dropping it into the recliner before sitting to take off his shoes. He could still hear Jackie moving around, her minor bumps and bangs coming from the right side of the hall. Rose on the other hand was generally quieter despite the movement he could pick up from her side. All at once he found that bending to pull off his shoes was a bad idea as it constricted the majority of the gash on his chest and forced him into a standing position. He winced frighteningly as he dealt with the misery. That silly girl! If she had just let him go down to the Tardis he wouldn't be in pain! If she had just listened to him for once, ONCE, he wouldn't be ready to scream! But no, she had to do things her way. Forget the fact that he'd been around for 9 centuries and might know better than her! She was always running around like she knew everything... Doctor do this, Doctor help me, Doctor stop, Doctor you're being a jerk... like she even had the right to order him around! The very idea! A timelord bending to the whim of some silly human girl! Had his comrades been alive they would've run him through with their taunting! But they wouldn't have understood that Rose wasn't just some human girl. She was different, she was convincing and charming. There wasn't anything she could tell him that he didn't pay attention to or worse, do. He whimpered as the pain subsided and he sat back down. No, it wouldn't matter if other timelords teased him for his attraction to humans or his particular fondness of his blond companion. It wouldn't change a thing for him because he knew that life here with them was exponentially better than anywhere else in existence. He pouted as he realized how completely she'd worked her way under his skin and how little of an effort he was putting up to stop it.

The flat had just fallen silent when a scream sliced through the night air. In an instant he was on his feet, everything forgotten but one thought. He knew that scream, he knew the very pitch it struck and the terror flowing through his veins at the knowledge that she was in danger. He raced to Rose's door, now familiar after his earlier journey, and flung it open. Jackie was at his back in less than a second.  
This marked the second time she had been on the floor of her room in one night. A personal record. Rose looked up from her new seat on the carpet to see the Doctor in her doorway, his face etched with fear and rage. Her mum arrived two seconds later and simply gaped over his shoulder. She couldn't fight the blush that stained her cheeks.

"What in the world happened?" Jackie questioned. The Doctor's jaw had gone tight. It seemed he had no words angry enough to express his emotions on the situation.

"I- I thought I saw a face in the window," explained Rose, getting back to her feet, "but it was just my reflection. I'm sorry, it startled me." In truth that had been what happened. She had just put on her pajamas and was turning to flip off the lights when she glimpsed a face in the window. She'd been so shocked and frightened that it not only caused her to scream but to trip over herself and fall to the floor. Now her bottom hurt but she wasn't so scared. It hadn't even taken the Doctor fifteen seconds to be at her side and that in itself was comforting. She was so sure it had been a face though.

"Well don't scare us like that! I thought you were dyin in here!" Jackie scolded and Rose lowered her head ashamed. "Just like a teenager, honestly! All that travelin and she stills shrieks at her own reflection!" her mum added as she wandered back off to her room. Only she and the Doctor remained.

"I am sorry," Rose offered. It was visibly obvious when he let go of his anger. She watched the lines disappear around his jaw and his lips unclench. If only his older body had been so easy to read she never would've gotten him so mad at her.

"Just don't do it again... I think I pulled something," he replied to himself, tugging the door to a close as he adjusted his shoulder. She laughed at this and moved toward the bed. He was so silly sometimes it just spilled into her and residual giddiness lifted her mood. Nothing was too overwhelming with him around, she decided. She could conquer anything. She stopped mid-reach for her lamp at the sound of the door clicking open again. She watched but no one came in. It only cracked and stayed that way. Smiling to herself she guessed the Doctor must've preferred it open in case any threats arose during the night. At last she turned off the light and snuggled down into her covers.

After a while she tossed to the left. Not long after that she tossed to the right. There! That shadow! Did it just move? She froze solid where she lay. When it moved again she realized that it was leaves flying by her window and she tossed back to the left. She wasn't sure how long she'd been lying there like that. It seemed like the night had passed since the Doctor left her door ajar and yet it was still dark beyond her window. She simply was having difficulty shedding the thought that someone was outside waiting for her to fall asleep before pouncing. Perhaps it was the heavy aura of foreboding that encircled her heart and squeezed or the flashing image of the face she'd seen in the window that kept coming back to her that made the night feel longer. It hadn't really been a face. Well it looked like a face, all proportionate and all, but it had no eyes or mouth to speak of, just a nose. Rationally thinking it probably had been her own reflection she'd caught in the glass, but someone needed to tell that to her nerves. She couldn't have been more on edge if the fate of the world rested on her next heart beat. Tossing to the right again she looked at the clock who's illuminated numbers read 1:42 AM. Maybe a glass of warm milk would help? It always had when she was child.

Getting off the bed she trudged bare foot to the door. She had to be especially quiet with the creaks and groans of the flat, she hadn't quite forgotten how furious her mother could be when awoke by a needless noise in the middle of the night. For years she had perfected gliding down the hall with zero sound and now came the time to test her latent skills. Near Jackie's door she clung to the wall, hoping for extra firm floor boards not to crack and was rewarded with exactly that. At the end of the hall she looked up only to make eye contact with the Doctor's large brown orbs across the room. He must have turned to face her when he felt her presence in the room. He was still awake, still sitting up on the couch, still ever vigilant. She smiled weakly at him, the most she could muster through the murky fear she was trying to allude.

"You're still up?" she questioned softly. His face was unreadable against the dark cover of the room. Near the front door and by the kitchen blue lines of light were pouring to the floor from the street lamps outside, forming the only light in the room. It was oddly death like and calming at the same time, a mix she often found followed the Doctor.

"Yes, just thinking," he answered her hushed. She giggled and his expression became bewildered in a flash.

"You never do stop," she explained.

"Well, I do have to think for the both of us," he retorted rather loudly and she dove at him. Throwing one hand over his mouth and placing the other on the back of his neck to hold him still her eyes begged for silence.

"Shh!" she almost mouthed, quickly glancing back to the hall. She never saw the surprise on his face at her abrupt closeness. Satisfied that Jackie still lay sleeping she turned back to him and smiled when their eyes met. They'd been doing a lot of that lately. "Sorry, mum's a real light sleeper and she can be like a raging bull when she gets woke up," she whispered, removing her hand.

"Right... mental note, don't... wake...Jackie," he answered quietly. She grinned, moving around the couch to sit next to him. Here in this dark family room she felt at ease with the world, like nothing could touch her. She'd never been quite so close to him before. Maybe he had like the kiss they'd shared? She sat on her feet, leaning to rest her head on his shoulder and he adjusted to compensate for the height difference. This was something they had done from the beginning.

"Weren't you headed for something important?" he pointed out.

"I wanted a glass of milk, but it isn't important anymore." For a long second the quiet took them over. She had nothing to add to that without telling him more than she wanted to. Domestic was still not something he preferred. "What are you thinking that bothers you so bad?" she finally whispered. She felt him take a breath.

"Nothing in particular... and how would you know if it was bothering me anyway?" he replied in an almost incredulous tone. She couldn't help a small smile.

"You get this tiny wrinkle between your eyebrows when you think too hard," she whispered back.

"There's no such thing as thinking too hard," he stated, but lifted his hand to feel the mentioned area. She giggled again, taking in the feeling of him next to her. It'd been a week since she could be so close with him and she was happy that even after the whole... kiss thing she could still do it. She again fell quiet as she remembered the moment. Had he thought about it at all? How did he feel? The wind rustled the windows to make an eerie sound of moaning. She shivered involuntarily. She still couldn't shake the feeling that someone out there was waiting on her.

"What's your excuse?" he quietly wondered. She glanced up at him. "What's your excuse for being up so late after we sent you to bed?"

"Oh... just thinking," she lied.

"What about?" Did she really want him to know how she felt? The slight anxiety of being so close to him and thinking that every shadow wanted her? Did he really want to know where that chip had left her? She didn't want him to. She was afraid that if he knew the truth he'd find her too weak to travel with him but... she needed to talk about it. She absolutely had to sort some things out and who would understand better than her Doctor?

"The manipulator," she confessed at length. She wasn't sure but she thought she felt him tense under her cheek.

"What about it?"

"It was just - so weird... I keep remembering how it felt, how it was like... I was there, I was thinking those things, seeing those things, feeling those things and yet I was watching them too. I was standing back and judging everything I did and nothing was right, nothing I felt or thought was remotely right. I felt wrong... and not just a little wrong ya know? Not that kind of wrong where you know something isn't working but you don't know what, but more like I was speaking and it wasn't true, I was feeling and they weren't mine... I didn't instigate any of the thoughts I had and yet they were mine all the same," she whispered softly. He didn't respond, she was sure he didn't know how. What's the right answer to hearing someone explain their own confusion without understand how they're confused? "It was like a veil, like everything was filtered to make me think something and I wanted to think it... I wanted to be afraid, to tell you I hated you, to snap at Mickey, and to just sit - alone, away from the world, away from anything that provoke me. S'right depressing really."

"Those thoughts weren't yours Rose, I told you that. You were being fed thoughts, controlled to take them a certain way and then adjusted intensify them. The manipulator made you feel and think all those things. It's perfectly normal to fear what you don't understand."

"But I wasn't afraid of that," she cried, her voice hardly breaking a rasp. "I was afraid to lose you, afraid to lose the world I have with you, to lose myself... those feelings were mine Doctor, from wherever that chip pulled them from my brain they were still mine. Maybe I just didn't acknowledge it before"  
Perhaps hoping wasn't fair right now. To hope that she meant what she said and that her lips against his were real wasn't fair when she was spilling her heart to him. She was frightened of herself, frightened of him... that chip had left her feeling alone and used and if those really were her feelings he watched develop before him then she wasn't as composed as he always imagined her to be. Which actually suited her though; it made her human to be afraid, to predict the worst instead of aimlessly expecting the best. He'd forgotten how fragile humans were, how intricately their minds wove with their bodies. With humans you could never affect only one, never have only one, it was a package deal.

"I just... I feel so violated. I always imagined letting someone in but never what it would feel like to have them push their way in against my will... that chip did whatever the hell it felt like and I couldn't stop it," she shuddered.

"Oddly enough most people who experience it feel the same and human minds are so fragile, so delicately balanced that the slightest knock could send them careening off course. All of you are really like glass, you have to be careful with ever tap that's made or else the entire thing will crack and shatter. I should've realized it sooner; I haven't been fair with you. I haven't really planned what I would do without my glass Rose," he whispered solemnly. She sat up and stared at him hard, her eyes animatedly forcing his into submission.

"I don't want you to leave me, Doctor. I was trying to tell you before but that blasted chip wouldn't let me... I don't want to lose any of what I have now, none of it. The running for my life, the strange and dangerous aliens, the food, the sights, the Tardis, you... I wouldn't trade it for anything and it scares to me think that one day, rather you want to or not, you'll leave me..." He couldn't argue with her on that, one day he would have to leave her. He'd told her before that humans shrivel and die but he won't. One day he will have to walk away from her and that face that stopped the universe for him. Nevertheless, that didn't effect right now and the emotion she bravely voiced to him. He didn't answer, only acknowledge her meaning by wrapping an arm around her to make them more comfortable and pulled her back into him, careful not to let her lie against his wound. He rested his arm around her stomach, letting her head settle at his shoulder.

"I know," he finally sighed, "but it's always nice to hear."

"Well I mean it... I - like what we have," she whispered softly. He paused, gazing into the darkness of the room and all the shadows that the street lamps continued to create. It was going to be morning soon and there wouldn't be anymore whispering in the dead of night to keep Jackie from waking up. One day there wouldn't even be this much; he wouldn't have her to whisper with. The weight of her against would only be a memory because one day he'd have to replace her. Gallifrey! He didn't want to replace her; he didn't want to have to know that one day it would be just him again. With her he was different; he was at home just in a thought of her. She didn't seem to notice his tortured silence. Her breathing was slowing down and he could feel her relaxing into him.

"Rose, you're my companion, the one person I chose out of all existence to travel with me when I hadn't had anyone next to me in years. You're the only Rose in existence. There are no others like you. Why would I have any intention of leaving you unless I had absolutely not choice?" he smiled. He had wanted her to laugh or at least smile but as he looked down on her countenance he saw she took it to heart... just as good, he thought cheerily. She rubbed her cheek into his shoulder, letting his words stand for their worth. "And if that's all that's bothering you, you need to stop being so daft and fall asleep right this instant," he added sharply. At this he felt her chuckle gently and couldn't avoid joining in. "Ya know... sometimes you make me forget how alone I am," he added even softer, but she didn't reply. She didn't even flinch. He looked down over her again to find her eyes shut and her breathing low. She was fast asleep on him, nuzzled adorably into his shoulder and he grinned. Finally she would rest; she could recover from the day and let their conversation sink in. Part of him was glad she didn't hear his last little proclamation. The more he showed her he cared, the harder it would be to let her go later. He couldn't deny he loved her, that she made his very world spin with just a look, but what if the heartbreak destroyed them both when he had to say goodbye to her? What if he had to watch her die, leaving him alone that much longer... could he really live with himself knowing those were the options? Could he really let his little glass Rose go through all of that? Propping his chin on his right hand he settled comfortably into this new situation and let the dark thoughts of tomorrow play across his mind.

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A/N: whew that was a long one:) How'd you like? 


	5. Life Goes On

**As We Go**

disclaimer... I own nothing

_A/N I bet ya'll thought that was the end huh? NOooooo lol Just here to tie up the loose ends of what's happened so far. I added some fun stuff in here so hopefully it's not too boring lol. Also, this chapter will address more about the kiss... but not much. In response to the comment that several of you made about the Doctor having good enough sense/Rose having good enough sense to use the Tardis's medical lab... maybe. But I was going on the fact that the Doctor will do just about anything for Rose and how he'll do things the hard way just because it's more interesting or he forgets. Also I'd like to apologize to all of you who are still reading... this chapter was late because my computer crashed and I lost the next two chapters. I always try to write at least two chaps in advance but now I have to do some catching up. Also, the chapters are going to be much longer. I was going to keep them short but several of you positively responded to the longer chapters. Again, please tell me if I'm butchering the show. That's the last thing I want to do! Remember, I'm only nearing the end of the first season and majoritively picking it up as I go. Please don't forget to let me know how you liked the chapter, I love hearing from you guys!  
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**Chapter 5: Life Goes On

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It was nearing on eight o'clock in the morning when Jackie Tyler checked her watch again for the fourth time. She sipped at her daily coffee, sitting silently at the kitchen table and gazing blankly at the wall. Rose was normally up by now, even if she didn't want to be. She'd come trudging through the doorway in her pajamas and robe, grumbling about the hour and where breakfast was. She was almost twenty years old and hadn't yet learned that her mother detested making breakfast. A small smile grazed her lips at the memories. All that wasn't so anymore, she reminded herself. Rose was never there in the mornings, she was always with the Doctor. He got to deal with her dawn grumpiness now, not Jackie. She guessed she would always miss it though. A mother does feel the void when their child isn't there, no matter how often they visit or phone in.

A rustle of movement drew Jackie's eyes away from the pastel colors of her kitchen to the propped open door revealing the living room. She had pushed one of the chairs from the dinner table over to hold it so she could see the couple asleep on the couch from her coffee. There Rose and the Doctor slept, entangled adorably whilst they recovered from the day before in a deep slumber. Their body language, read in the positions they unconsciously took through the night, could've told an entire stranger the finer points of their relationship with one glance... much less the well aware Jackie. When she came in two hours earlier to find them snuggled contentedly on the sofa she had taken a picture of the rare display as evidence for the next time she argued with them over their status. Now that she looked at the freshly developed image on the table before her she second guessed her decision. Rose had her nose resting at the base of the Doctor's neck, peacefully clinging to him the way Jackie supposed she wanted to when she was awake, though vigilant even in her sleep not to harm his wounded chest. The Doctor on the other hand was more complex. With one arm he held Rose firmly, gripping her shoulder protectively and almost fearful that she might be taken away. With the other he supported his head in an obvious thinking position, pushing his cheek up into his right eye. His lips were curled up at the edges in a small smile he used while flaunting his knowledge to a dimmer species, but his eyebrows were furrowed together severely in anger or frustration, she couldn't tell which and she didn't want to. Something was clearly bothering him that wouldn't be ignored because itself showed only in sleep. Did Rose know about this? Did the Doctor even know about it? Did she really want to show it to them in a picture? She looked at her watch again. The tiny hands of the clock read 7:56 AM and the growing strength of the sunlight in the room confirmed it. In four minutes she would have to go and wake them up before she left, no matter how much she didn't want to. If she didn't Mickey was sure to come in and see them together and she didn't even want to imagine the hurt he'd feel. He was a good lad, honest and always giving it his best, but he just did not get that no matter what Rose said, she was completely and utterly in love with the Doctor and always would be... a mother knows.

Jackie looked at the picture again and smiled. When the Doctor had first come along and stolen Rose away she had been furious. In fact, on more than one occasion she had even slapped the man out of his senses, but things were different now. She had grown used to him and the lifestyle that came with him. His quirks and constant affiliation with danger that had once floored her into a heart attack now only startled and surprised her slightly. She guessed she was as accustomed to him as he'd ever allow her to be. It was nice to think she knew the Doctor well enough to believe that he'd never let anything happen to Rose. At the very least not intentionally. Of course why would he let anything happen to her? He was just as in love with her as she was with him and no one would convince her otherwise... two minutes till eight. Jackie sighed and took another sip of her coffee, letting the picture flop back onto the table. Perhaps she would ask the Doctor what was on his mind. It never hurt to ask and it might turn out that he needed to talk about it. If the need arose she would use the picture against them, but until then... Jackie stood, taking the picture with her to the other side of the room where multiple jars of flour and sugar sat on the counter. Opening the smallest one she dumped out several packets of sugar and slid the photo inside. With Rose never home and the Doctor's rejection of 'domestic' (as Rose put it), neither of them would ever think to look there so it would be safe until needed. Satisfied that it was hidden, she then tossed the sugar packets in the trash and aimed for the two time travelers on her couch.

"Mornin'! Calling all sleepy heads!" she announced loudly and came to stand beside them. The Doctor jerked upright in an instant, knocking Rose loose and away in his blind panic. His features were filled with fear.

"DOCTOR!" Rose screeched, holding tightly to him to keep from falling off the couch. In a flash he had a hold of her and was pulling her back up, his worry now focused on her. Rose offered him a weak smile as she settled next to him, his hand remaining with her arm.

"Sorry Rose," his voice cracked from lack of use. He looked over to Jackie with a half glare, blinking against the sleep in his eyes. "What is it? What's going on?" Rose, safe and stable next to him once again, looked at her too. They looked so comical just then, both of their faces twisted up in an effort to look serious and see through the lingering cloud of sleep they'd just been pushed out of. She didn't care if she had put them on high alert, it had been worth it. She couldn't fight the grin tugging at her lips and she didn't. Her face lit up with the most brilliant smile they had ever seen.

"You two are just adorable!" she cooed in delight. The Doctor glowered fiercely at her for such a wake up call when there was no urgent reason for it while Rose cocked her head to the side in pure bafflement.

"You woke us up like that for that?" she questioned. Jackie's hands went to her hips defiantly.

"No I woke you like that because I know you don't like wakin' up, Rose Tyler... so don't you take that tone with me!" she scolded. "Like I knew the Doctor was gonna throw you in the floor," she added. The Doctor's jaw dropped in dissent.

"I did not throw her in the floor," he defended.

"Did to, I saw ya," she shot back.

"You did kinda push me off," Rose agreed. He turned his defense against her, his eyes now holding a tiny hint of betrayal.

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!" she exclaimed. "You sat up and almost tossed me in the floor!"

"ALMOST! You just said it, almost. That means I nearly did but didn't," he reasoned. "Which means I'm right and you're wrong."

"Oh you're always right," Rose snipped sarcastically, pushing her wild tresses behind her ear as she turned away. The Doctor crossed his arms triumphantly. If Rose couldn't argue with him then Jackie definitely couldn't. He'd already won this one and it had barely started. He loved arguing with Rose first thing in the morning.

"Of course I am. Why do you think I'm the one that does the thinking for the both of us?" he joked. Rose turned back to him, an expression of laughter and disapproval mixing on her face.

"Cheeky," she smirked. Jackie just watched them with interest. Moments like these made her think of herself and Pete as a young couple, before Pete had played around with other girls and died. Of course the Doctor had already tortured Rose with his own version of those (dying first and then messing around with other girls later) but it didn't seem to affect them now. Rose seemed happy with him as he was and he the same with her.

"Ah but that's what you love about me," he smiled back, quirking his eyebrows flirtaously. If Jackie wasn't mistaken she could've swore she saw Rose blush just then.

"Yeah you're right," she laughed, leaning forward in her own flirtaous manner. For a second they just grinned at each other before the Doctor once more turned to face Jackie.

"So there's no danger then? Just enjoy watching us squirm?" he asked. She smiled and crossed her arms.

"You make it sound like a bad thing."

"Well technically it is. We're always on alert, you know that. Could've given us both a heart attack, well... gave me two seeing as I have two hearts… or would that be 3 heart attacks counting Rose's?" he chattered aimlessly. "We'll let it slide this time," he added more directly. Rose chuckled as she got up and headed toward the hallway.

"You're so generous," Jackie mocked. She too then turned to leave him.

"Is that tea I smell?" the Doctor piped. Nimbly he got to his feet and followed her into the kitchen, an enormous smile taking over his face despite the pain this action caused. He had almost forgotten he was wounded until then, but tea was worth it. Perhaps it was a side effect of his regeneration gone wrong but he positively worshipped tea, especially Jackie's... though Rose's was a very close second. Every time he'd get sick or injured or simply felt low Rose would fix him up a nice pot of it and they'd sit in the console room telling stories and reminiscing of past travels. Sometimes he couldn't decide what he liked more about that, being with Rose or sharing a moment of normality with someone who was just as non-normal as he was. By way of an answer Jackie handed him a mug and went to get the steaming pot off the stove. He smiled brilliantly at her, bouncing about like a child who was about to receive candy. She came back with the hot kettle in tow, a green towel wrapped around the handle so she wouldn't burn herself. She reached to hold onto his mug.

"Hold still, I can't pour it if you're movin' like that!" she snapped and he instantly quit bouncing. She filled his mug only half way, knowing it would take him a while to get through it since it was so hot.

"Mum! Where are the towels?" Rose's voice echoed from nowhere. The Doctor glanced to the doorway and sipped his scalding tea gently. He had halfway expected her to be standing there, but no one was around other than Jackie.

"They're in the spare room!" Jackie yelled back, settling the pot back on the oven top. The Doctor looked back at the doorway when clanging responded. "On the bed!" Jackie added.

"I don't see them!"

"Honestly! What do you need a towel for?" she demanded, sitting down at the table and her abandoned cup of coffee. The Doctor remained standing for the sake of his chest, silently listening to their loud conversation. Jackie seemed to prefer yelling from one end of the flat to the other than to talk face to face.

"I want to take a shower but there aren't any towels in the water closet!" Rose replied. Jackie's face scrunched up in confusion.

"But I put some in there yesterday! Did you check--"

"There aren't any in there!" Rose cut in sharply. "I just need a fresh towel, mum," she continued, her voice getting louder and softer at the same time. The Doctor turned as she came into the room. Thankfully she hadn't started to get undressed and was still in her rumpled pajamas. The Doctor sipped at his tea, quietly standing by the wall and watching them.

"But I know I put some clean ones in there... I washed the extra ones from storage Thursday and put them on the guest bed, but did you check the closet in the bathroom for the regular ones?" she asked. Rose's hand involuntarily found its way to her hip.

"No. That's only the first place a reasonable person would look," she retorted smoothly, sounding as though she were agreeing to be stupid. The Doctor smiled at her nearly perfected sarcasm. He'd been getting to arguments with her for weeks now, attempting to teach her his flawless method of insulting someone without them realizing they were insulted; and it seemed to be paying off. Jackie, however, saw straight through it and glared at her daughter.

"They're next to the basket of things to be ironed... on the left." Rose perked an eyebrow at her in irritation. "Oh I'll show you!" she finally barked and shoved away from the table. "Sugar's on the counter," she tossed over her shoulder as she moved toward Rose.

"That's alright; I prefer it pure this morning."

"Suit yourself," she shrugged and shoved Rose the rest of the way out of the room. He listened to them bicker their way down the hall and smiled to himself. Just like old times, back when he'd first met her... only Jackie wasn't hitting on him. He wondered why vaguely. Rose clearly preferred his tenth form in appearance so why not her mother? He headed out of the kitchen as he thought. Jackie had clearly liked his ninth form and yet said nothing of his tenth... or maybe she did and he was unconscious when it happened. He paused in the family room, looking about at the things he'd seen so many times before. The old television, the tattered couch with sheets wrapped around it, the potted plants... all very domestic and all growing on him rather unwelcomely. It wasn't like he wanted Jackie to find him attractive. Honestly he didn't care, but he was curious as to why she didn't show a reaction. He wandered to the front door and aimlessly held it open to the morning breeze. Not too cool and not too warm with just a sprinkle of water in the air. It was going to rain probably. That was more than likely why the normally bustling street they lived on was now moving at a crawl. Everyone seemed to be locked up in bed, where he would have preferred to stay if he'd had the choice. He sighed, grunting at the tinge of pain he felt in his chest as shoved one hand into the pockets of his pajamas. All at once the thought hit him: Rose had probably prevented her mother from saying anything! Of course! It made perfect sense. Rose was terribly selfish with him and lately he'd only made it worse by flaunting in her face that he could have other women if he wanted them. Any loving mother would keep herself in check under those conditions. He felt another tinge of pain as he thought about it. He'd really hurt her. In his attempts to free himself from the fear and anticipation of losing her or finding out she didn't return his feelings, he had done the worst possible thing he could do, he rejected her. Now that by itself could've been mended but his rejection had almost cost him her friendship, companionship and worse, any chance of more. Luckily he underestimated her and they were still together, though as what he couldn't be sure. The kiss from last night could've meant what he wanted it to mean, it could've meant what he'd been bleeding for it to mean... it could've meant that she wanted him too. He replayed the kiss in his mind. Not the best, but thrilling all the same. If only it were real, if only it was included in her declaration the night before about how those were her true feelings pulled from obscurity. That damn chip... if he ever got a hold on whoever put it on her he'd kill them.

"What you doin out here?" He turned to see Jackie come up beside him and smiled.

"Just thinking," he answered and sipped at his tea. "Thanks for this by the way." He held out his mug and smiled at her. She instinctively saw through that ill made mask he'd thrown up because it was the same one she watched him create hundreds of times when Rose came home. It was shielding others from seeing his pain, from knowing he really was humanoid.

"You're welcome," she muttered. Together they faced the street, uncertain of where to go from there. They hadn't really had many conversations and almost all of them involved Rose in some way or another. Inevitably it returned to that. "She's in the shower now."

"Found a clean towel?"

"Yeah." Jackie crossed her arms against the breeze. "Had to get one outta the guest room... sorry you couldn't have it last night."

"S'alright. Made it along fine on the couch," he replied solemnly.

"I'm sure you did what with Rose all snuggled up into ya," she smiled and when he made no move to smile back she added, "but see, funny thing. When I found you two this morning you didn't look fine. You looked serious... almost sad like. Almost as if somethin were on your mind?" He looked to her, distant eyes unwavering from her sympathetic ones as he held his tea against his chest for the warmth. She was asking him a question without pretending she didn't already know the answer, without pretending she didn't care. What was she up to? Why did she look so open to anything he might say?

"I've been told I look like that when I'm sleeping," he responded flatly, eyes returning to the road. Hers however stayed glued to him, scanning every crease in his face with painstaking maternal intuition.

"I've seen you when you sleep Doctor. I've sat at your bedside and watched over you until I couldn't watch a single thing more and that is not how you look when you sleep," she retorted softly. "What were you thinking about just now? What in the world could be worth such sadness?" He didn't answer her, just watched the cars whiz by without any real interest. She wasn't sure what to say next or what to do if anything. He was just standing there acting like nothing had been said at all with his hair flying about in the wind. She only wondered for a second if he'd even heard her.

"Rose."

"What?" she questioned, face curling up in confusion. He looked at her exasperated, the mask of indifference quickly slipping away as he agreed to share the thoughts that had been tormenting him for months.

"Rose. I was thinking about Rose," he snapped.

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't really expect you to answer I guess," she muttered innocently. His lips twitched guiltily and he averted his eyes. "What about Rose? Is she well? Did that chip do something to her? Is she sad?"

"I don't know..."

"What do you mean you don't know?" she cried frightened.

"No no. She's fine... I just don't know if she's happy... with me," he explained. "I mean she goes wherever I go, she does whatever I ask of her and she lives on the brink of insanity every day of her life when she doesn't have to. I mean she's all but declared that she wants me to show her everything and tell her how! But... is it what she wants? Is she truly happy with that sort of life or is she doing it to protect me?"

"Protect you from what? Seems like you do most of the protectin'."

"From loneliness I suppose..."

"Ah, I see. Big mister time lord actually considers someone else's feelings for a change and still gets to think about himself?" she taunted and he glared at her for turning his fears into a joke. "Listen, I know my Rose, Doctor. There's a lot of things she would do to make someone happy and giving up her life... it isn't one of them." His scowl dropped away, giving in to a blank stare of astonishment. "I mean think about it really. Why would Rose uproot her entire life just to keep you from feeling lonesome?"

"I - I don't know," he frowned, lower lip extending in a genuine pout. Jackie Tyler, the most annoying and busybodiest human he'd ever had the honor of meeting had just presented him with a real question, one he hadn't even thought of!

"Because she wants to," she warmly pointed out, grinning kindly at him. "Now why would she be sad if she's doing something she wants to do?... You see, that's why I don't try to stop her. She's grown; she knows what makes her happy and what doesn't. Even if it hurts me I know she's happier with you and that in itself makes me happy. Its how life moves on Doctor, I'm surprised you didn't know that."

"Me too," he retorted grumpily and took a big swallow of his tea. How had he not considered that? Of all the times he had thought about it, studied Rose's reactions, and added things up, how had he never looked at it that way? "I just don't know if I can do it."

"Do what?"

"Let life move on when I know where it's going to end up..."

"I'm gonna choose to ignore what you could be saying..." she whimpered and he half grinned. Poor Jackie hated to think of the end, to think of not having Rose or of dying and who could blame her? She was happy with what she had.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"But you can't know for sure where anything'll end up, can you? I mean even if you have a time machine... you could always go back and accidentally change things to where you never met Rose in the first place and then this wouldn't even be a problem." She didn't know how wrong she was, that it was always the same for every one of his companions. They wither and die and he's left alone again. Rose was different but she simply could not be that different. He was still left with a problem - could he let his feelings for Rose actually exist if it meant they would possibly kill her in the future and mean even greater heart ache for him? It wasn't a risk he was tempted to make.

"How exactly did you get to know so much?" he asked smiling.

"Just trust me. You've got all of time and space before you and you don't want to live it with regrets. Rose obviously doesn't or she never woulda jumped onto that crazy ship of yours!"

"Tardis, it has a name. Tardis. Call it the Tardis," he groaned. Jackie's jaw dropped in complete bafflement. Here she was trying to help the Doctor and in the process help Rose, and all he could do was nit pick at her! She knew the name of the damn thing and she didn't need him correcting her.

"Fine! The bleeding Tardis! Ya happy?" she whined, tossing her hands in the air and heading back into the flat. "See if I ever try to help you again," she muttered angrily. The Doctor smiled gloriously to himself. She really was a great woman under her mouthy exterior. She'd probably never know how much peace of mind she'd just given him or how content he felt with just being there. The fact that she had reached out to him, to help him even when he didn't want her help... well it meant a lot to him. And though he still questioned what exactly he felt for Rose and what it meant to them, he now understood where he'd gotten lost. Somewhere along the way he had drowned in his own worries. Things like how does she feel, is she happy, is he getting too close to her, is he becoming domestic, they had all consumed him. Suddenly all he could see was worry and choices weren't as clear. It was no wonder he had invited Mickey to travel with them as a way of distraction and even less of a wonder that he had allowed himself feelings for the Madame de Pompadour in the belief that she could erase his feelings for Rose. He knew better than that now. Even when he was alone with the woman he had tried to love instead all he could think of was his Rose and how deserted he felt without her. He had stopped seeing the beauty of life in an instant and started feeling the pull of sadness from a future that had yet to even happen.

"Yes I am happy," he called after her. "And Jackie," she stopped and turned to him, "thank you for your help." With that he looked back to the street and sipped his tea. He didn't see Jackie smile happily nor did he need to. He had decided, even if Rose didn't care for him the way he cared for her or she couldn't be with him forever, he had her now and just the chance to hold her hand tightly when they walked was enough for him to risk everything. He couldn't explain it, there was just something special about that girl that drove him mad. He grinned cheekily. Rose must mean more to him than he thought she had. No one else had ever changed his entire way of thinking repeatedly just so he could protect them. Perhaps it wasn't so absurd to hope she could love him, to hope that kiss they shared was real, to hope she'd never leave him. Hoping never hurt anyone...

He eventually found himself back in the flat, standing behind the sofa while he watched the morning news with a fresh cuppa. He hadn't bothered to change into his suit yet, he was still fighting off a powerful desire to go back to sleep and not wake up in pain. Though this was no longer an option as Jackie was currently folding up his bed things to put away. The only thing consoling him was the lack of pain he'd felt so far this morning. It had become little more than a dull roar of what it had been the night before and that was good enough until he could get to the Tardis.

"Much better," Rose piped cheerily as she came in to join them. Showers were her patented way of revitalizing herself for another day and it seemed they had worked their magic yet again. She was now wearing a strikingly pink top that hung off one shoulder and old blue jeans with holes in the knees, her hair up high in a loose ponytail. He smiled at her, doing his best to avoid noticing precisely how much curve he could take in with one look. Jackie glanced up at her, mid-fold.

"What you all dressed up for?" she questioned.

"Carnival today with Mickey, remember? You suggested it," replied Rose. Jackie paused to recall the conversation in question and nodded approvingly when she did.

"So I did! You two need to have some fun!" she muttered and dropped a pillow on top of the stack of sheets she had created on the coffee table. "After the week you've had." Finally finished with the sheets and blankets that had been the Doctor's bed she began to fluff up the couch cushions.

"What you all dressed up for?" Rose shot back.

"Work. Gotta actually do some if I plan to pay rent," she grumbled. "But you wouldn't understand that. You two don't even have jobs!" The Doctor grinned goofily over the rim of his mug at Rose and she grinned back knowingly at him. If Jackie knew the true amount of work they did in a day she might decided drop dead from sympathy exhaustion.

"Unless you count saving the world," corrected the Doctor. Jackie looked back at him, gripping a couch cushion dangerously as she glared.

"And I don't!" she snapped, tossing it back onto the couch. She didn't need to be reminded of the hazards Rose encountered while away from home. She'd gotten first hand glimpses of it more often than she wanted... on several occasions. Rose laughed and walked over to the coffee table to pick up the pile.

"Here, I'll put these up, oh laborious one," she said, intentionally trying to harass the anger from her mother. It'd been two years since she'd chosen a life with the Doctor and still, it was their touchiest topic to date.

"What d'you mean by that? Don't think I don't know what laborious means!" Jackie growled as Rose headed to the hall closet with the heap of fabric. "I had to go through it the day you were born and every day since!" she shrilled, hands on her hips defiantly. Comments like those were making her believe Rose was getting too big for her britches and needed a reality check. Which she would gladly have given had the telephone not just started to ring so distractingly. As she rushed off to answer it Rose came back in, stopping at the doorway, her hands in her back pockets.

"What?" asked the Doctor, uncertain about the soft smile on her face.

"You should probably go get changed," she replied.

"Why? You don't like me in my jimjams?" he flirted.

"No," she blushed, "that's not it. It's just... Mickey's going to be over soon."

"Mickey doesn't like me in my jimjams?" he repeated hurt. Rose laughed at him.

"Just go change!" she cried out, gesturing toward the bathroom. Jackie reentered the room, a hunk of plastic with an antenna stuck to her ear as she flittered between them.

"I know Bev! I'm on mah way... Yeah... Just trying to get things settled here," she chattered. The Doctor looked at Rose intently over her mother.

"Don't have to tell me twice," he blanched. He always did dislike the gossipy, chicken like mannerisms Jackie normally displayed and he always would, no matter how benevolent she acted. It was exactly that kind of small minded behavior that would lead the world to its end if it weren't for people like him and Rose. In fact, people like Jackie probably wouldn't even notice until their phones went dead. He set down his mug on the coffee table and grabbed his suit and shoes to take with him. Rose grinned as he passed her. It was her fond way of saying thank you when he conceded to doing things her way without arguing; it was definitely something that went on just between them. Though when she thought on it, there were a lot of things that went on just between them.

"Rose would you please help me clean up? Howard's coming over tonight and -- I know Bev... I'm talking to Rose!... I'm coming!" Jackie cried into the phone. Rose picked up some old magazines from the living room table as asked, watching her mother argue helplessly. "Alright! I'm on mah way!" she finally snapped and hung up the phone. "That was Bev. Says if I'm late one more time I won't have anything to be late to..." she informed as she grabbed the things she had collected earlier. "But what was I saying? Oh yeah, what am I supposed to say to my boss if I were to get there late? Sorry I'm late coming off of my vacation but my daughter was back from time/space for a visit and I wanted to make sure I spent time with her because she may not come back again?" she added, pulling on her coat. "I think I know better than to be late!"

"Mum..."

"Oh I know! You're going to come back, but you aren't sure of that and that last time with the Tardis... well Mickey and I both thought you were dead!" She flung the door open, snatching her pocketbook and keys from the small table next to it. "But I love ya and please don't leave without at least calling me," she begged. Behind her Mickey appeared in the doorway and smiled lightly.

"I won't mum, promise this time," Rose nodded. Jackie blew her a kiss and headed out the door.

"Morning Mickey!"

"Morning Jackie," he laughed as she rushed by and he came into the flat. He closed the door. "And good morning to you, Rose," he grinned. She came toward him for a quick kiss before letting him take off his coat. "Cold out there," he shivered and she giggled. "What you up to?"

"Just cleaning up. Mum says Howard's coming over tonight, I guess she wants me to meet him or something," she answered and took the magazines into the kitchen to throw away.

"Need some help?" he called to her.

"Yeah, that'd be great," she called back. Instinctively he went to clear the dishes off the coffee table where there was a freshly used mug, two not so fresh ones, and a paper plate covered in what looked like pie. Rose came back and started to straighten the curtains and potted plants that had been knocked askew at some point during the week. In their wake were several clumps of potting soil so she grabbed a dustpan and broom.

"So where were you last night?" Mickey asked from the kitchen door.

"What d'you mean?" she grunted, bent over the carpet. He knelt on his haunches at her feet and held the dustpan for her. She was really kind of surprised at how good of a mood he was in. Normally he came over sulking, but today his voice carried everything as though it was a joke and it was reminiscent of what she'd fallen in love with before.

"Well you weren't at my place so I figured you must've had something better to do," he shrugged. Rose paused, looking at him intently as she thought.

"Oh my god! I was supposed to go over to your place! Mickey I'm so sorry!" she whimpered. Again he shrugged, taking the broom from her hand and finishing up with the pile of dirt she'd created.

"S'alright. Figured you were safe and probably off with the Doctor somewhere," he retorted. She was sure he had no idea how much that statement had just stung her or else he wouldn't have said it. It felt like someone had just slapped her smartly on the back or kicked the wind out of her. He wasn't worried about her at all. He hadn't even tried to call when she didn't show up, he'd just expected her not to show and that was what hurt the most. Lifting the dustpan he carried it carefully into the kitchen with her hot on his heels.

"It wasn't that Mickey... if it hadn't been for this chip the Doctor found I would've been there," she assured. He tossed the dirt in the trash and headed to put away the dustpan.

"What chip?" he asked curiously. She split from him and ran over to the Doctor's trench coat draped across the recliner to dig through its pockets. He came to stand behind her.

"This little chip," she started and finally producing the metal square dropped it into his hand, "was attached to my head. It was supposed to be like controlling my emotions or something of the sort... The Doctor explained it all last night, but I was bit out of it needless to say."

"So... this little thing was what was making you act so bizarre?" he teased. Shocked into laughter she swatted at him playfully before admitting:

"Yeah."

"I knew something was up," he said triumphantly, "I knew I knew you better than that! I was beginning to think you'd been taken over or something, what with the way you were acting. I even started to carry around pickle juice everywhere I went," he laughed. She beamed at his reference to the slitheens that had caused them so much trouble before. He seemed to really have gotten the hang of all this alien stuff at last.

"Mum had no clue," she giggled.

"Does she normally?" he replied and they both laughed.

"Does who normally?" queried the Doctor as he entered the room. He was now in his striped suit again, his converse all stars tied up nicely and his hair brushed. Rose smiled at him to hide her interest in how he looked while Mickey's joke still lingered on her face.

"Oh we were just talking about how Rose's mum normally hasn't a clue," Mickey replied simply and both men burst into laughter.

"Hey hey! Come on now, be nice... both of ya!" she scolded, her grin getting wider in spite of her efforts. She was her mum after all and someone had to defend her. The Doctor's face quickly altered to apologetic and seriousness, making Rose and Mickey giggled harder.

"So -- so now that the chip's off of you, does it have any side effects?" Mickey tittered, calming himself enough to hand the chip back to Rose. Te Doctor crossed his arms and rocked backward in thought, cringing when his chest protested.

"There shouldn't be... but we'll know better once we've had a chance to scan the bugger," he said wickedly, eyeing the chip with an evil glint in his eye that Rose identified as calculate mayhem... his specialty.

"When are you going to do that?" Mickey wondered.

"Now if ya like," was the indifferent answer.

"Hold it! Not that I don't want to know what was going on in my own head, but... the carnival," she reminded them. The last thing she needed was to forget about Mickey again for something with the Doctor. So long as the chip wasn't hurting anyone, it could wait if Mickey wanted her attention then.

"Oh. It stormed pretty bad last night and since they were calling for more today the park closed," replied Mickey, brushing it off as efficiently as Rose always did with him. "Besides, I'm kinda interested in this chip thing and how much of a zombie you actually were while you were here," he added.

"No more than the rest of you," commented the Doctor smugly. "So it's settled then? Off to the Tardis!" he announced, pointing ahead as he walked toward the door. Rose and Mickey grabbed hands, smiling happily as they followed him out of the flat and across the concrete courtyard.

"I was kind of counting on doing something on my last day home," Rose pouted to Mickey as they walked. He grinned at her, glancing at the Doctor's back and then to her again. He loved the idea of just the two of them, knowing that it would grate the Doctor's nerves if they went, but also knew how much Rose loved the Doctor's company.

"We could always do breakfast or something, ya know, after we look at the chip," he suggested. "The Doctor can even come if he likes."

"Well Mickey! Never did I think I'd see the day where you'd wish to dine with me!" piped the Doctor cheerily. "Maybe we'll leave Rose behind?" he added, turning to walk backward. When her jaw dropped with hurt he grinned the grin he reserved especially for her, the one that held fondness and wanting and loyalty that he'd never show anyone else as long as she was alive. It seemed to do the trick because she stuck out her tongue to show him her dislike of his joke and then smiled back. "Settled then. Breakfast! After I get fixed up and we scan that chip," he said, turning back to walk right. Inwardly Rose felt like glowing with happiness despite her leftover exhaustion. Things were finally getting back to normal for her and the Doctor. Sure he was still wounded and she was still tired, but essentially they had gotten past his lies, gotten rid of the manipulator chip, and reconciled most of her chaotic emotions nicely. She had expressed her attachment to him, he had returned it. She had spoken of her fear, he had dismissed it. She had fixed him up, asking minimal questions about his mystery trip and he had let her. She still wanted to know more about this Correll person and what dangerous games they had been playing for the Doctor to be so seriously wounded and the Tardis to look so sad. And she wanted to know why he had deemed the mission too risky for her and yet not told her so flat out. He did plenty of things he didn't want her doing, but every other time he'd told her about them. Most of all, she was elated with his response to the kiss she'd given him in the dark of her room last night. He had graciously let it drop, not even hinting at it with a raised brow, but how long could that last before he started questioning her on it? How long could she really go without hearing "so, about that kiss" in some cramped corner where she couldn't get away? He loved to tease her on things like this so she suspected it wouldn't be much longer. He'd probably wait until they were alone again on the Tardis and she had to depend on him for everything like before. Heaven knew she was dreading it already, the very thought making her nerves raw with premature anxiety. Maybe that was why he hadn't said anything. Maybe he thought it'd be more fun to watch her writhe... or maybe... The thought was more heartbreaking than if he'd yelled at her. What if he hadn't liked it all and wasn't even amused with her display? What if she had put him off completely by shoving herself on him? What did it even mean? Why did she do it and why did it even matter how he felt about it? He'd already said that it wasn't her, it was the chip, and if she needed to she could say that it actually had been the chip, but... would he believe her? Would she believe herself? She gripped Mickey's hand to ground herself. She could feel her good mood slowly slipping away.

The Tardis rumbled happily when Rose set foot on the grated floor. A grand feeling of being welcomed home flooded her and her good mood was strengthened. Ever since she had shared a soul with the Tardis it had been much more affectionate with her. Even Mickey took note of it as he smiled at her. "Good ole Tardis," she whispered with a grin and lightly touched the wall next to her. Meanwhile the Doctor was racing about the console room, his face twisted up in irritation.

"Where is the blasted thing!" he barked. His eyes rove to meet hers and she unconsciously let Mickey's hand drop.

"What?" she innocently questioned. He began digging through the pockets in his suit and coat…

"The sonic screwdriver... You and I were the last ones in here. Do you -- oh lookit! I've been searching for this for ages!" he suddenly cheered, pulling out a small book.

"What is it?" she asked, eyeing it as he laid it on the console disinterested.

"It's an instruction manual for the screwdriver! s'kinda pointless now though seeing as I've changed the thing so much," he replied, still digging. Mickey lifted the novel. "AH! I remember, my bedroom!" he wailed, taking off at a run for the screwdriver. Rose's laughter filled the room only to die out into a comfortable silence as she and Mickey awaited his return. Moments later he came bouncing back in to stand beside her, smiling like no tomorrow.

"Well don't you look happy?" she grinned.

"Course I am. I'm all better now, no more nasty cuts to clean," he answered playfully and leaned in closer, a curious look in his eye. It was almost like the first time he'd looked at her through those eyes, thrilling.

"So you're all better then?" she asked jubilantly and whacked his chest with the back of her hand. He stopped himself from doubling over, but his face twisted up in agony. "Oh my god! You aren't better! I just hit your wound didn't I?" she screeched, jerking round to grip his arms.

"Wound? What wound?" Mickey whined in response as he too had come to the rescue, dropping the screwdriver's instruction manual. The Doctor took several steadying breaths and swallowed hard before he righted himself, refusing either of their aid. Whatever look of sorrow Rose's face held right at that moment she deserved, he thought bitterly.

"He got this -- gash on his chest and it was bleeding horribly yesterday," Rose's voice quivered.

"Yesterday? Are you alright? Is he alright? Why wasn't I invited along on the mission?" Both time travelers stopped and stared at him confused.

"You would want to go wherever it was he got cut up?" Rose asked dumbfounded. Mickey shrugged defensively. "Well anyway, he didn't get it here. Got it when he was on his own," she explained vehemently, the regret for hitting him subsiding. The Doctor locked eyes with her sternly, the last bits of pain fading as he took more shallow breaths.

"Before you hit me - I was going to say 'not completely'. I'm not completely healed!" he said. He then lifted up his shirts and suit jacket to reveal a decent string of bruises where his laceration had been. "The sonic screwdriver did what it can, but because I let it go for so long its going to be bruised for a couple of days," he added, quirking an eyebrow at her.

"Oh yeah, blame it on me," she said tartly, hands on her hips. "Why didn't it heal you completely? I thought it was good for everything?"

"Well it's not a nanogene, Rose. It can't do EVERYTHING no matter how many functions I program it with. But its good enough," he returned, jerking his shirts down and then whimpering at the pain it caused. Rose giggled and their row was over.

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**A/N:** also check out the song "Murderer" by Rihanna. It's the perfect theme for Mickey and Rose. Mickey will be missed! I might not have enjoyed him as Rose's boyfriend but I liked him:( Oh well, we may see him again. AND two songs that just suit Rose/Dr would be Tarzan's "strangers like me" and Aladdin's "a whole new world"... just thought you might wanna know... please remember to review if you liked it cause if people don't like it, it will go away :( 


	6. Into the Night

**As We Go**

**Chapter 6: Into the Night**

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: As always thanks for reading. I do want to let everyone know I have not forgotten the kiss and it will be approached by the Dr and Rose in a conversation very soon... but I can't tell you when exactly. It'll be worth the wait though, at least I hope! lol Anyway, here's the next chapter. I'm not too proud of it. It just doesn't feel like I did a good job, but here it is.

_SHOUTOUTS: to rosetylerrox (wave your comment rox lol), Tai (hi!), the Dr's 10th companion, insert witty name here, beth-taurichick, KatmuEllon, Oystiee, bookEnd (I like yours too!), storm-fox8, and Kate. You guys are awesome! I'll do my best!

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"Error... What does it mean Error?" 

"It means there was an error while scanning the chip... How do you know what it says? It's in Gallifreyan," the Doctor asked curiously. Rose shrugged. She was leant over his right shoulder reading the screen as he did and when he turned to look at her their faces were fretfully close. Memories of the night before flashed through their minds at light speed. Rose was sure that if Mickey hadn't been watching just now something would have happened.

"Well the stuff's all over the place... I just... figured that's what it said," she cowed.

"Rose Tyler, you are one of a kind," he informed and grinned adoringly at her. Every time he thought he had her figured out she did something like this to prove him wrong and leave him guessing. He fondly tapped the end of her nose with his finger before going back to the screen.

"But what does that mean? The Tardis can't scan it?" asked Mickey.

"The Tardis can scan anything, Rickey the Idiot," the Doctor snapped. He pressed a few more buttons, watching the screen intensely.

"If it can do it then why does it say Error?" Mickey shot back. The Doctor didn't respond immediately but Rose saw the muscles in his shoulders tense as he kept his control.

"I don't know. It's never said that before," replied the Doctor sharply. He pulled a lever.

"Do you think it's serious? Is something wrong with the Tardis?" asked Rose worriedly. He glanced up at her, his expression changing only slightly at the concern on her face.

"She was pretty banged up the last time I went off into space," he reminded, "but she got me here just fine... I don't understand..." Rose looked around at the Tardis once again. She was surprised he'd even made it back to her alive given the condition the ship was in. Any number of things could be going wrong to cause the malfunction. "This'll take some figuring out. There's no telling what's gone wrong," he finally sighed.

"How long do you think it'll take?" she asked. The Doctor turned around to lean against the console and crossed his arms as he considered it. This could be a great time to get some work done on the Tardis. He could patch up the walls, do some rewiring, think about Rose... Of course the Tardis was important, but he just couldn't seem to dislodge the questions Jackie had given him from his mind. He still had a lot of thinking to do on exactly how he felt and what to do about it. He couldn't keep going the way he had, fearing the future. He was a time lord and should know better. Plus with Mickey and Rose out of the way he could get a lot more work done with a lot less distraction.

"No clue," he grinned. "Why don't you two go ahead without me and get some breakfast, eh? Fill up your stomachs with some nice food?"

"What about you? Aren't you hungry?" wondered Mickey.

"No, I'm fine. The Tardis'll feed me if I get hungry and besides there's too much work to be done here for me to be taking a break," he assured. Rose fiddled with her fingers reluctantly.

"I'll stay and help. You can't do all this on your own," she smiled and Mickey's jaw dropped. The Doctor could tell that she had wanted him to go, to not single himself out like this, but he had to have the time alone. She would simply have to spend some time with her boyfriend, no matter how much he'd rather her not.

"Rose, I've been fixing the Tardis for over 300 hundred years without any help and I can do it again today... though it might take a while longer than usual," he admitted, looking about the room. "But that's not important! Just means there'll be plenty of work for you to do when you get back!" he cheered, pushing off the console and tossing an arm around Mickey and Rose. He guided them to the Tardis door with a bright smile. "Now off ya go! Breakfast for two! And you'd better not hurry back on my account young lady," he warned. Rose giggled as he shoved them out the door and she had to grip onto Mickey for balance.

"And Derrik's lookin at this car right, not even sure if it's the muffler or his ears!" Mickey chuckled and shoved a fork full of pancakes into his mouth. Rose giggled. She had ordered her favorite hash rounds (an early morning version of chips) with a side of eggs and bacon and orange juice to wash it down but it hadn't really been touched much. She was too distracted by the humorous story Mickey was telling and the atmosphere of her favorite breakfast place, Martin's. It'd been a long time since she and Mickey had had such a carefree conversation without worry. Part of her assumed that it was because the Doctor was near and if anything happened he'd grab her and go. "You want a to-go bag?" mumbled Mickey. She smiled as he scrutinized her plate suggestively. "You didn't already eat breakfast did you? Normally you're starvin'."

"No no, I'm good. Had a big dinner... Go on with the story," she assured. Mickey nodded, took a sip of his milk, and kept going. Meanwhile on the Tardis the lights flickered from dim to bright in an uneven pattern. Somewhere under the grates the Doctor cursed for the thousandth time and a familiar blue light flashed. His brown head crawled up from where he was hiding only to glance at the error message still reading on the Tardis screen. His shoulders slumped where he now sat, half in and half out of the console room. The Tardis lights went bright once again.

"What am I missing? I've rewired the console almost completely and checked for damaged wires... how can you not be working?" he moaned in frustration. Next to him lay several papers strewn every which way in a very Rose-like fashion but sadly, this mess was his. He had tried to arrange the read outs in a logical order so he could better understand the problem, but there wasn't any order to it. The hardware scans were intricate, the software scans were redundant and the error messages were getting more frequent. He lifted up another paper that had recently printed out and read over it. "There's just too much for me to do!" he finally cried out, dropping the paper and climbing out of the maintenance hole. He stormed over to the console. "I told Rose we'd be out of here in exactly a week and that my friend lands on tomorrow!" he berated the Tardis as though she could respond and in disagreement to his blame she thundered unhappily. "Sorry girl... I'm just a might bit irritated. I didn't want to send her off with him... never do, but she had to get out of my way or I couldn't think straight. Now I can't even think straight cause the issue makes no sense. The hardware blames the software, the errors blame each other and nothing I've done has fixed anything. I might be a time lord but I'm not a magician. At this rate you might not leave the ground for another five years and that means I'm grounded with Jackie Tyler and Mickey the Idiot for five years on this glum little planet full of stupid little apes..." He was sulking; he knew it and he had no intention of stopping it. Things had all just gone wrong since that damn Correll interfered! If he was a lesser man he'd go back in time and kill Correll the moment he caused a problem instead of waiting for him to threaten his life as incentive. Though actually it was Correll's plasma cannons and interspace missiles that had really caused the damage by bouncing him and the Tardis off the walls of time as a hello. "I'll do it though, I'll fix you or die trying!" he finally cheered. "Just too attached to ya to let you down now I guess... hold on... too attached... attached... attach - I got!" and with that he went barreling to the other side of the room with a brilliant grin. "It's evasive I know but if it works - zoom! We're off! Just gotta call Rose..." he thought aloud, dialing the numbers. Abruptly he hung up the phone and searched the room. "No, if I tell her she'll just come running back... I've got to keep her away for as long as possible..." He stood motionless, thinking as hard as his mind would allow whilst the lights continued to alternate in strength. Finally he sobered and turned back to the phone. "Only one choice then... heaven help me," he muttered, setting the receiver to his head.

Rose laughed insanely, her orange juice spilling into her half empty plate from the effort and making her laugh harder. Mickey made another ridiculous face, pouching his cheeks out and crossing his eyes. It was odd how the smallest thing amused her today and Mickey seemed to be taking advantage of it.

"Oh hold on, my cell's ringin," he chuckled. Rose nodded through her laughter and set down her juice before it all ended up on the table. Several other customers eyed her with smiles and she waved at them surreptitiously. "Hello? Rose don't wave," he whispered, grasping her hands to stop her.

"What's going on? Mickey? Who are you telling Rose not to wave at?"

"Oh Doctor, hello! It's for you Rose - " he began and started to hold out the phone.

"NO!" screamed the Doctor and Mickey brought the mobile back to his head. "If I wanted to talk to her then I'd have called her... who were you telling her not to wave at?" He added curiously. Mickey made a confused face, gesturing to Rose that the Doctor was crazy.

"No one, just some other customers who might not find her as funny as I am this morning," he replied. Rose's laughter could be heard through the phone as well as Mickey's chortling.

"Do I even want to know what you two are doing in a public eatery that could inspire so much amusement?" frowned the Doctor. Mickey shrugged, knowing the Doctor couldn't see it. He finally had Rose to himself and no amount of upset voice was going to change how much he liked it. "No I don't think I do... Anyway, I needed to ask a favor of you."

"Yeah? Fire away!" he piped. Rose had calmed enough to sop up the stray orange juice with a piece of toast and was more involved with that than their conversation. Mickey watched her as he listened.

"Good. I'm about to start some rather intricate work on the Tardis, don't bother asking you wouldn't understand if I explained it, so you and Rose take your time. Maybe even go see a movie or something? I need the quiet time to think... If Rose comes back and starts pushing buttons it could hurt her or me or the Tardis and that's not a risk I can afford. I have to be left alone for a while so just make sure you stay gone all day, all right?"

"Why?"

"You aren't supposed to question a favor, Rickey. Don't you trust me?"

"No, not really and its Mickey... ...okay sure I do, just not with certain things and this is one of em."

"Well trust me. I'm not going anywhere without Rose, so get over it," was the strong reply and then a dial tone rang in Mickey's ear. Rose looked up from her plate and into Mickey's eyes questioningly as a million thoughts ran through the boy's head.

"Who was that?" she asked quietly.

"Hm?" he answered. She raised an eyebrow at him to say she wasn't going to repeat it and all at once it seemed to register. "Oh. The Doctor."

"Why'd he call you? What did he want?" she wondered, her tone taking on a bit of offense and insult. Mickey did his best to ignore it. She was becoming more and more like him every time they stopped... or the other way round because he had started to like the Doctor slightly more than when they started.

"I don't know, he wasn't making much sense. Just started rambling on about me and you going to do something when we left here and telling me not to worry about getting you back anytime soon," he shrugged and took another bite of pancake. Rose watched him with a smile that hid her inner feelings of suspicion. She knew Mickey wanted her to himself but did he want her bad enough to keep her from leaving with the Doctor again? Had that call really and truly been an emergency? Was the Doctor trying to call her back so they could leave? Would Mickey lie about something that serious?

"Did he really say that?" she questioned. He looked up, innocent as ever only with syrup trailing off his lip. He wiped it away and swallowed.

"Yeah, why? Do you think I'm lying?" he accused.

"No," she assured, shaking her head as she lifted her fork again. "That just doesn't seem like him."

"Look, I'm not _trying_ to keep you away from him, but that's what the Doctor said, "keep her away from the Tardis for a while"," he brushed off, taking another bite. Rose didn't bother to hide her dislike this time as she openly bit down on her tongue in thought. The Doctor couldn't have possibly said something as hurtful as that. He had just told her the night before that he liked her and she was his companion and companions don't say that sort of thing.

"Wh -" she hesitated, "why would he want that?" Mickey looked up to her, chewing his mouthful with difficulty. His eyes held indifference and uncaring as to why and suddenly the full content of his last statement landed on her. "Is that what you're really trying to do? Keep me away from him?" she demanded, her voice still quiet. She was in disbelief. Never would she have suspected such a thing but he had said it himself. He had given her the idea where it hadn't been before and judging by the look on his face now, he was realizing it.

"Rose, no, I would never - let me explain - "

"You know what, Mickey, no need. The Doctor may be alien and not good enough for you, but he's never lied to me about anything... well, recent events excluded... and he's never tried to keep me from doing something I want to do by manipulating me! You're just as bad as that - " without warning her anger drained the words from her lips while her hands gestured furiously to help her remember, "that chip! When you've grown up... come and find me. I'll be at the Tardis," she snapped and by yanked on her coat. He watched helplessly bewildered as she stood to leave.

"Rose wait! That's not it! Rose - " he choked, scrambling from the table and jarring the dishes loudly as she made it out the door. "Wait!" he yelled, his hand outstretched to stop her. Before he could even make it to the door however a large white man stepped in his way smelling of cooking grease and sweat.

"Your bill?" he asked politely, looking the boy down with a hard gaze. Mickey buckled under the look; nodding and muttering he hadn't forgot as he dug through his pockets and headed toward the cash register. He had to hurry. Rose didn't know the Doctor's warning and if anything happened to her, well he'd be dead meat three times over.

Rose ran the conversation over in her head as she grew ever closer to the Tardis, her anger still fuming. Maybe she had overreacted... maybe, but the Doctor wasn't a joke for her. The possibility of him leaving her was so very real and so very terrifying that she didn't even want to pretend it was coming anytime soon. Nothing compared to him, nothing... Her mind only slightly took in the renewed blue paint on the exterior of her beloved police box as she slid in her key. Mickey really should know her better than that. She pushed open the door, quickly stepping in out of the breeze and shivering as she closed it behind her. The console room was deathly quiet and dim. An eerie feeling took her over.

"Doctor? I'm back!" she called, the sound echoing gently. "Doctor?" She stood on the ramp near the door with her hands packed warmly away in her pockets. She scanned the empty room for a sign of his pinstripe pants. There were papers on the floor near the console and tools tossed carelessly about the room as though he had just been there, so his silence worried her. "Doctor? Its Rose... where are you?" she beckoned, now roaming around the room. Finding no visible indication that he was here she moved down the hallway to another room, calling his name as she went, hoping he might hear her. The Tardis responded slowly to the growing desperation in Rose's heart, almost delayed even as a brightly lit room appeared before her at the end of a short hall. She had never seen this room before. It was small and filled with large machinery that hummed in action and blinked with lighted buttons of all colors. The predominate hue of the room though was a crystal like blue that almost hurt her eyes as she inspected it for danger. Squinting she walked in, trusting that the Tardis would never intentionally guide her wrong. "Doctor?" she questioned and turned the corner to see the most heart stopping sight she'd ever seen. Her gasp filled the room and spilled out into the hallway. There he was, her Doctor, locked away in a glass chamber, naked... stuffed full of tubes and wires. Some tubes had liquid going into him and others had liquid coming out while his eyes, deep and hallow looking, were shut tight in a deep sleep. His hair was tossed about more than usual in what struck her as struggle born. There were buttons everywhere, covering a small control board to her right, dotting the metal strip that shielded any view of his privates, riding up the side of the containment booth and wires dangling from the ceiling and walls that extended into the man himself. He looked dead with all the wires attached to his skin and the paleness of his features. For an instant her heart stopped. Who did this? Who put her Doctor in that thing and ran tubes through him? Who had hurt him?

Without thinking she ran to the jutting control board and looked over the buttons panicked. There had to be something she could do! She couldn't leave him! She wouldn't leave him! Someone had gotten in a hurt him, had locked him away in that alien chamber to do experiments on him while she was gone and she would not leave him! She reached to press a button, any button just to open that damn cage when powerful arms wrapped her up and pulled her away.

"Rose don't!" Mickey barked. His voice was breathy from running but his grip was never stronger.

"No! Mickey let me go! I have to help him! He's dying!" she cried, fighting him urgently. Tears stung at her eyes as she admitted to the fear. It was like his regeneration all over again. She could watch him and yet never be able to touch him, to stop him. This was why he told her to stay away, he knew there was danger on the Tardis and he wanted to stop it, to save her! Mickey hauled her backward a few more inches, resisting her best efforts with sympathy to the devastation on her face.

"Rose Tyler! I swear, you damn apes just don't listen..." groaned a familiar voice and Rose froze at the sound. Her and Mickey's eyes fell heavily on the hologram projected in front of them, their fight no longer taking place. "I told Mickey to keep you away for as long as possible, I even told him that you'd get hurt if you came in pressing buttons, but what happens? You come in and start pressing buttons! Really! Can you not resist pressing an unknown button?" he berated comically. Rose grinned halfheartedly.

"Doctor?" The hologram didn't respond, though really she hadn't expected it to. The last time she'd even seen a hologram it had been of her other Doctor, informing her he was about to die. Fortunately this Doctor, still clad in his pinstripe suit and converse all stars, wasn't solemn and hadn't mentioned anything about dying. Her concern lightened at the radiant smile he cast on the room, just past her left shoulder.

"Now that's out of the way," he began again and his voice was distinctively deeper, "I know this frightens you. It looks like I'm being experimented on or dissected, but I'm not. What I'm doing is a very 'evasive' procedure to fix the Tardis and it was purely voluntary. I simply looked around and decided there was too much work to be done for the both of us, it could take me years to catch up on what was damaged and I might never fix everything what with the way we go on," he smirked. "As easy as I can put it, Rose, this procedure is never done. I've never done it before and I'll never do it again and my people rarely did it when they were alive. It's dangerous, to everyone involved... it's volatile and risky and it could shave another life off the end of my existence. I'll still be the same as when I started it, but I might die sooner in the future," he forced a laugh, shoving his hands into his pockets. The action was strangely comforting. "What I've done is join myself with the body of the Tardis. These tubes and wires you see, they have joined my system procedures with the Tardis' to help it fix itself. It's a way of - kind of - boosting what she can do for herself and advancing what I could've done for her. I can't explain it completely. I never really bothered learning the details when I was younger because I never expected to be using it. Essentially I'm giving the Tardis a restore point back to before it got damaged. Things will still be broken and certain problems can't be mended this way, but this is the fastest method and the best quality... annnd by fastest I mean the next 24 hours uninterrupted. The slightest trigger could kill the heart of the Tardis and me along with it. Or it could cause an electrical trauma and kill everyone involved with the trigger or it could... let's just say DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING and we'll all be fine!" he smiled, emphasizing it with a slight shake of his head. The hologram version of her Doctor looked down at its watch and then back up. "I started the whole thing at about fifteen minutes after you left the Tardis, nine-forty five I believe, so just sit tight until tomorrow at this time when I can get us out of here. And don't worry about me; I should be fine when this is through. I promise Rose, I'm sorry... I had to do it. She was too badly torn up. What good is a time lord without his ship eh? Oh and don't you dare think that I've forgotten about last night either," he winked. "You're not getting off so easily. Well then, see ya later!" and with that the hologram switched off, leaving a dazed and mildly confused Rose and Mickey in its wake. She blinked.

Engine humming filled the new silence as Mickey released Rose's waist and gaped at the Doctor. She swiveled round to meet his expression of awe, knowing that the same look was probably dancing upon her face as well. She had seen many things, learned thousands of facts, and been to hundreds of places so far in her journey with the Doctor but this was by far a new level of creepy. For goodness sake he was connected to the bloody Tardis... literally! His body and mind were interwoven with it's super-consciousness through all of those sickening wires and tubes that she had just tried to get ripped out of him! What had she been thinking? Well, obviously she hadn't been thinking at all based off the way she'd reacted when Mickey grabbed her. Nevertheless, she could've gotten them all three killed and that wasn't excusable. He was right, she knew better than to push strange buttons... that was his job. She smiled at Mickey as a wave of relief washed over her, the picture of it all sinking in. It really was pretty spectacular. He looked like a human battery and the Tardis was responding as though she had been drugged!

"What happened last night?" wondered a confused Mickey and Rose had to choke back a laugh. She knew very well what happened last night, too well, and apparently she knew the Doctor well enough to know he hadn't forgotten it. It wasn't everyday they got to smooch while under the influence, she thought dryly.

"N-nothin'. Mum and me watched this alien flick and the Doctor got scared... vowed revenge on me for spookin' him in the middle of the night," she lied, grinning despite herself. Mickey raised his eyebrows.

"An alien flick scared the Doctor?" he questioned. Rose fidgeted anxiously.

"Yeah, it - it really wasn't that big of a deal so -- How bout the Doctor hookin himself up like a bleedin battery?" she spat quickly, hoping to distract the topic away. Mickey chuckled.

"Lost his mind at last!" he teased. Rose nodded as she relived the kiss in her mind again for the second time that day and let her eyes wander without direction. She didn't really need to hear what Mickey was saying, probably some techno-geek drabble she'd heard before. "Ya know, I wonder if we can actually 'see' any of the changes taking... Rose look!" he squealed and spun her back around. Above them, just behind where she had been standing something was hardly moving enough to attract her attention. It was a tiny electrical panel door swinging off a solitary broken hinge about four feet over her head.

"It's moving... on its own... he really is fixing the Tardis in a faster way," she murmured and watched as it swung back up into place. A new hinge slowly began to grow as the older one melted away into a repaired one. She didn't notice Mickey had stopped watching until he spoke.

"So what now then? We can't go to the carnival, can't help out in here..." he glanced around. "What should we do?" She shrugged.

"Dunno. I didn't have any plans really, just sort of winging it," she sighed. "Can we- can we get out of here? Its still --"

"A little bit weird? Yeah. I think I'm going to be having nightmares of the Doctor looking like that!" he joked and both of them took one last glimpse before rushing out of the room. The hallway was still dark and the console room was still quiet. Nothing had change to suit their revelation except the peaceful way Rose was now able to absorb it all. Before she had been concerned, but now that she knew better it was quite comforting to be back 'home'. She stopped in the very place the Doctor had collapsed on her the night before and Mickey went around, headed for the door.

"Want to go to the mall or something? I think they're having a concert tonight?" he suggested. He stopped when he saw she wasn't going to follow and her face crinkled up in guilt. He knew what she was about to say but she still said it.

"I really would rather stay home tonight, Mick. If that's alright? I mean... he's vulnerable. I don't feel comfortable just running off and leaving him," she begged. Mickey groaned loudly, a fake show of exasperation he performed when he wanted her to know he didn't like it but he'd do it.

"But there's nothing you could do if he needed you anyway!" he reasoned.

"You don't know that... I don't know that. I shared a soul with the Tardis, Mickey... there's a lot of things about me now that none of you know," she shot back mischievously. He grinned.

"There are a lot of things about you I never knew to begin with," he replied and they both laughed. "All right then. But you owe me game time! I want you, the Tomb Raider and a bowl of munchies as payment! Tonight," he bargained. She moved forward, slipping her hands into her pockets with a smile.

"Deal," she nodded. He turned to head out the door without a second look. "But hey. Help me straighten up in here first? It's a total sty!"

"Rose, the Doctor said not to touch anything! You want the Tardis to blow up?"

"Aw c'mon Mickey. Non-lethal straightening. I mean look!" she gestured behind her. Since he'd been a companion on the Tardis for a while she was certain that he could help her clean up without being 'a stupid ape' and pressing things. His mouth dropped yet again that day.

"But we didn't even finish cleaning up your mum's place. Why on earth would I help him out?" he demanded.

"Because you looooove me," she goaded, running a teasing finger up his chest. He shot her a look of reproach that they both identified as half hearted and then surrendered. She sang with joy as he took off his jacket and dropped it over the railing.

"Fine, but you clean the flat on your own," he grumbled. In turn Rose pealed off her own coat.

"Nothing new," she shrugged.

Once they had managed to get the Tardis straight and tidy once again Rose and Mickey split up. He went home to gather some things to occupy them at the flat until tomorrow while Rose finished cleaning up the disastrous flat for her mum. She hadn't really acknowledged how filthy it was until she started to work on it alone. Now she was glad Mickey had gone the opposite direction and the Doctor was locked away in a veritable coma. No one needed to see how nasty she and her mum where... She had just finished washing a load of laundry, including the cushion covers from the couch that they had covered in popcorn from last night, when Mickey fumbled through the door.

"Rose, some help!" he squeaked, almost dropping one of his expensive game controllers. She dropped her load on the now clean dinner table and rushed to help him. "What's all that?" he asked when he could finally see past his junk. Rose took the controllers and games she'd freed from him to the floor in front of the television.

"Just some laundry. This place needed some freshening up," she said. He looked around the flat again in surprise. "What?"

"Well, you washed the curtain - I can tell cause now you don't see the spewed coke stain I made over new year's," he grinned, "and you've cleaned and polished the dinner table and chairs... you've washed the sofa covers I'm guessing since it looks like a skeleton without its clothes on... and you've vacuumed, twice cause I still see the tracks in the carpet." Rose stood and crossed her arms, grinning with her tongue between her teeth.

"My aren't you observant today?" she joked.

"No really! You've done an excellent job in the hour and a half it took me to get back here... s'like a whole new world. OOO look! You dusted!" he cheered, mocking her and her mum for never cleaning. "Can you do mine next?" Rose rolled her eyes and went back to her laundry.

"I wouldn't dream of it," she replied, lifting the cushion covers free and laying them over her shoulder. Mickey settled his Xbox and laptop on the floor with his games before taking a seat next to them. While she redressed the couch he began plugging in all the electronics.

"What's gotten into you today anyway?" he muttered flatly. She didn't bother looking his way; she knew he was distracted with barely visible input outlets.

"Nothin. Can't I just clean cause I feel like it? I mean there's no other way for me to relieve any stress around here. There's nothing ever going on," she grumbled, bouncing a cushion into its shell.

"Well why don't we do what we were gonna do yesterday before I got called in to work?" he said but his voice was muffled behind the tele. "There's a Saturday Night Live marathon coming on tonight." She set the last cushion back into place, thinking as she went back to the laundry she had left.

"Sure. Video games and tele. Sounds like a right good night of relaxation if you ask me and that's just what I need according to mum and the Doctor. Let's do it," she smiled. He pulled back with his own smile and she laughed.

"What?" he asked. She pointed to the dust bunny that had climbed into his hair and he pulled it out with an agitated smirk. "Would you cook then? Haven't had Rose cuisine for a long time."

"Sorry, but there's never any food in the kitchen for something like that," she responded, folding up her mother's clothes and intently assuring that everything made it from the dryer alive.

"Well I've got money," he said.

"Well I've got the talent," she chirped back and eagerly tossed a wad of socks at him.

The rest of the night went off without a hitch. Rose played Tomb Raider with Mickey for hours, obligingly supplying him with bowls of pretzels, popcorn, and black pepper Doritos whenever he requested. He had bought the Tylers an entire week's supply of food regardless of how Rose promised that she would not be home after tomorrow. He said that Jackie deserved it too after the way she looked after him in Rose's absence so she had let him do it. Somewhere around six o'clock Jackie had even popped by for dinner and a change of clothes. She told them both how Howard wanted her to meet the folks and swore to Rose that they weren't serious. She especially told her that she knew what it would do to Pete if she were to replace him and Rose accepted the change a little calmer than before. Somehow she had realized that she wouldn't be around for her mother forever and that the two people awaiting her here at home would have to move on with their lives. It was depressing but she didn't dwell on it. She had the Doctor for a while longer at least. Eventually she started cooking and an hour later they all sat down to chicken parmesan, garlic bread, salad, wine spritzers, and a big bowl of chunky almond ice cream that Rose steered clear of. She said it looked something like Jonick spew and refused it.

A couple hours later after Rose had checked her backed up email messages, Jackie went off on her date, and the couple had settled in for a marathon of Saturday Night Live gags, the depressing feeling came back to her. She now weighed the importance of her priorities as they stood and it wasn't a fair scale. On one side was her mother/home/Mickey/Earth and on the other, the Doctor. Everything he'd ever shown her/done for her/said to her... it meant more to her than everything else. It meant more to her to have that and not lose that then she'd even realized, but why? She couldn't understand it; it was a question she'd be battling with for years now... why? Why did she feel this attachment to him? Why had it only gotten worse when he changed bodies? Why did she feel that she knew every cell he had and every thought he could have? Why had she put him on a different level than everything else in the universe lately? She could be millions of miles from the Powell Estate 2006 and yet still at home as long as she could see that face... his face... He had left her, twice to be precise, and yet she still went to him, held his hand and made it all better...

"Rose?" It's Mickey and his sounds worried. She looks over to him, lightening up her features to give him a front of strength. She won't tell him the things running around in her head when he asks, she never does. She just sits and thinks on it until she has a solution. It's better than opening her mouth and revealing her stupidity Jack had once said in jest. "Something the matter?"

"No," she smiled like she meant it. "Just soaking it all in." He nodded in approval of her half lie and went back to watching the sketch while putting a dorito into his mouth. He seemed to be thinking his own thoughts though, a world of Mickey land where she was probably the queen. She turned back to the show. There was an easy way to toss off her feelings about the Doctor and her uncertainty so she did just that now, accepted that she would never understand. Mickey however she understood well. She understood his involuntary urgency to cling to her because she had accidentally caused it when she rescued her father from his intended death date. She understood his isolated feelings the same way she understood the Doctor's. He had no parents, no gran, and now no Rose, but things were looking up for him. He had gotten a promotion over the week and Jackie was taking her mothering duties to him since Rose wasn't home... She began biting at her nails nervously when the Doctor's words rang in her head again: do you think it's fair? Normally she was his conscious, not the other way round. It was like hearing his voice in the room. Honestly, she wasn't being fair. She was being selfish and tending to herself instead of others. It was something she realized when the Doctor had explained his reason for the procedure that now fixed the Tardis. That was why she had cleaned so diligently, to give her mum a fair place to live in her wake, and that was why she felt pained now. Mickey would always be important to her, she'd always love him and yet she couldn't bear to hurt him anymore than she already had.

"When are you going to give this stuff up?" he questioned timidly. Rose looked over at him again and this time his expression was stern and relentless. He wasn't asking about the way she was nibbling on her nails, he was asking about her life with the Doctor. "When are you going to stop? Because it's killing you. Everyday, more danger, more pain..."

"Mickey it's not killing me. I mean life with the Doctor is crazy, you know that, but it's not killing me. He wouldn't allow that. Whatever you think you see right now is just the chip. I'm still recovering you know," she reasoned.

"Oh come off it, Rose. There'll always be some chip threatening your life, it's the everyday stuff I'm talking about, stuff that doesn't go away when the chips are gone... you know you can't be with the Doctor forever anyway and he won't stick around forever either. When are you going to come back to the real world?" Rose's mouth dropped in shock. Real world? Had he just said real world?

"How much more real can you get? I'm fighting to save all of existence and literally seeing what you call reality be created everyday. And not just one, hundreds! You can't say that's not the real world Mickey, you can't!" she argued feverishly. She was willing to have this conversation, willing to set him at ease after everything she'd done to him, but not this way. Not when he was targeting everything she had grown to hold dear.

"But what about your reality, huh? What about the reality you were made for? Are you going to give it all up for the Doctor?" he spat. She held her tongue with her teeth to avoid speaking. She didn't know the answer to that never had and kept telling herself she never would but really part of her knew that it was true. She would give it all up and go with him no matter the consequence. A sudden thought occurred to her that she was made for the reality that she had chosen, that she was the Bad Wolf and had been fated to be with the Doctor, but she withheld it. She wasn't going to argue with him when she doubted herself. Mickey started again, dropping his tone to an apologetic and loving one. "Eventually you're going to have choose, love... and if you don't... we both know the Doctor will choose for you."

"Is that what this is all about Mickey? Do you want me to choose you or him? Because I'm not going to do it." There were tears in her eyes now, daring her to let them free. It was too much. The truth she was confronting, the knowledge she was gaining, the feelings she was meeting, the fear of losing him when she knew it was best... all of it was approaching and all of it was too much.

"No. No Rose, that's not what this is about. I'd love for you to choose, you know that, but I know you won't... I know you don't want to." Her tears slid down her cheeks in a hot line, dripping onto her shirt steadily. He was staring at her, seeing her. It was the first time in a long time she could remember actually being seen so every word she took for genuine. He meant what he was saying even if it wasn't the truth. He was holding her hand now, gazing into her eyes, and she felt no pressure of guilt. "I just want you to know that I want you safe and happy, Rose. It doesn't matter to me anymore if it's with me or with him because I know you love him..." She started to protest, but he kept going. "I love you, I always will and I'll always be here for you, even if it's just as your friend." Rose sniffed and rubbed at her nose with her thumb. She sucked back the sob she could feel at the brink of her throat.

"Are we breaking up?" she whispered, her eyes on him fixedly. She was trying so hard not to be sad over this. He deserved peace, he deserved answers and though she couldn't give them she knew he deserved them all the same. But Mickey also knew this and he only sighed. He leaned back against the arm of the sofa as he released her hand and she noticed his face wasn't torn up in sorrow. He wasn't overwhelmed with pain the way she was, just content and at peace. _'I want some of whatever it is he's smoking that helps stay that calm,'_ she thought miserably and once again stared into his eyes. He was prepared, fully prepared to accept anything that happened now.

"That's all up to you..." he finally answered. Silence fell between them the way time and space so often had... There was nothing left for him to say, nothing left that 'she' could say without it changing their lives. In fact she couldn't even think. His words just kept echoing in her head. _"It doesn't matter to me anymore if it's with me or with him because I know you love him..."_ "Fancy a walk?" he offered softly, extending his hand and a small smile. She forced herself to give him the same courtesy, followed by a nod. Some fresh air would be great and a reason to allow some thought would be even better. She took his hand and he tugged her up off the sofa, tossing her coat haphazardly at her to provoke a smile.

-----------Within the Doctor's Mind------------  
He didn't know how long he'd been under, it felt like an eternity. There was no noise, no sights... just dark and the whispered beating of his hearts. It was difficult to breathe now, but he assumed that was the Tardis taking breaths with him which meant he only got half. She would stop in a little while to let him catch up. After all his death right now meant hers too so he wasn't afraid. His only fear was for Rose and what thoughts were bumbling about in her head at that moment. Was she afraid? Was she happy? Was she with Mickey? Was she ill?

His time spent here so far had been mostly dedicated to her very memory. He relived most of their moments together and considered variable moments in the future. He thought about his conversation with Jackie and the warmth she'd given him in his deepest confusion to date. Mostly he dwelt on the one person in all of time and space who had been willing to turn the universe inside out to save his life. The compassion in her voice, the gold flecks of her hair, the tenderness of her touch, the seductive glint in her eye, the pouty curve of her mouth, the adorable way she bites her tongue when she's playing or embarrassed, even the horrid way she screams when she's angry...

In her name he had waged war on his emotions today. He sifted through the rubbish and the fear of his paranoia and looked at how he really felt when she was concerned. His conclusion wasn't astounding, but it had mildly surprised him. He was in love with her and not just in love with her (no, because he knew that much already), he was more in love with her than he could safely allow. She was in his blood now, she coursed through his very veins to the exact point that there were moments he could swear he heard her laugh in his head or heard her insults from across the room. She understood his every expression now, read his every gesture practically like an expert with a microscope and he loved it. He loved the fact that she was breathing itself for him now. Only he had come to realize that there wasn't a safe way for him to dislodge himself from her before it could hurt too much. If he left her now, if he left her later, if he watched her die... they would all possibly kill him or haunt him for the rest of his life. The battle then became what he should do and what he could handle doing. Could he handle the tears in her eyes when he left her? Could he handle watching her age and hearing that last breath leave her forever? Could he handle setting a date to leave her on Earth and then anxiously approach it? Could he handle NOT doing any of those things? Could he handle missing her smile, her wonderment, her hand on his shoulder, her reproachful tone when he mocked her mother? Could he live without those moments where she made his hearts trill at the sight of her? Each question had merit and provoked a thought at least.

Hours... he was sure it had taken hours of this silent meditation for him to deduct an answer. He had used the full power of his brain, had barely assisted the Tardis with repairs, and had forced himself to face the futures of each outcome. They were all dark and gloomy, for she was a human in the end, but the in between parts he had neglected before... they got brighter. Suddenly he arrived at the choice of choices. He would never look back now. He loved her, more than life and if it meant pain then he would endure. He would survive whatever it took to be with her, even if it meant being shot down by her. There was always the possibility she didn't love him back that her heart would never beat for his alien DNA but he no longer cared. She wouldn't leave him when she found out, no matter how negatively she thought on his emotions. She had told him that. So now just to be with her, to build those memories that would sustain his desire for her for the rest of his life... it was more than enough.

-------------On the streets of London---------------  
"What time is it? There's people everywhere!" Rose smiled. She glanced at the woman walking with her little boy just ahead and at the elderly man on the park bench. Mickey pressed the glowing light on his watch.

"11:45? I think my watch's a bit off. Can we see big Ben from here?" he looked around.

"No, s'blocked by buildings," she replied. He mouth an 'oh' and rippled his eyebrows happily at her. She grinned again, trotting slowly beside him. They hadn't held hands since they started. She didn't feel it was fair to either one of them with the things they had been discussing. At least now they were looking at it less seriously, before she was feeling like the end of the world had pushed between them.

"So how long did it take the Doctor to figure out you had the chip?" asked Mickey light heartedly. Rose thought, her nose crinkling as she looked to the stars and snuggled into the neck of her coat.

"Two - three hours after he got back? I dunno. It kinda went into overdrive when I saw him," she laughed and looked back at him jovially. Mickey nodded, giving her a knowing smile. "What?"

"You're in love with him. I know you are... you won't admit it but you are," he said softly. "S'alright really!" he then added proudly, taking her hand from her pocket to hold. "If I'm going to lose you to someone I'd rather it be the Doctor than some jumpin Jack Flash!" Rose snorted.

"You haven't called him that in forever!" she cried, ignoring Mickey's proclamation of her love for the afore mentioned. He had already said that twice since they started their walk and once nearly convinced her of it. She just wasn't sure she believed that he was okay with something so big yet. Either that or she wasn't sure 'she' was okay with something so big yet.

"S'cause I haven't seen him in forev - hold on?" The sound of footsteps was beating excruciatingly slow behind them, almost in a spooky way.

"Do you hear that?" asked Rose worried. It was the very same sound she had been hearing behind her for a week now. The echo of someone approaching from behind or beside or in front of her and no one to be seen. He had never heard it too until now.

"Yeah," he looked behind them. "Was that him?" Rose turned to look at the rumpled man sidling along behind them in the shadows and they stopped. He was moving slowly, thoughtlessly, directionless.

"Yeah... I think... Is he drunk?" she asked quietly so as not to be overheard. Mickey shrugged.

"S'probably homeless... or both. HEY YOU! BUGGER OFF! WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!" he yelled. The figure was getting closer and had made no inclination of stopping. Rose eyed him suspiciously. This wasn't normal behavior as far as she could tell. Most people acknowledge being spoken to unless something was wrong and something definitely felt wrong here. Out of nowhere another figure could be discerned through the shadows of an alley to their far right, on the other side of Mickey. Her heart skipped a beat as she put her hand on Mickey's arm.

"I don't think he's homeless, Mickey. Someone's coming up beside you," she said softly, unable to disguise the fright in her voice. Mickey didn't turn to the figure approaching him; his eyes were fixated behind her.

"Well," he replied, his voice shaking nervously, "not to alarm you, but there's one coming up near you too." It took little effort for Rose to gather the scenario. She had seen it several times before. They were alone, two young people, walking in the dead of night on a now seemingly deserted street away from downtown and there were strange people on three sides of them so far.

"I think we're surrounded," she gulped and dared to glimpse over her shoulder at the newly present figure bringing up the rear. Mickey gripped her hand tightly now, drawing her closer as the figures began to close in. What did they want? Hadn't he told them they had no money? He scanned the area desperately. Did they want Rose? Were they planning to rape her? Kill her? Kill him? It was just like watching a crime show on the tele now. They were surrounded by wordless, faceless thugs and their lives were inaudibly at risk. He had to do something, she was gripping his had back even tighter now. He had to think fast!

"RUN!" he belted and jerked her into a sprint for their lives.

* * *

A/N: Cliffhanger or what? lol 


	7. Chapter 7

Hey All... I hate to disappoint everyone but I have completely lost my muse for this story. I had this whole ornate idea planned out but never got around to writing it. Now after I've been so sick I've just lost interest. I will however post the seventh chapter I have and what little I wrote of chapter 8... and to hopefully make things easier I'll post a little one shot I did of Rose rejoinging the Doctor and Martha. It's poorly written and terribly short but I like the idea... Again I'm sorry.

Last time!!

"I think we're surrounded," she gulped and dared to glimpse over her shoulder at the newly present figure bringing up the rear. Mickey gripped her hand tightly now, drawing her closer as the figures began to close in. What did they want? Hadn't he told them they had no money? He scanned the area desperately. Did they want Rose? Were they planning to rape her? Kill her? Kill him? It was just like watching a crime show on the telly. They were surrounded by wordless, faceless thugs and their lives were inaudibly at risk. He had to do something, she was gripping his hand twice as hard. He had to think fast!

"RUN!" he belted and jerked her into a sprint for their lives.

What's Ahead??

He couldn't believe what he was seeing, couldn't fathom the chance that she was wounded within the Tardis, and yet - there she lay, tossed aside as though someone had slammed her physically into the wall and simply allowed her to drop. Horrible images filled his mind of her being tortured, abused even while he deftly slept away in that blasted compartment of his. How could he have let anything bad happen to her, how??

The men were slow at first, creeping forward in a perfect formation around them as the two watched on in stunned horror. Then Mickey pulled her off in a general direction and they managed to get out of range before the men gave chase. She'd been clutching to his hand ever since. No more was she certain of anything, of any aspect of her world. The Manipulator chip was hidden off in the Doctor's coat somewhere, harmlessly sitting in lint, and yet even then she felt it's effects. When would they go away and leave her to her own capabilities? When would her reactions and emotions feel like her own again instead of some false sensations pushed into her mind by futuristic technology? She had lost touch with her mother, breaking her heart every time she turned around. She had lost perspective on Mickey, on their relationship, on what he meant to her. She had even practically lost her sanity over the easily repaired wound on the Doctor's chest … When would it end? When would she be Rose Tyler again, standing valiantly by the Doctor's side?

The only time she believed herself fast enough was with him, with the Doctor. When he was holding onto her hand, risking his life for hers, gleefully facing death just for the chance to be beside her in danger…. that was when she truly ran. At that moment however, when he was further away than he'd ever been before and it was Mickey holding her hand, she seriously doubted that they'd make it. She was already ignoring the burning pain in her lungs and the stabbing stitch in her side just to keep up. How much longer could she physically continue that? How much longer could she run without knowing where they were running to! And did it have an oxygen machine? Cause she needed an oxygen machine about then.

Mickey jerked on her hand for the fourth time since they had fled the enclosing circle of attackers, pleading with her silently to stay with him. He glanced back at her. "You alright??" he huffed, crushing her hand in concern. She was certain he didn't know how much it hurt, after all they were both rather panicked, but still, it paled in comparison to the reassuring squeezes of her Doctor. She sucked in a gulp of air before responding: "Fine!".

"What do they want?" he queried suggestively, glancing over her shoulder at the figures beyond.

"How should I know?" she barked, feeling a bit of her mum tinge her voice as he helped her leap over a trash bin. He said nothing of her tone, only dropped his jaw in outrage.

"Well you're the one who travels with the Doctor! What'd you do?" he accused.

"Just because I travel with him doesn't mean I know everything!" she snarled back, shooting him a glare also worthy her mum. "And I didn't do anything! What'd you do??" Perhaps there was something to her father's statement about sounding like her mum when she shouted… cause Mickey swallowed visibly her intensity.

"It wasn't me! I've never seen 'em before in my life!" he squeaked. She chanced a glimpse at the men behind her, insisting that her brain reconnect if only for a minute as she studied them. For starters she didn't know where Mickey was leading her, she didn't know how long they had been running for and she wasn't even certain what - exactly - they were running from… All a day on the job for her, but what was different that time? What could help them get out it?

Inadvertently she noticed what the predators were wearing; that they were all dressed alike in tan slacks, blue striped polo tees and combed over hair. They all appeared to be utterly average, of middle class ranking with the popular style of dress and hair and yet they were chasing two very non-average people down the street in the middle of the night.

Suddenly Mickey fumbled, stumbling over the street curb as he struggled to regain his footing and accidentally interrupted her line of thinking. She swerved back to help him up when he finally fell, but powerful, clammy fingers wrapped around her wrist, yanking her backward off her feet. For all of an instant she could see nothing more than darkness, the swirl of distant street lights and the mixed grain of road pavement beneath her. Then Mickey screamed her name somewhere nearby and the hand that had caught her constricted painfully enough to break her wrist if she moved. All ideas she'd had of an escape vanished.

He slowly turned her to face him, wanting her to see exactly what she was running from and why she should fear it. The sight almost stopped her heart cold. He had deep, engorged black holes for eyes that almost seemed to bleed unhappiness into the viewer… and skin, withered and gray, cracked like gnashes across an old canvas. She tremored frightfully when he growled at her, hatefully discharging a putrid stench of decaying flesh through his thick, un-parted lips into her face. She knew then that it was something she would see in her dreams, something that would stalk the deepest paranoia within her and haunt her in the dark for years.

"ROSE!" Mickey's voice pierced through her head like a bullet, stirring up the muck that had temporarily taken over her mind. She felt his hand rejoin hers, lacing their fingers in preparation of a struggle that would likely decide her fate as the intense connection the man had forced onto her broke. Mickey tugged and she dropped to the ground. He screamed for her to run and she allowed him to drag her away.

"Where are we?" he yelled as deep guttural howls echoed on the night air. She watched as he scanned over the darkness. All around them stood street signs and buildings, things that she had seen every day of her life and things that she would recognize for every day to come. Something clicked then, something familiar and right.

"We're on the estate!" she replied happily. All at once she knew they were in the courtyard outside her flat and she knew that if there was a courtyard then there was of course a -

"There's the Tardis!" Mickey cheered, pointing to the blue box in question. It was robustly sitting under a yellow cone of street light up ahead where the Doctor had parked it so long ago. She almost laughed in relief. Not even the Hun army could penetrate those walls, the Doctor had said so himself, so nowhere else in the world would be safer. She reached into her pocket for the key and together they aimed for the double, paneled doors they knew so well.

She had the key in hand when she slammed into the side of the police box, unable to slow herself enough for a stop. Mickey skidded along behind her not long after and immediately accepted the job as look out while she wordlessly went for the lock. She knew he understood her stronger knowledge about those sort of scenarios, that she lived them everyday and probably could gather the importance of speedy actions. So when he laid a hand atop hers for attention she stopped.

"Listen," he whispered, scanning over the abruptly empty courtyard around them. She noted the surprising silence surrounding the area and cautiously took one step closer to the Tardis. Neither of them moved.

"Where did they go?" she asked.

"Oh, this can't be good..." he muttered back and turned to check his right flank. She swallowed back the knot of mounting worry in her throat and she shook her head in agreement. "Do you think they've gone?"

"No."

"Right then - in we go," he hurried and like scared children they leapt through the spaceship doors, slamming them behind them and clinging to each other as they awaited any sounds of others trying to get in. Nothing more than the sounds of their adrenaline labored breathing and the comforting hum of machinery even registered with their ears though and slowly their fear abated. "Well... that was fun," she sardonically quipped, pulling back from him. "You should suggest walks more often," she added and headed for the console tiredly. He rounded on her in disbelief.

"What? You're blaming me?"

"Yeah. If we hadn't gone for a walk then we wouldn't have been chased now would we?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know that was going to happen! Hell I'm not even sure what happened!" he yelled. Rose sent a smirk at him over her shoulder, barely containing the giggles as she stepped around the room. "You - Oh you! I actually believed you were being serious!" he scolded, rushing at her playfully. He smacked her arm gently when she slid into the Doctor's favorite chair and wasn't able to get away.

"Yah, you did didn't you?" she chuckled. He smiled and relaxed against the console in front of her.

"Seriously though… what do you think all that was about?" She averted her gaze. Truthfully she had no idea what was happening to them… or to herself. She was completely clueless and afraid of what that would mean.

"I don't know," she at last sighed and for a long moment he watched her. He watched the melancholy shift from laughter to defeat, the way she hid her inner workings too well to be uncovered. He questioned her honesty in a subject he knew little about and she could see it in his eyes.

"So... what do you think about going back out there then?" he snorted bemused, a way of confessing his acceptance of her and moving on. Her face lit up with curiosity, half fending off a weak smile of gratuity as she raised one eyebrow and stared off into space blankly.

"I think - we should stay here," she grinned. "At least for a while. Can't be sure they're really gone can we? And what don't we have access to in here?" she said, slipping off the chair and walking around the console for emphasis.

"You mean other than ANYTHING?? We aren't supposed to touch a single button, Rose. You heard the Doctor… or rather, the hologram… the hologram of the Doctor… the Doctor hologram…"

"I didn't mean touch anything, I meant like food and beds," she retorted sarcastically. "We can get to those without buttons." He shrugged and sat in the abandoned pilot chair.

"Yeah sure. I don't mind staying… at least until the creepy feeling wears off," he smiled again. She reached into her coat pocket and withdrew the super phone the Doctor had created for her.

"Better call mum then. Warn her not to come home until we're sure those guys are gone," she muttered. Mickey bent forward and lifted the sonic screwdriver's manual off the console while she dialed.

"Yeah cause I'm sure they might still be out there. THEY don't know what this nasty blue machine really is," he insulted, loving the objection on her face at the bitter blow. "It shouldn't be a problem though about your mum. She'll just spend the night at Howard's again. Always does," he added and opened the book totally unaware of the revulsion he had inspired.   
Several minutes later Rose wandered circles around the console. She tossed the Doctor's favorite silver ball up and down idly as she thought. Mickey had been right. Her mum had promised to stay with Howard on the other side of town for the night if Rose called in the morning to let her know they were safe. She agreed, though not something she liked (her mum staying with Howard that was) and settled in.

Mickey still sat in the Doctor's chair flipping through the pages of the sonic screwdriver manual, his feet propped comfortably on the console. They had only spoke briefly after she hung up to convey that Jackie was safe. Then they went to their respective deterrents from boredom and she had time to go over all the torrents of feelings and thoughts bumbling about inside her… Including her conversation with Mickey. He was insistent on ending what they had, blaming her attraction to the Doctor as the reason, but she knew that was all it was - a reason. He had wanted to leave her countless times before and been unable. Was he suddenly testing her? Was he trying to find out her feelings for him by scaring her like that?… No, she knew Mickey better than that. He had always been a stand up guy and she was sure he'd remain that equivalent till his dying day… so what then? Did he honestly believe she loved the Doctor? Did she love the Doctor? That was ridiculous right? … Right??

"You alright?" he asked softly, barely disturbing their extended silence.

"Yeah? Why?"

"Cause you stopped throwing around the ball and there was this vacant look in your eyes," he grinned. "The one you get when you think too hard." She looked down at the ball resting motionless in her hands and then back at him. His face was still inclined on the book though his eyes were obviously on her. She shrugged. She didn't want to lie, she just wanted answers.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Are we alright?" he added, eyebrows raised in curiosity. The awful feeling she had of being torn in half by her love for Mickey and her love for life came back in a jolt and for an second it was as though they hadn't been chased by crazy men on the street mere hours ago. She walked over to where he lounged and leaned against the console.

"Are we over?" she replied, finding her voice whispering as though it could possibly assuage the reality they held. He sighed in response and sat up, dropping the manual back on the console. "I don't know... are we?" He didn't want this to hurt her. He didn't want to see the sadness in her eyes over this same thing again, over the same indecision they had been dancing with for years… but he also didn't want to go through that dance with her another day. Not when it was secretly killing them both the longer it was put off. Rose looked away from him, turning her eyes to the wall as she rolled the ball over the palm of her right hand. He could see her rallying her strength, controlling her emotions enough to try and articulate the proper words for each feeling. He fidgeted. "I mean, we were kind of in the middle of it when those jerks started chasing us… I think we ended up somewhere around me forbidding you to date that Captain friend of yours EVER.. Who was he again?" Despite her best efforts, Rose laughed."Stop it!" It came out a plea. "Be serious."

"About what? There's nothing to be serious about! You love him," he almost chuckled. "That's all there is to it."

"And what's that got to do with anything, hm? Don't I love you too?" she demanded hotly. He scoffed at her, glancing away to the console with the most agonized streak of hurt and longing unconsciously lacing his features. She knew it. She recognized that everything she saw there was caused by her and her unquenchable thirst for the Doctor. It broke her heart that she couldn't change that, that she wanted so terribly to take it all back, but never could. Taking it back would denounce the Doctor, eject him from her life with a springboard and that was something she could never be prepared to do… not even for herself.

"Not like you love him, you don't. Trust me, I've learned that the hard way," he muttered, looking back up into her face sadly.

"So what then? Now you're going to act like I turned you away for him?"

"But you did, Rose! You turned everything away for him, even your own life! I - I just don't know…. HOW did you not see this first?? How is it that you should be breaking up with me, but- but you're not??" he grumbled loudly. There was defeat in his voice, his lower lip protruding as his shoulders slumped. He reminded her of a sulking child who hadn't gotten their way.

"So that's what you're wanting?" she pressed uncertainly. "You're wanting me to break up with you so you don't have to? It has nothing to do with him!" Mickey blinked incredulously at that.

"Pssh," he huffed, puffing out his chest as proudly as any four year old. "I - I did this on my own didn't I? I brought it up, made you confront it. Now you want me to do the breaking up part too? I'm not THAT strong," he defended weakly. "Whatever you may think..."

Rose smiled warmly, finding herself unwanted and loved at the same time. In a round about way he was really trying to give her exactly what he thought she wanted - freedom. He just wasn't as good with his words as she would've liked.

She couldn't tell him he was wrong, that she hadn't considered breaking up with him so many times she'd lost count and that she hadn't forgotten about him for a while when she was with the Doctor. That much was true and rightly his to charge, but… did it really have to mean the end of what they had? The end of almost seven years? Tears stung at the corner of her eyes, threatening to fall once again. He was making her choose, just like he claimed he wouldn't…

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked bluntly, hunting for any clean cut answers to erase her confusion, to set her emotions right. Part of her was mourning the pain she caused him, but the other, larger part was ashamedly excited with the prospect, with the very potential her freedom carried and the liberation from guilt it would invite. She wanted nothing more than to understand who she was, to just understand how she felt about the world and where that chip had changed all that for her and the only way she could see to do it was by confronting everything -- including her feelings toward Mickey.

He groaned light heartedly, dropping his head backward in mock exhaustion of her stubborn progress. "Rose, I already told you I'm going to love you no matter what and I'm not going anywhere!" he promised, lifting her left hand into his as he grinned. "Nothing's going to change for us but the kisses... and the hugs... and the other stuff--"

"Alright! Cheeky," she chuckled through a sniff. He smiled encouragingly at her.

"My point is... you love him. You do!" he insisted, staring hard into her eyes for emphasis. He was going to have no arguments again. "And when you see I'm right," he added simply, "You'll be a whole hell of a lot happier than you were clinging to something that hasn't existed in a long time." Ending the conversation he reached for the manual.  
Rose reclined on the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees. Tilting her head back against the smooth wall of the blue room she gazed over her Doctor's odd, sort of, smile. She hadn't noticed it before... or the way he almost seemed to smirk at her… or the adorable way his tousled hair stood on ends in clear defiance of gravity. She guessed the chamber came filled with a gel or goop of some kind that made such feats possible. That was what they always did in movies at least. Of course he was still as deathly pale and painfully full of tubes and wires as she had found him the first time. The interest she could take in just the image of his face however hadn't ceased to amaze her. In fact, that was why she was still sitting there. Seeing him in such fashion had interfered with her thought process and distracted her of topic repeatedly. She finally gave into the expression on his face, stopping herself from forcing uncomfortable thoughts through her head. She could never be in love with the Doctor. He was an alien, a time lord, and beyond settling with anyone. Therefore even if she were in love with him, he would never love her back… but did she want him to? The thought nagged on her mind.

Mickey had told her numerous times in the past that she cared more for the Doctor than him, that she was obviously in love with him. Now that he'd broken up with her because of it she actually wondered if she did… Her mother had said something too. Every time she spotted the two together she would mutter a comment about lovebirds when she didn't think they could hear her. Or she'd treat the Doctor with resigned acceptance similar to that of a son-in-law. Actually that was quite funny since he didn't particularly like her either. He only put up with her because of Rose.

He did a lot of things just because of "Rose", she pondered idly in third person. He took on a companion after years without one. He frequently revisited 2006 London. He chose odd and exotic places to stop in on - not just to help but to enjoy. He smiled… He laughed… she even spotted him dancing alone once, humming an indiscernible tune as he bebopped around the console… She wanted him always happy, always . She never wanted to see that frown he liked so much or the sorrow that was in his eyes. She wanted to change it. She wanted to make him happy, to keep him from forever being alone. She'd go to great lengths to get that, even if it meant her life in the end… he was worth it.

She considered for a second that she did, in truth, love him. That the butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her were attraction and not thrill. That the shudder under his touch was needing and not the effect of an alien caress. That the coziness and relief she felt to be beside him was affection and not habit… Was that why total strangers questioned their relationship? Was that why she would follow him anywhere, do anything, and try everything with him? Was that why being separated ached so rawly? She allowed her head to fall off to the side while her eyes clung to him. Could she stand to live her life without him? Without what he gave and who he was? Without the hum of the Tardis and the glint in his eyes? She had gone on holiday less than a week ago and had to experience life that way… could she do it again?

She sighed. There were so many questions unanswered and so many feelings unattended… she was about to explode. She was tired and sleepy from going a week without rest, she was nervous about being chased downtown, she was sad and dejected about being cast off by Mickey, she was guilty about hurting her mum, she was afraid of the Doctor not waking up, and to top it all off she was absolutely disconcerted that the effects of the Manipulator chip hadn't worn off. She had kissed the Doctor while under it's influence, and yelled at him… did that have anything to do with what she was taking into account now?

No. Rose Tyler knew the answer to that question. She had kissed the Doctor because she wanted to not because something told her to. She had also behaved her whole life similarly without the assistance of mind control. She had hugged him, shivered beside him, smiled at him, held his hand - all because she wanted to. Those things had nothing to do with the Manipulator and she would never be convinced that they did. She grinned. She had figured it out, it was easy. She did love the Doctor. She was completely, hopelessly, head over heels in love with Sir Doctor of Tardis and always would be! Suddenly it made sense all the things she had been lost on before. That WAS why she reacted so jealousy to any challenge for his heart, why she protectively watched over him, why she desired nothing more than the feel of his hand around hers… It was why she felt sad and guilty over her mum and Mickey, because she had moved on without them and never known for certain why. It was also why she hadn't slept in a week. She had spent many long hours thinking about him when the Manipulator had kept her awake!

"Damn," she murmured with a smile, "the world really does revolve around you… I'm out ten quid"  
Mickey was still comfortably lounging in silence, reading the manual innocently. She sauntered into the room grinning manically as she watched her pace in contained joy.

"What is it?" he demanded, keeping the anxiety from his voice when he looked up to see her.

"How long was I in there?" she asked. The smiled was so powerful she could hear it in her voice and Mickey didn't seem too pleased with that. She rounded the console. He checked his wrist watch, pressing the small buttons on the side to illuminate the digital face.

"An hour? I think. Not sure when we got in here," he replied slowly. "Why?"

"I just -- wanted to know…" she sang, biting her tongue between her teeth as she smiled, "… how long it too me to realize you're always right"

Past three AM the sounds of laughter finally dulled to a trickle. Mickey had taken to Rose's revelation very well, causing her to seriously question his state of health. He laughed it off with an explanation of how he had come to terms with the Doctor and accepted him for everything he was - even if it meant he was everything to her. Then they had laughed about her blind refusal and what her friends would think if they knew she had fallen for a alien this time. They tossed the Doctor's ball back and forth across the console for almost an hour in boredom. Mostly they were just happy to have found something to do. She idly chatted about how she'd tell him when he woke up what she'd learned and wondered what colorful reaction he might have. Mickey suggested the Doctor might not have the same feelings for her, something she had forgotten about in the course of her revelation and she forgot it was her turn to catch the ball. Brushed metal bounced off her face, leaving behind an agitated cut below her left eye. He apologized profusely for hurting her, vowing never to throw anything at her again, but the damage had been done. For the rest of the night, she dreaded that maybe she too would have to experience the Doctor's rejection first hand. She finally laid in the floor to stare at the dark nothingness of the ceiling, stretching her legs upward on the wall for support as Mickey advised they'd fall over while she slept and that she'd wake up sore if she didn't chose the couch. She ignored him.  
The Doctor blinked as the chamber glass lifted and the tubes/wire retracted from his skin. He winced at the uncomfortable sensation, but quickly smiled when he realized he was through. The full twenty four hours had gone by and with only one minor problem: a recurring fault in the data transmissions the Tardis referred to as the Bad Wolf Vector. It repeatedly kept rerouting to it until he finally surrendered. He assumed it was somehow related to Rose anyway and deemed it safe enough. She would never do anything to harm the Tardis -- not intentionally anyway.

Silently he looked down over his bare body, still coated in the foamy, snot colored stasis plasma that sustained his vitals until he was released. He made another, equally displeased face at the smell it emitted (sort of lemony with a hint of rotted fruit) and checked his chest for bruising. To his refreshed delight there were none and the ones he had shown off the previous morning had also been healed away. His smile was tapered however. Everything was working out well except for his still general gooey status and the horrible stench of rot. That had to go. Rose wouldn't want to come anywhere near him ever again if she smelled it. It was off to the showers with him.

Thirty five minutes later a brown pinstriped suit and white converse all-stars carried him toward the console room, smelling of clean linen and after shave. He ran a hand through his dry hair. He always loved perfectly groomed hair... at least with this body he did. Really his last body might have too if he had known how much Rose liked it. Entering the control room he fiddled with the rogue cow lick dangling over his forehead obsessively until something pink snagged the corner of his eye. Both hearts skipped a beat when he recognized the oddly strewn blond hair and bright pink top of Rose Tyler on the floor by the wall.

"Rose?" he whispered, almost in denial of what he was seeing. She was supposed to have spent the night with Mickey, having fun and being with her… boyfriend. Not lying in the floor of the Tardis like she was dead. When she didn't respond he rushed to her side and dropped to one knee. "Rose!" It was an order, a command to open her eyes and relieve him of his worries despite her stubborn parentage. Normally she would have listened to him, only him, but not that time.

He began to panic. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, couldn't fathom the chance that she was wounded within the Tardis. Yet - there she lay, tossed aside as though someone had slammed her physically into the wall and simply allowed her to drop without caring... Horrible images filled his mind of her being tortured while he deftly slept in the zero room chamber. ?  
How could he have let anything bad happen to Rose, how?? "Rose?" he pleaded this time, the name faint on his breath as his fingertips delicately found the softly swollen skin and dried blood of a cut under her eye. Her left wrist was bruised too, he noted vaguely.

Rose inwardly felt the sleep drift away though her eyes remained shut. She was weary and sore from the rather undesirable position she had fallen asleep in (what with her feet having fallen to the side during the night like Mickey had claimed they would… right again she groaned). She was also very reluctant to adjust beyond it, as that would only cause her to awaken further. She really didn't want that. She was in the middle of having a lovely dream about the Doctor whispering her name and was trying to cling to it rather than the nightmares that had plagued her earlier that night. Groggily she admitted defeat and stirred out of her unpleasant position, reaching thoughtlessly to rub the sleep from her eyes.

A reminiscent jolt of fear shot down her spine as a firm hand reached out to stop her. She sat upright with a yelp, transfixed on the feel of his hand around her wrist where the attacker's had been only hours before. She identified the hand as her Doctor's after a second, knowing all too well the way it felt but incapable of collecting herself enough to relax.

Realizing he'd grabbed her injured wrist he instantly let go, attributing her reaction to the wound. "It's me. Are you alright?" he tenderly questioned. She managed a stiff nod in response. It was the best she had to offer through her clouded thoughts. He swallowed as he watched her shiver before him, dread welling up beneath his skin. He couldn't figure out what had frightened her so bad. He had never seen that startled of a reaction from her before. He was even seriously considering protectively wrap her up in his arms to assure her of her safety with him.

"Um... What time is it?" she finally broke the silence. She was still struggling to regain composure, her voice hoarse from sleep. His eyes narrowed.

"Eleven. Are you alright??" he repeated less gently. The concern for her reaction and his own lingering fear of losing her earlier had tweaked his attitude toward disgruntled and she blinked up at him.

"Yeah? Why?"

"Because you looked like a scared rabbit when you woke up," snickered Mickey from the console, surprising them both. The Doctor's head whipped around to the boy who had once been his companion as the young man sat up in the pilot's chair. "Sore?" Mickey asked Rose.

"A little… I hate you when you're right," she muttered.

"You?" spat the Doctor incredulously. He hadn't yet gotten past the unwelcome presence of the boy in the room much less his interruption. "How long have you been there?"

"Since about..." Mickey glanced at his watch, "Oh hell! Best call ya mum Rose, you're about eight hours over due," he said. She nodded silently, still blinking away the remnants of sleep as she got to her feet. The Doctor followed suit, his jaw hanging ajar in bewilderment. Two minutes ago he was terrified she was seriously injured, watching her all but whimper in fear, and then she just gets up and ignores him??

"Jackie knows you're here too?" he cried, disbelief still roaring in his ears as he watched the girl dig through her jean pockets. It wasn't that he couldn't believe Rose would want to sleep aboard the Tardis, but that Jackie would ever let her was another story. She had told him on numerous occasions that it had something to do with needing time with Rose and feeling alone without her. He never once challenged that, knowing too well how it felt to be separated from her, but this time he was tempted.

"Yeah, course," replied Rose matter-of-factly. There was a hint of concern creeping into her voice as she eyed him. "S'not like we really had a choice to stay here, Doctor. It was the only place that felt safe at the time," she supplied. One of his eyebrows quirked.

"Safe? Why in the world would you need to be safe? What is going on here!" he demanded angrily. Mickey cowed in response, his large expressive eyes holding worry while Rose merely quirked her eyebrow back.

"Being rude again," she informed him tartly, the phone waiting unused in her left hand. Mickey was quiet and motionless in his chair. He knew very well the extravagant rows they could have over little things and judging by the tone of the Doctor's voice this was going to be one of those things. The last thing he would ever want to do would be to interfere. The Doctor would never hurt Rose.

"Good!" snapped the Doctor, his emotions brawling for dominance over his body as he glared at his companion. She stared back thoughtfully, her tongue pushing out the inside of her cheek as she watched his hands unconsciously clench and release at his sides.He was battling two emotions right then that she couldn't read. One, and he admitted it freely to himself: part of him was utterly aroused by the disheveled turn in her appearance. He had never really owned up to his physical attraction to her, but he never really denied it either. With her right hip cocked out in the very classic Tyler position, her hair feathered out around her face, and her clothes, wrinkled and loose, hanging off awkward places on her body… he could hardly keep his eyes from wandering...

The other part of him, the part very far from the latter, however, was stronger. He was much more disturbed by the gap in their communication lines than he was interested in the glint of her eye.

She narrowed said eye in thought, valiantly contemplating where she had experienced that particular shade of anger off him before. As realization dawned on her she grinned evilly.

"You're worried!" she accused and pointed victoriously at him. His fury dropped away, replaced with embarrassment and slight pride at the way she knew him so well.

"That is so beyond the point," he scolded, tossing his arms into the air melodramatically. He wanted to avoid full agreement and surrender if possible. He was still pretty aggravated at them. She giggled again at him, crossing her arms over her breast as his own smile tugged on the corners of his lips. He cleared his throat to strengthen his sobriety. "What happened? Why are you hurt? Why are you "here" (he added a gesture to the Tardis around him)? And what have I missed while in the zero room?"

"Zero Room?" she countered confused.

"Yes," he replied impatiently. "That's the name of the room where I was in the chamber. It was specially adjusted by the Time Lords upon the growth of the Tardis and others like it to be a sort of restore point for seriously damaged equipment. Now answer my questions…" His voice had fallen to a tone of seriousness and worry, a tone that left no room for argument and she obeyed.

Together they stood around the console, Rose and Mickey rambling swiftly the events of the night before. They went over the way their day was spent alone, the tidying up of the console room, and their after dark adventure. They also covered how Rose had ended up with such ugly bruises encircling her wrist and neglected the rather intense conversations they had shared on his behalf. He absorbed every word, glancing from one of them to the other and then back again whenever they traded off. He was noticeably relieved to discover that Rose had accidentally fallen asleep on the floor and was not attacked by some faceless maniac. He was also less noticeably relieved when he found out that the two of them had not been up to any romantic doings in his absence… even if they had, he didn't really want to know about it… he couldn't imagine her with another man… Otherwise he was somewhat perturbed that they had been chased so randomly on the street like that.

"I don't think they were human, Doctor," whispered Rose only loud enough that the Doctor could hear while Mickey toyed with the console. Secretly she was ashamed of her fear. Ashamed that Mickey and the Doctor might know she wasn't as strong as they believed her to be. That their opinions of her might somehow be lowered. His gaze held hers earnestly, trustingly.

"They don't sound it…" he assured, holding his volume low for the same discretion she had shown. Silently she blessed his supreme wonderfulness as he turned to face Mickey. "What about you, Mick? Did these guys give off any particular alien vibes to you?" the Doctor wondered. Mickey shrugged as he distractedly at the question, fiddling with a button on the console rather than paying attention. He'd already started to feel awkward between the two of them, the way he always felt when they were together.

"Seemed human enough to me."

"But -- Didn't you see their faces?" she suddenly cried out, winning a look of pure interest from the Doctor that she couldn't bare to face. She didn't know what he was thinking behind those chocolate eyes of his, but she knew that if she looked at him she would find out… and the answer might not be pleasant. "They were all - decomposing and menacing. They had this rancid breath that smelled like lemons and the sort of face you see in horror films… That wasn't just me, was it?" Her voice broke to the end of her statement as the confidence she'd felt petered out. What if she had only dreamed the horrible expression she remembered? What if she was so sleep deprived and exhausted from the use of the Manipulator chip that she was hallucinating? Could the Doctor read her hesitation?

"I never saw their faces. It was too dark," Mickey replied indifferent. "But c'mon Rose, they totally looked human! They didn't even pull any of that normal alien stuff."

"If you didn't really see them, then you can't be certain what they were," the Doctor retorted irritated. He really believed that if Rose was saying it, it was worth paying attention to and Rose was saying these men weren't human. Her astute perceptions had always held some truth in the past... The very suggestion of anyone challenging her was laughable in his opinion. Crossing his arms he looked to Rose. "You said they ran when they spotted the Tardis?"

"Well sort of. More like disappeared by the time we were to the doors."

He thought for a second, blankly staring out into the empty air around him. "Well…whatever they were they weren't normal… No, regular assailants would have kept after you - they always do. They have no idea what this police box really is and therefore have no reason to avoid it." Rose nodded in agreement. What he said was the truth. Perhaps she was just making a big deal out of a nightmare?

"That's what I said," grinned Mickey triumphantly. "With different words."

"That's a boy, Rickey!! You do have a bit of wits in you!" the Doctor laughed, patting him on the shoulder. Mickey grumbled about where he'd like stick those wits if he didn't lay off the stupid jokes and Rose grinned. The Doctor rounded on her purposefully, trained on intimidating the truth from her with every fiber of seriousness in his being. "What I still don't understand though, is how you got that cut -- under your eye," he continued, tenderly tracing it with his index finger. Rose swallowed and exchanged a rigid glance with Mickey.

"Well… see, Mickey and I were playing - with that silver ball you used to love so much? Yeah? And… well there was an accident and I - sort of…. Missed a throw," she explained lamely. The Doctor's eyes turned first, then the rest of him slowly faced Mickey."So you did that?" he demanded. "You threw a ball at her and hit her in the face??"

"I didn't do it on purpose! She said she missed didn't she?" Mickey squeaked.

"It doesn't matter. You still threw a metal object at your girlfriend and maimed her face!"

"Hey! It's not that bad," objected Rose, her fingertips feeling at it for affirmation.

"Firstly you say mean things to her and then you throw things at her??"

"It was a game! We were playing!"

"Playing? Like children? I left two unsupervised children on my Tardis???"

"Are you calling me a child?" Rose stepped in fiercely. The Doctor recoiled his disbelief only slightly.

"YES!" She glared harshly at him, trying to will the flesh off his bones with only the heat of her eyes. After all they had been through together, after all she was going through now over him, he still believed she was some stupid ape?? She hadn't already proved her merit to him yet? He glared back at her for as long as he could before his resolve cracked and shattered. His features relaxed and he moved closer to her. "I didn't mean that… it's just that --" What? Just what? He wavered as he thought. Its just that seeing you hurt kills me? Just that he hurt you and now I want to hurt him but won't? "-- it was such a stupid thing to do and now you're hurt."

"We all do stupid things," she returned. For a second he wondered if she was talking about the kiss she had shoved on him back in her bedroom and it stung ferociously. "But it was an accident… you do stupid things all the time just for the fun of it," she reminded him. "He didn't mean to do it, Doctor," she added softly. "I promise."

For a second they gazed at each, reading the other for any fault lines of weakness or lies and finding nothing. Really, neither of them ever expected to. Satisfied that the minor wound wasn't intentional the Doctor changed gears.

"So, who wants to check out that Manipulator?" he announced. Mickey almost moaned with relief as he giddily raised his hand.

"Oo - oo! I am!" he cheered, eager to make up for his apparent transgression. The Doctor fought bravely not to laugh and failed.

"Wait, what are we going to do about the guys who chased us?" said Rose. The Doctor languidly shoved his hands into his suit pockets and screwed up his face.

"Well, seeing as there's no proof that these men were nothing more than that - men. There's nothing we can do. There's not even a reasonable enough excuse to stick around here to find out. What you saw could've been your brain convincing you that that was what you saw because of the strong fear you had while it was happening and the correlating fear you felt in your dream. It merely made a transemblance of the picture of fear in your dream and told your memory that that was what you saw, thereby excusing your illogical fear."

"Oh."

"All I can say is that you should get to the police and inform them of the incident immediately. Actions like that should not be left unpunished… disturbs the balance of things," the Doctor informed Mickey, rocking on his heels. Mickey nodded dumbly and Rose wasn't so convinced. She wondered if he even truly believed what he was telling them.  
-  
Several moments and a scan of the destroyed manipulator chip later, the three time travelers zealously awaited a read out at the monitor on the console. Rose chewed quietly on her nails over the Doctor's hunched shoulders, thinking desperately over what exactly the data would reveal. Would it tell them she had complete control of herself all along? Would it blatantly say exactly what she was told to do? Would it put into words the things she had felt and who she had felt them for?

The Doctor could practically feel Rose gnawing on her nails behind him. He hated that habit. He had begged to her stop the last time they were locked up in prison together on Potthe three weeks ago and she had sworn she'd try. Obviously that promise was forgotten… but he wouldn't complain too much. It was just another thing that made her Rose. He snuck a glimpse of her over his shoulder with a smirk.

"Oh! Something's come up!" Mickey alerted, pointing at the screen where various ornate scribbles were scrolling up the frame. The Doctor pulled his eyes back to Gallifreyan analysis and began to read aloud for them.

"It's giving the average dosages for a human… hmm, all very normal… testosterone low, adrenaline moderate… all very typical…" he droned, skimming over the digits. "Now its giving us the original designated dosages that were inputted… wait, original??"

"What does it mean? There were more than one set of programs?" Rose queried.

"Seems like it. The original data says it was to send you ever decreasing levels of serotonin." He glanced at her, "to cause a deepening depression…" Rose swallowed hard, memories of her past week alone too vivid to ignore. The Doctor returned to the read outs. "There are other inputs, but mostly to similar lines. Guilt, rotating happiness that could come over very unnatural stimulus, physical pain… Ah, here's the active dosages as of the moment I found it…" The Doctor read silently for a while, his eyes following quickly over every unreadable symbol and his expression falling gravely.

"What??" she finally cried, ripping through the anticipation and tension his silence had created. The Doctor took a deep breath.

"The levels of serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and melatonin continue to reduce to almost catastrophic levels… at the rates these chemicals decreased you should be dead." She hid her emotions well from the two men before her, stonily nodding in understanding. On the inside though she was weeping like a scared baby over what could have been.

"Is it only giving you chemical names and levels or effects and side effects too?" questioned Mickey solemnly.

"It's a very scientific device. The inventors expected whoever received the read out to already have a knowledge of brain activity and functioning so what it gives of the rates, levels, chemicals, and percentages of change is supposed to tell you that… That could change still, we aren't done yet," he replied, eyes glued to the screen. "It seems the original dosage wasn't doing anything, at least not enough to affect your daily routines which was the goal, so the program was altered continuously to adapt to your amount of resistance. Which I'm proud to inform was a significant amount," he grinned. "It says here that the messages the Manipulator was sent were so ineffective that the entire set of chemicals in your brain had to be practically shut down to inflict any sort of change in you… these levels would kill anyone if they were administered as they were last transmitted." She could feel a lump growing in her throat, a sign of the tears she felt prickling the edges of her eyes. Someone had tried to kill her… would have killed her - if the Doctor hadn't saved her in time… and all she could do was look at the information in awe. The Doctor wordlessly gripped her vacate hand behind him, giving her the reassuring squeeze she had needed when they were being chased. She squeezed back."The best I can gather is that Rose was furiously fighting this foreign influence in her mind to the point that her body automatically raised the lowered levels back up and above regular standards, to normally unhealthy conditions in order to keep her alive. The human body however Isn't equipped to sustain that sort of war for any period of time and a trigger eventually cracked the dam, giving the concentration full reign over her body."

"Well that's Rose isn't it? Never does anything the way she's supposed to," joked Mickey with a grin. The Doctor snorted a laugh as Rose jerked back her hand in mock betrayal.

"Oi! So cheeky with me," she teased. Suddenly her cell phone went off, flashing the word MUM in all caps across the screen as it sang. "Oh m'gah! Mum!" she shrilled and answered the line quickly. "Hi Mum… yes we're alright… yes I promise… I'm sorry, we fell asleep. It's not like I didn't mean to call you back… the Doctor's awake… yes he's fine too…" she chattered tiredly, roaming around the room. The Doctor and Mickey meanwhile watched her with amused interest from the console. "No Mum, we're okay!… we're fine!…" she insisted, mouthing 'why me?' to the Doctor. He shrugged and lifted his eyebrows bemused. She began to head for the hallway just outside, quietly taking her mother with her. "We just had a bit of a fright, nothing to it… the Doctor says not even to worry about it, those guys were probably just--" and with that her voice faded from earshot. The Doctor shook his head resigned and turned back to the Manipulator data that had begun printing off the panel. He was growing accustomed to her domestics. The usual activities of her life had only become more endearing as he got to know her. He guessed it had a lot more to do with his love for her and little less to do with the domestics themselves.

"I guess I'll be off then. Got to be at work in two hours and if I plan to talk to the police before I get there I've best leave early," Mickey groaned. The Doctor nodded without looking away from the monitor. "Keep me up to speed on the manipulator would ya?" he requested. Again a detached nod.

"Certainly. I can't have Rose's family in the dark now can I?" he replied. "You lot'd kill me." Mickey sniggered an unspoken agreement despite his lessened concern for Rose and greater interest in the Doctor himself. He was focusing on something he needed to say, something he felt should be happening to give the Doctor his blessing, though the Doctor didn't really need it. He'd already had Rose for a long time. That only made it harder to place exactly what should be said.

Should he congratulate the Doctor on being the best man? No, cause then Rose would look like a trophy, something they both knew she truly was but that would only upset her. He could always just admit defeat… but the Doctor knew he had won the moment Rose went with him. Mickey studied the Doctor for a long second, reading his body language for any signs of what to say. He did want to be sure that the words he'd give would actually be taken by the timelord. Separately, the Doctor raised an eyebrow in mild irritation over Mickey's watchful eye and looked up.

"Yes?" he sighed, accidentally startling him from his reverie. The poor kid virtually had a heart attack at the sound of his voice.

"Well, see… it's just that…" he turned his eyes to the button that had occupied him earlier. "I have faith in you…" he murmured weakly without looking up. "She really cares about you." The Doctor gaped, his jaw ajar and his brain running a thousand miles an hour in attempts to decode what had just been said.

"Everything's fine," Rose proclaimed, reentering the room with her hands in her front jeans pockets.

"She's home then?" asked Mickey. He moved in to stand beside her. Rose shook her head, her eyes lingering on the Doctor's paralyzed expression and the curl of frustration in his upper lip that always showed up when he was confused.

"No, but she's heading there… Was on the tram when we hung up… uh Doctor.. are you alright?" she asked.

"Hm? Oh - yes. Yes yes, always fine," he muttered strangled, the full meaning of Mickey's words crashing heavily on him.

"…O- K?" She wasn't sure she believed him, nor that he believed himself. What had happened while she was gone? What had Mickey said? She tossed him a desperate glance of doubt, interrogating him in silence as he smiled.

"Right then, I'll see ya, Doc," said Mickey raising a hand. The Doctor raised his own with a good natured nod. To Mickey's benefit, the almighty Oncoming Storm seemed very much subdued. "Talk to you later, Rose," he then added, wrapping her up in a loving embrace. He squeezed tightly to remind her of their conversation and that he'd always be there for her.

She squeezed back, but hers was fear of letting go. She was afraid to be left alone with the Doctor… afraid to deal with his rejection so soon… afraid to move on into the day without knowing what Mickey had said while she was gone. With Mickey she had charted frontier she knew would never change… with her Doctor nothing stayed the same.

"'ey, would you mind stopping by the flat later? Just to check in on Mum for me?" she spoke over his shoulder. Mickey nodded into the crook of her neck, taking a deep breath before he pulled back."I've got the home front…" he promised. "You two just be careful!" he ordered, pointing accusingly at the Doctor as he made for the exit. The Doctor made innocent faces of incredulity, ignoring the slight glisten to the boy's eyes as he saw the doors close.

"Where's he off to so lively?" she asked. The Doctor shrugged aloofly, turning back to the console once again only to set their next coordinates. He was still having difficulty comprehending the weight of Mickey's gesture. The boy had grown so much in the short time he'd known him… the Doctor hadn't really noticed - until then. He was touched that Mickey trusted him so fully. That he was willing to give over the one thing in the world that meant the most to him to someone else… well even the best beings in the universe couldn't do that.

The Doctor regarded Rose as he reached for a lever. In her face he could see every ounce of happiness he'd experienced in ten lifetimes and every molecule of hope he held for future happiness in the days to come. Yet all he could think of was how badly he'd hurt Mickey and it pained him... He'd always known it had been him to come between them…

She was apprehensively gawping at the console lights trying to think of how to act with him when she felt his eyes on her. She looked up just in time to catch him spying and though he pretended to be looking past her she knew better and grinned. Just like it had been before he collapsed on her three nights ago. Perhaps things wouldn't change as severely as she feared. Perhaps there was a slim chance that the alien standing across from her really could view her romantically... On that prospect she built a foundation of courage with which to move around the controls to his left.

"Where are we going?" she mulled, trying to hide her anxiety. They had hardly had the time to wake up, much less to blast off into danger, but in all honesty, she shouldn't have been surprised. He gave her the smallest of smiles before turning to his right.

"To find out how a manipulator worked its way onto your head and who was trying to control you of course," he replied. He slowly sauntered around the controls pressing buttons and turning dials as he went. There was no real interest in it for him yet as the Tardis hadn't taken off and she followed blindly.

"Naturally," she smiled.

"Naturally," he chuckled, that time making eye contact. He set the date and time (she knew those controls well) and continued to move away from her.

Why was it that when he really felt guilty for being around her and just needed space, that she pressed in harder? Could she sense his doubt? His self reproach? Was that how she had managed to get so very integrated in his life without his consent, by doing it anyway? Did she know him that well? Every step she took behind him was hesitate. In the back of her mind he was sure there was something bubbling toward the surface that she only managed to keep down with well practiced over thinking.

"About that," she started, scratching the back of her neck nervy. He stopped wandering opposite her on the console, the heart beating in between them. "We never really got to - talk - about it and, I wanted you to know I'm sorry for how I behaved. I don't know what got into me - well I mean I do, at least what got ONto me, but still I - " His warm smile told her she didn't need to explain anymore, that he already knew and she could stop. So she did. Her eyes fell to the floor with a faint blush, trying to hide from him the plain vulnerability there. He was happy to see it, happy to know she felt the same way he did about it, and happy that he knew her as well as she seemed to know him… it was always in her eyes, he thought. Sometimes he could simply envision them and know what emotions were growing in that little brain of hers. It was like he could sense it, feel it even - at least to some degree. He leaned forward against the machinery.

"It wasn't really you per say. You were being… well manipulated seeing as there's a lack on a better term," he joked.

She chortled uneasily. What if she were to tell him right then that she loved him? Would he leave her? Would he find the tension on board too much and simply drop her off at the Powell Estate next chance he got? Could she live the rest of her life without knowing?

"Yeah, but I'm still sorry," she vowed, forcing her angst as far down as possible. She didn't have to do or say anything yet, she could still think on it for a while if she wanted. He'd never know the difference… He came around the console to stand in front of her, hands in his pant's pockets. A lopsided grin fought to lighten up the mood around them. She was positive that he knew she was hiding something from him. Positive that he was staring at her like that because he wanted to know… "I never should have yelled at you like that… I'm sorry. I wouldn't normally do that," she chattered defensively, hoping he would his suspicions. He allowed his playful air to slip off a little, those intensely dark eyes boring calmly into her skull.

He could always find passion there in her eyes. A bottomless pool of it, swimming with spirit and life that he could enjoy whenever he pleased. "I- I wouldn't normally kiss you either," she stuttered and he flinched, more than intended. That solved the issue then. Rose Tyler would never view him romantically, she would never want to kiss him and had never intended to to begin with. Despite the fact that he had just convinced himself that anything with her was better than anything without her - it hurt.

"Naw, It wasn't that bad," he assured sympathetically, boxing the pain away as he did so many other emotions. "I knew something was amiss when you lost it over me implying that you lead Mickey on…" he added and she smiled widely at the recent memory.

"Well, all I can say is thanks for knowing me so well then," she laughed and he answered with his own, weak smile. She was relieved by it, aside from the half hearted effort behind it. It told her that there wasn't anything they couldn't get through together, not if they tried, and that no matter how bad she felt for him they would always be together. It was encouraging and yet frightening in the same.

He couldn't bring himself to look away from her right then. To acknowledge that his love for her would perpetually remain one sided, that his lips would never graze hers in earnest, and that her head would never rest on his chest as she slept… it was too much to let go of all at once. So he held on to delusion a little while longer, pretending it didn't matter. Pretending that she was his for the taking and that would never change… She swallowed lightly in his trap, giving surrender to his overwhelming attentions without so much as a second thought. She was always so accommodating, his Rose - always so devoted to whatever he desired…

He could see everything in her eyes. Everything he'd ever wanted to see and never thought he could see. Everything she didn't say aloud and everything he wished she would. There was happiness, tinged with an odd variety of sadness about the edges, a combination that openly offered welcome and compassion to others by empathizing - something she'd given him. There was hope, affection, devotion, fear, and awe, adoration, respect, desire and stubborn will - all there in her stare and, for the first time in a long time, he felt his inhibitions cracking under duress.

How long had he been staring at her? How long had they been silent whilst their eyes held the conversation for them? How long would his cravings for her grow until he died beneath their weight?

He wanted to kiss her, wanted to feel her against him the way he had in her room. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go. His palms were itching with restraint. "D-Doctor?" she whispered and a tremor ran down his spine. It was suddenly evident to him that if he didn't reign in his emotions then, that something terrible would happen between them. Something he was sure he would never forgive himself for.

"Right! So off we go then?" he chirped and ceremoniously rounded the console to put space between them. He couldn't look at her again, not if he planned to control himself, and he did. "Every manipulator put into creation was given a general serial code and individual statistics like a sort of finger print to identify it by, just like humans have -only with the manipulator it's binary data is engraved into its brain." Rose turned to look at him over her shoulder. She hadn't moved when he walked away. She'd stayed glued to the spot hoping that he might come back, that he hadn't just rejected her without a single word… but he kept talking. "Now the chip that came off you is no different." He pressed on in false cheer, his hands nimbly wandering the controls. She could see it. She could tell he was trying to hide something from her, trying to mask some terrible emotion he didn't want her to see. It was only her curiosity that proved strong enough to lift the hurt off her face and return her to his side.

"The TARDIS can read this information clearly," he said, lifting a yellow sheet of paper into the light as she came nearer. "This would be the print out version… all we do is follow it straight to the manufacturer on the given development date and start asking questions." He handed her the paper for her personal inspection and bent to look at the monitors. "Which looks to be Russia, circa 3345. Hm, not so bad a year if you had to chose one I suppose." He flashed her an empty grin of defeat, but she wasn't looking at him anymore. Her eyes had trickled down to the console and he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. There she'd been - the one woman he wanted more than anything, the one person who had changed his entire life - and he had turned away from her, callously changing the subject in the midst of a heated moment that he had instigated. She was still fragile after a week under the chip's influence. He was wrong to indulge in his own emotions when she needed his understanding.  
-She listened when he spoke, barely scanning over the oddly shaped numbers and symbols on the read out he'd given her. None of it felt real. None of their usual banter made sense. It was all an effort to cover up what had happened before and she wasn't sure she wanted to. He had been so close to doing what she yearned for, to saying the things she would die to hear… at least she had thought he was. She couldn't understand what had caused him to throw himself into reverse so abruptly. There had been, for all appearances, something mounting between them until then. The only possible thing she could come up with to explain it was a lack of romantic interest on his behalf, but even then his behavior wasn't right. If anyone knew the Doctor, it was her, so if he truly wanted to gently let her down she would know. This was nothing like that. It seemed almost like he was trying to let himself down instead? Was that it? Was he convincing himself out of loving her? Because if that was true, she would have to remedy the situation immediately.

"It does seem, however, that there is a 'slight' flaw in that thought process," he interrupted with a sigh. She looked up. "The restoration procedure can utterly deplete any source of main and back materials in the ship's supply. Meaning that, as we didn't have much to start off with, we now have even less… there's practically no fuel or supplies … left… on board. What?"

"What?"

"You were looking at me just then."

"You don't want me to look at you?" she asked coyly and batted her eyelashes ever so lightly. He squirmed under her stare, knowing something dangerous lay within them for him.

"No, I don't mind but - " She closed the space between them quickly and pressed her lips gently into his before he could finish. It was intentional this time. She wanted him to know exactly how she felt about him and it took every ounce of courage she'd ever possessed.He responded immediately, lips moving slowly while his hands swiftly cupped the edges of her face. It was one more chance for him to hold the sweet purity of Rose in his arms again and before he'd have to let it pass. So he indulged. For one more instance his control slipped and he dwelled in the electricity of her kiss -- until his brain screamed for him to stop. She had done this twice before, once recently, and neither of those times had been purposeful. He was crazy to believe it was any different then. He was also wrong to take advantage of it. He wretched away bitterly, avoiding the hurt on her face as he had before, knowing that one glimpse of it could break his resolve. He placed four fingers to the sides of her temples to investigate her mind and whatever had it taken over that time.

"Doctor?" she questioned, when he neglected to explain. He grunted in response, his countenance warped in a way she wasn't used to and a tragic concentration pouring off of him. He wasn't going to dig deep. It was her mind, not his, and she would feel greatly invaded if he did. She did deserve an explanation however, he realized with delay

"Mind control or possession… I'm checking for anything that could've made you do that… kabflax perhaps, " he added in that thoughtful way she knew held no intent of showing off.

"Kabflax?" she questioned again, hiding a smirk. He truly didn't know how she felt! The man must've been blind and deaf surely.

"It's a serum that induces psychotic behavior in humans, but cures sysroistra in - 'partial humans'," he answered quietly. "Not that I'm calling you psychotic," he promised as his hands returned to his sides. She grinned teasingly at him.

"Oh. So no mind control then?" The Doctor crossed his arms baffled. He had found nothing more than a lingering side effect of the Manipulator chip and it all it would ever do was give her hallucinations, not make her randomly kiss people.

"No." His replied serious. The expression on his face could've told her that, but she retained her smile. Realization dawned on him much too late. "That was you?" he awed. The question, so pregnant with meaning and feeling, came out completely small and hesitant from him. She didn't think him capable of it. Yet, he was doing a lot of things lately she never would've expected. He could read the answer in her eyes, though he hid his excitement. "How long?" She fidgeted anxiously, knowing the answer would probably lead her to more rejection than he'd already dealt her but never wanting to hid anything from him.

"Forever?"

"…and Mickey?" The words stung.

"… We - sort of broke up last night…" she whispered. "He kept saying he was tired of standing in the way and… that I'm really in love with you." She glanced at him, hoping that he wouldn't pace away in the typical manner of his avoidance. Sometimes she knew him too well for her own good.

"In love with me?" he repeated astounded and she had to forcefully squelch a giggle. His jaw dangled limply at the idea and he was shocked to say the least. She couldn't tell rather it was good shock or bad shock, but either way she didn't want to take the chance. So she did what every respectable Tyler woman would do with their dignity on the line, she pretended it hadn't happened.

"Isn't that crazy? I - " but she never completed her sentence. He silenced her with a firm hand on the small of her back, jerking her into him as he gazed heatedly down on her. She swallowed hard at the darkened intensity of his gaze and the new feel of his double heart beats against her chest. This was a look she had never seen before and probably never would again. His arms tightened possessively.

"Rose… are you in love with me?"

She smiled nervously at him. "I already told you," she scolded. "- forever." He didn't wait for anything else to be said. In a flurry of kisses he passionately claimed her lips beneath his and squeezed held her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck immediately, feeling him shudder beneath her touch as she offered up parted lips. Eagerly he accepted the invitation, sliding his tongue slowly in and over the roof of her mouth making her moan. The very sound told him that it was real, that they were really kissing of their own accord and really liking it.

She suckling at the new talented appendage in her mouth, her fingers running roughly through his hair. He leaned in for more, desperate to know every flavor of her lips as she lost her balance. Together they stumbled back, the console being the only thing that prevented them from tumbling furiously into the floor. She broke from him with a surprised giggle and he rested his forehead against hers.

"Wow," she rasped, her lungs crying out for oxygen. He nodded agreement. She toyed with his hair for a moment more, trying to put words together to describe how she felt as the Tardis rumbled contentedly beneath her. "Wow," she repeated and he smiled from ear to ear. Somehow she knew how happy he was, how utterly relieved and grateful he felt even though he hadn't said a word.

"I know!" he whispered.

"So then… I take it this means - you're in love with me too?" she goaded, bringing him back to conscious thought and placing a frown over that lovely grin. His eyes held discomfort and sadness as he sucked some air in through his teeth dramatically.

"Well… I suppose. Seeing as you didn't really leave me any other choice now did you?" She lifted her chin stubbornly, the joy flooding her veins held down.

"Can't say that I did," she replied. He gripped her to him again, pressing her pelvis into his lower chest as he suffocated the conversation with his kiss. She melted into him languidly.

"AH! I just - I just feel like screaming!!" he cheered suddenly, breaking away from her and twirling with his arms in the air. She laughed out right as he then danced around the controls, smiling that smile that wouldn't go away, that would always be there for her. "I mean can you believe it??" he cried, circling back to face her. "You and me?? In love? The two of us?? Like regular people?!" She laughed again and shook her head.

"Nope." He beamed at her lovingly, keenly aware that no one would ever replace her, no one would ever be better than her… she was it. She was that once in a lifetime love and that once in a million person. Her thirst for adventure, her adoration of life, her use of sarcasm to make the hardest things easier… there would never in the existence of time be another Rose Tyler…

"You are just - fantastic." he cooed, staring at her. "Just absolutely, positively, bloody fantastic… You know that?" She slid off the control panel he had held her against seconds before and moved to stand beside him.

"I have heard that," she answered cheekily.

"Rightfully so. Because its true," he chuckled dumbly as he turned to set some new coordinates. "I've met a lot of people Rose, a lot, and never has there ever been anyone more suited to that word than you… Have you ever thought about changing your name to it?" She sank back into the pilot's chair behind him, preparing for the inevitable lift of the time machine and watching him intently. She ignored the joke. Finding out what he was up to was far more interesting.

"Where are we going?" He turned back to face her with his hands in his pockets.

"Well," he started, rocking back and forth on his feet. "We were going to go ahead and check out that manipulator chip that found its way behind your ear. I mean really, I can't just let people go around controlling you now can I? But now my little Rose, I think we'll make a stop off first." She raised a curious eyebrow of concern.

"At?"

"If I told you that'd ruin the surprise," he retorted wickedly. "But what I can tell you is this," he added, leaning over her so that his hands were on either side of the chair. "Its not to see your mother." She smirked deviously at him, knowing full well where he was going with that, and guided him toward her by the knot in his tie.  
-The Tardis touched ground moments later with both time travelers still snogging by the console. The Doctor was bent over Rose in his pilot's chair, aimlessly reveling in the taste of her kiss. He had managed to get between her legs along the way and was caressing the side of her face and was too distracted to notice. Rose, on the other hand, was very aware the ship had landed. She was intensively curious as to what sort of surprise he had thought up and tried to pull away until he followed her.

"We've landed," she chuckled weakly between kisses.

"I don't care," he retorted and she had to stop him before he kissed her again.

"But shouldn't we like, go see what's going on outside though?" she reasoned. He almost growled with frustration, his nostrils flaring impatiently.

"No."

"But - I really wanted to see my surprise," she pleaded and he glowered at her unhappily as though she had just denied him his favorite candy. She pouted back.

"Aw c'mon Rose," he begged, throwing a new distressed tone into his voice to make her cave. She gave him her best 'pretty please' bat of the eyes, the one that always convinced him to do something he shouldn't do just because she wanted him to and he groaned. He knew that face. He didn't like that face. "Oh FINE," he groaned. Rose clapped her hands overjoyed.

"Yay!" He wandered away to the console to check the read outs.

"You might want to get changed though," he added. She jumped out of the chair and placed a sweet peck on his cheek before running for the hall.

"I'll only be a minute," she promised and immediately was out of view. When she was out of earshot he slumped back into the chair defeated, grinning like a wild man at the prize he'd won. She would never know what she could do to him.

It didn't take her long to come barreling back into the room. She beamed cheekily at him from the doorway, cheeks flushed from hurrying and eyes glittering with mischief. She had put her hair back up into the ponytail, saving her a little on time, but her clothes had changed. He noted with satisfaction the tight blue jeans she wore and the long sleeved white top that she had jazzed up with a red zip up fleece vest. His only concern was that she'd be too warm on the planet's surface. He grinned back at her, throwing on his coat and excitedly heading for the door.

"Close your eyes," he ordered before she could reach him and she stopped herself from taking his hand. Instinctively they went her to hips instead.

"Why would I do that?" she demanded.

"Because I said so. Do it," he insisted. She huffed but did as told and he grinned again. He'd like to see anyone else try taming her the way he did, they'd die half way through.

"Am I gonna have to slap you for this 'surprise'?" she asked suddenly and his laugh escaped before he could stop it. She peeked an eye open to look at him curiously.

"No, you aren't," he assured, gently dragging his thumbs over her eyelids to close them back. She obeyed the silently repeated order, standing more rigidly to mirror his seriousness. He smirked. "To which I am particularly glad, as I haven't yet forgotten my last encounter with a Tyler slap." A snort of laughter ripped through her then and he took her hand. "Keep them closed," he added.

Rose allowed the Doctor to guide her out of the Tardis without hesitation. She trusted him, perhaps too much, but she trusted him. It was only on the last step, the one that let her down out of the ship, that she faltered. It caused her to slide forward and he had jump in front of her before she hit the ground. She heard him sigh that "stupid ape" sigh in her left ear and felt his arms shiver with adrenaline. Her eyes snapped open to glare at him.

"Well its not like I could -- see or anything--" she tapered off. "Wow…" Her words fell short of any real emotion, dangling at the end of her lips as her jaw hung open. Bewildered he turned to see what stopped her.

"What? What're you looking at??" he demanded, eyes roaming over sky and land.

"The sky."

"Yeah? What about it. Haven't you ever seen a sky before? And I told you to close your eyes."

"Its purple," she insisted.

"Yeah but its still just a sky."

"Its purple," she repeated indifferent to his attitude, watching as gray clouds rolled by.

"Well if I had thought you'd be so fixated on something that simple I would've shot for somewhere a little less expensive," he groaned, sliding his hands into his pockets. She looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?" He gestured behind her with his head, telling her to turn around and see for herself the beauties that awaited her. She almost fell over again. There, just beyond a field of yellow grass and nested in front of a horizon of blue mountains was the most spectacular site he'd yet to show her. Hovering cars zoomed by and danced in the sky as clouds poured rain on and off on cue. Balloons and people did tricks in the air and raucously played music wafted up to her. It looked like a carnival, a gigantic city sized carnival full of dazzlingly colors and twinkling lights. Screams whimpered in from the rides, wailing in all directions all over the city while smells of exotic foods and drinks sailed up at them like waves. Cheering reverberated less audibly from all corners of the visible land. "Oh my gawd," she whispered awestruck. "That… that's… its beautiful! Where are we??"

"The Nabuck galaxy, about oh 50 thousand light years from earth on a little planet known the universe over as Orleans. It's the first planet of its kind, devoted entirely to the preservation and growth of fun and party, stretching the size of … Saturn I think would be closest." He moved to stand next to her, inclining his head her direction as he spoke. She listened intently, never taking her eyes off the scene in front of her while he preened ecstatically at her elbow. "That there in front of us would be called Ong-NAK," he emphasized. "Largest city on Orleans and record holder for largest carnival like environment for hundreds of galaxies… though I think Reblar is trying to take away that title…" he trailed off in thought.

"Hold on, Orleans?" she questioned, looking at him with a full smile. He smiled back, his train of thought abandoned to whim. "Like New Orleans? On earth?"

"The very same. You see Ong-nak is also Orleans' capital and holds the majority of the planet's control structure. Here they decide on advertisements throughout the universe, security over the planet, where to import food from, radiation level adjustments, etc. and one day they thought to expand, to make a sister planet in another end of the universe where they could increase their profits for lesser developed civilizations."

"And they targeted earth?"

"That's right! They landed smack dab in the middle of the Mexican mountains with their delegation team, ran into some friendly American explorers who they eventually made their mark on and then left"  
"Wait, if they left what happened? Why'd they leave?" The Doctor took her hand again and started walking toward the city below, swinging their arms enthusiastically as she gazed at him.

"Well, they also ran into other explorers that weren't so friendly."

"The Mexicans?"

"Nah, Mexicans don't really care about aliens. Quite fascinated with them actually. Anyway, they were Germans, well future Germans. Gave them a decent fight for the times and sent them running home with their tails between their legs. That moment on all Orleans gave up the idea of a sister planet."

"So the Americans named the city after the aliens they met?"

"Yup. And many of the original travelers hung around to try and make it worthy of the title."

Rose laughed so hard that she jerked him forward with her. "That's fantastic!!" she piped.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Toward the evening they had ridden at least 30 different rides until Rose got so motion sick she vowed to rip his arm off if he tried getting her on another. He surrendered bemused and opted to introduce her to the self proclaimed 'orgasmic' shopping experience on the outskirts instead. He lived to regret that decision after sitting by a wine fountain for three hours waiting on her to come back out. She waved at him from a window in each store she entered, joyously pointing to the new article of clothing she didn't really need but was going to purchase anyway. It was growing on the fourth hour when he finally gave up and followed her into a designer store. She quickly dumped all her bags into his arms and ignored the way the weight of them dropped his height by an inch.

"What in the world did you buy, a small factory?" he screeched in disbelief.

"Sort of. I got mum's Christmas, birthday, anniversary and anytime gifts ahead of schedule. I got Shireen an adorable little red dress with -- "

"Who all did you buy for???"

"Well, lesse… me… Mickey, mum, Shireen, cousin Sarah, auntie Gorge, uncle Paul, Bev (the pot simply screamed her name) and I think great aunt Clara… can't remember. And before you ask," she started just as he opened his mouth to exclaim his outrage, "I didn't buy just clothes. I got some books, some albums, some clothes, candles, music, movies, cards, um…." she twisted up her lower lip in thought.

"How much did you spend??" he squeaked. Hadn't he explained how expensive this planet was???

"Only about $3000, no big… right?" she replied and turned to face the new rack of clothes on her right.

"No big?? Rose, that's a lot of money!"

"And? You can get unlimited funds can't you?"

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I SHOULD! What if somebody realizes that money's just gone missing and connects the dots that it was all being spent by some puny earth ape from the year 2006 on clothes? I can't just go around doing whatever I want, Rose. It draws far too much attention!"

"You think I don't know that? Its not like I was trying -- hold on. Puny earth ape?"

"Oh you knew what I meant! You can't get all of this. Take some of it back"  
"But - but -" she pleaded, breaking out her puppy face once again.

"No buts, Rose. It's too conspicuous."

"But - I like the things I bought… I got you something too," she pouted, staring him in the eye. The muscles in his jaw tightened against her efforts and she knew she was breaking through his barriers. Several store employees, some in human appearance - most not, glanced at the two, but she paid them no mind.

"It doesn't matter, that's way too much money… What did you get me?" he added, rummaging through the bags. If she got him more boxers with bananas on them he wanted to know now. She snatched them shut to keep his eyes from snooping.

"I'm not gonna tell you! You're making me return them!" she snapped.

"Oh c'mon!"

"Nope."

"Just a little?" She giggled at the lovable way his face curled up when he whined but retrieved the rest of the bags from his grasp and headed for the return counter, nose in the air. The employees who had been watching with amusement snickered as she went past.

"Unh unh. You'll just have to wonder," she replied. He lingered behind her for a second, brain running on empty as to how to out think her when she was so precisely under his skin. Sometimes he hated that girl!

"Fine! You can keep the stuff… now just tell me what you got me!" he demanded, rushing along behind her as a couple of blue women chuckled knowingly at him and he blushed.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"How much longer are we going to shop??" he moaned and let his head drop into his hands. He was sitting in a soft recliner by the shoe department of Faxco Inc. while his beautifully disshelved companion sat in the floor surrounded by shoes. He was beginning to think Rose was obsessed. Five hours now, five! They had been shopping for FIVE hours. He was a patient man when it came to Rose but even that had a line. She looked up at him questioningly as she hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"I'm sorry? I didn't hear you… these shoes are just too awesome! Check it out, a little mock society in the heel of this shoe! How interesting is that???" she chattered, holding it up for him to see. He rolled his eyes. "Doctor?"

"How can you shop for five hours? Scratch that. How can anyone shop for five hours? I mean really it's unnatural… you're unnatural Rose Tyler!" She smiled sincerely at him, the way a teacher smiles at a student.

"Please! This stopped being about shopping long ago. Now its more like… a school field trip," she replied, "and an enjoyable one at that." She put the shoe down and lifted another to inspection. He gazed at her transfixed. He had thought she was just shopping to be shopping, going fanatical over all the cute merchandise and stellar sales, but he hadn't considered the rarity that was Rose. She wasn't like normal people. She did things far more different and surprising than even he expected and that was saying something. First she had learned Gallifreyan just to make life a little easier on the Tardis, then she spends the whole afternoon sitting in stores and watching fellow customers simply to learn more about the culture? He was impressed, and not for the first time. "You're bored aren't you?" He blinked, pulled back to real time by her voice. His response was a dull stare and she giggled. "You've already seen all this, it's all new to me! Its all so beautiful and different. Everything here tells a story, everywhere we go tells a story. I guess I just got caught up in it…" she apologized whole heartedly. He sighed.

"Well you've got that right. Everything has a story. There's a lot to learn out there and this is just the tip of the iceberg… do you plan to spend your whole life sitting and learning?" he lectured. She scoffed affronted.

"Like you can talk, Mr. Throw Yourself In It's More Interesting That Way. I suppose you can think of something more fun?"

"Like having every finger nail slowly removed, one at a time?"

"Why are you even here? I thought you hated 'shopping'," she muttered.

"Well I didn't think you'd be this long," he retorted sharply and readjusted their now armada of bags.

"Oh you're full of it!" she countered, tongue between her teeth. "You're just here because you love me. And - I'll bet," she deduced, "you don't really care so long as I'm happy." There was too much confidence in her voice for his comfort and so he shot back with a defensive: "Liar" before any silence could sit between them. She grinned at him. "But fair is fair. I'm willing to bet you can think of something much more fun to do that doesn't involve sitting…can't you? Somewhere in that big brain of yours? A place like this has to have fun things to do, yeah?" With the way she had said it he honestly believed the immensity of his intelligence turned her on, but then again, there were stranger things in the universe than an intellectually stimulated human female. He eyed her suspiciously. Was she coming on to him? Was that even her intent or was she toying with him? His stony features revealed nothing of thoughts and she hated it. Without warning he turned toward the door and started walking. "Doctor?" No response. "Where are you going?… Doctor?" She threw the shoes back into the floor and leapt to her feet shouting an apology to the employee who would have to clean it up as she raced out the door.-  
"Alright… you win! I surrender. This place is absolutely beautiful. I admit it, you're the surprise king," she cooed. The Doctor chuckled lightly, bouncing her head on his chest. He had brought her to the most romantic spot in all of Orleans, Shimmer Falls. There he stretched out on his coat in front of the largest waterfall cluster of the group and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arm snuggly over his torso.

Colored lights, very similar to those of the park before, sparkled and moved behind their crystal green curtain of water. It reminded her of a ballet or a poem… anything carefully constructed for elegance and wonder. The bags, or rather the things Rose had collected with her unlimited spending capabilities, were set to the Doctor's right in the shade of an oddly shaped tree, while their owners soaked up any remaining warmth from the setting sun. The Doctor's eyes traveled upward to the evening sky. The rich black and blues had always captivated him about that place. "Oh I dunno," he finally replied. "You're pretty beautiful… and you're always doing something to surprise me… I say we share," he grinned. She lifted her head enough to turn and face him, playfully digging her chin between his pecks as he winked at her cheekily.

"Deal," she blushed. "Now, tell me something."

"Shoot."

"Why did you bring me to the most romantic spot in Ong-nak?" she smirked. It was his turn to blush then, unwittingly giving away his thoughts. He looked back to the sky again.

"Not just Ong-nak, but all of Orleans. And who said this was the most romantic spot?" he asked seriously. She frowned. He was right. There had been no signs advertising it as such and he hadn't called it that… So how had she known? And how had she known how he felt in the Tardis? It had been like reading his emotions off a book… To hide how much those thoughts disturbed her, she chose another topic.

"So it is the most romantic spot?" He looked back at her with a lazy smile.

"Of course it is. Where else do you think I'd take you? I mean this is the best place to get a good snog," he answered and she gasped in shock of his boldness. The Doctor was cunning that way, thinking when no one else was. Pushing herself up on her elbows she crawled suggestively toward his lips.

"You sly dog, you!" she taunted, dangling her mouth over his as bait. He was weak when it came to her, a fact she liked very much. He lifted his head immediately to take it and she shivered. He couldn't hold out even for a second, she thought evilly. She, on the other hand, could hold out for much longer. She took a breath before responding.

Two hours later, once the sun had finally set and they had finally stopped snogging, the Doctor sat up to face the falls while Rose laid in his lap fast asleep. He didn't mind at all. The position kept him close to her and out of mischief while she was asleep… and occasionally a planetary employee would stop by to service the area and bring him refreshments. The first time, Rose had been awake to see them. She asked countless questions about why they were half pink - half orange, why they spent their entire lives in servitude, and if there was space on the planet reserved for their homes. He had answered them as best he could. He knew that Orleans had a moon on which all Orleaningian natives lived and that they commuted there every day in different shifts. Also that they were half pink/orange due to the opposing polar levels of radiation on said moon and that some of them were even radioactive. He didn't know how they spent their lives though. Really he didn't care. They appeared happy enough from the few conversations he'd had with them and if there had been a problem he would've picked up on it before then. It was when she asked if they were in any danger of becoming radioactive themselves that she finally passed out. He had to chuckle at her. She should've known better by then that he'd never intentionally take her somewhere dangerous without telling her first. 


	8. Chapter 8

"that was fun," Martha murmurs sarcastically as the doors shut behind her. The doctor has already approached the console to set a new heading. They always do this, set off for a new world, save it, and then set off for another. She gets tired of it from time to time and this is one of those times. He doesn't look at her, doesn't respond. Only she can barely make out a grumbling answer:

"she loved it."

"So where to this time? Do we get a breather?" she finally sighs. It had been almost a year of traveling with the doctor and though he was perky and intelligent enough she was growing ill with these bursts of melancholy at random moments in time.

"Where would you like to go?" he chirps, acting like he didn't know she heard him before. Martha screws up her elegant dark features and then smiles.

"The rose room," she smirks. He scowls. She knows full well that the Tardis will not allow her inside that room and that he would never dream of doing it himself, but she's never known why. Was he a collector of flowers?

"Martha…"

"Oh come on! I just want a peek! I know you go in there," she begs, "I've seen the door shut behind you late at night." He blinks at her flatly. He won't portray the anger he feels or the sadness at her differences from his last companion. She would've asked him on it the instant he left the room, not waited several weeks.

"No." He doesn't elaborate, doesn't have to. He owes this girl nothing. She's never saved his life, never noticed the fault lines first, never so much as asked to learn the controls… "We'll go to… hmm…" he actually ponders on it, wondering if they do need a holiday or not.

"DOCTOR!!" He looks around suddenly at the call of his name. Martha does the same. With no one inside the Tardis that meant the call must have come from the outside. He steps around the console nervously. Not often to people approach his ship calling his name… Martha moves toward him slowly. She's disturbed by the change in events as well the change in his demeanor. She had learned quickly to react with his emotions rather than to them. There's a scraping at the door and he doesn't move, only waits. Whoever they are, they want in. "I'm - I'm home! I'm… Tardis…" He hears her voice before the door opens fully, notes her words with frightful concern. Then suddenly she falls through the door and lands heavily on the grates below, blond hair spilling around her. He recognizes her, in an instant he recognizes her, but he won't move. He won't agree that this is happening, that he isn't dreaming. How many times has he seen her in his room at night? How many times did he look over in the light of the Tardis and see Rose instead of Martha reading on the couch.

"Doctor?" It's Martha's silent question that wakes him.

"Do you see her?" he asks cautiously. Martha nods, afraid to open her mouth again. The doors still stand open, propped against her limp legs as she lies motionless on the ramp. He's shaking and he doesn't know it. Martha does because she's watching him, intent on every bizarre emotion she sees on his face. He isn't the type to be effected by women, he never even so much as double glances at them unless they have blond hair… perhaps that is why he's paying this one so much attention. She glances at his hands and sees his fingers clench into a fist before opening back up. This happens repeatedly, as though something belongs there that's gone missing. He also isn't the type of alien to show emotion and the heartbreak she sees hidden in his eyes is no longer buried. "Rose?" he whispers the word as though it could demolish the universe if spoken too loudly. "ROSE!!!!" this time it sounds practiced and is full of an emotion she never knew him capable of : love. He races over to her side, practically falling as he almost lays next to this girl on the floor. "Can you hear me? Are you in there? Wake up!" he demands, his hand gently slapping the sides of her cheeks. Martha comes to them slowly, perching herself at the end of the rail for safety. She's still not certain of this newcomer or the way he's acting.

"Please… don't do this to me," he pleads with tears in his voice. She's surprised when he tenderly moves a blond strand of hair from the girl's face and gazes at her deeply. "Screwdriver," he finally mutters and leaps back to his feet. Martha follows him to the opposite side of the console to retrieve it, desperately wanting to ask questions, but reluctant with his mood so disheveled.

They come back around the console and there she is, standing. Her blond hair back in place, her eyes roaming over the steal interior of the time machine. She's leaning against the doors that she closed and her mouth is agape. "Rose?" the doctor says that word again with the screwdriver ready in hand and Martha wonders if that's the girl's name.

"Doctor?" The strange child's face lights up in pure joy with only a hint of sorrow. She notices that the girl has been crying, that her eyes are red and swollen and her nose is pink at the very tip. This person obviously knows the Doctor, but who is she? What's going on? "Doc--" and before the girl can finish the word he rushes her, literally runs across the platform to envelope her in his arms. She wraps her own arms tightly around his neck and leaps into him, her feet dangling off the ground as he holds her up. He swings her feet back and forth much the same as long lost loved ones do on reunion.

"You're real," Martha hears him choke out softly and the girl nods, unable to speak through her refueled tears. He knows her answer, he can feel it against his neck. "Rose… oh Rose!" he chuckles, squeezing her tighter to him. They stand motionless and wordless for several more seconds, him holding her up to his height and her whimpering into his shoulder. Then he sets her down, never taking his arms away from her, and stares into her eyes. "I never thought I was going to see you again," he finally says. She gives a snort of laughter and grins.

"How many times must I prove your wrong?" she asks before the laughter takes over.

"This is it, this is it I promise," he laughs and again his eyes don't leave hers. "I love you," he declares suddenly. It takes both females in the room off guard.

"What??" Rose shudders.

"I love you! I never got to say it before and it can't go another second without being said. Rose Tyler I'm so in love with you I don't' know what to do with myself!" He smiles, jubilantly proud of himself and her reaction, but she takes him and Martha by surprise yet again. Before they can blink she's pushed herself forward and claimed his lips as her own. He's shocked, stunned even as he returns it. His hands wandering over her back as she deepens their first true kiss. Finally he retracts from her, grinning maniacally. "Cheeky," he jokes. She laughs out right and nods in agreement.

"Yeah… I can only hold it in so long and it's been four painful years," she explains. "How long for you?"

"Eternity," he says quickly and she gives him a look commanding he give a real answer. "Ten… and seven months." She places a hand on his face to comfort him and satisfy her need for touch. Neither seem to care that Martha still watches on nor that how Rose ended up on Brackia three in the year 500 hasn't been brought up. Inaudibly they've decided to live the lie for as long as possible, without holding it up to reality.

"Um… sorry, but what's going on Doctor?" Martha at length pipes up. The Doctor jerks around in Rose's grasp as though he'd forgotten she was in the room and smiles at her overjoyed. Another emotion she was unaware the alien contained.

"Martha, meet Rose Tyler… my girlfriend," he supplies, almost cracking up at the very domestic title. Rose gives a similar reaction but appears fond of the label.

"OOoo," she giggles. "An upgrade! Seems like only yesterday I was your companion. Nice to meet you Martha. Who are you?" she adds, getting directly to the point of her jealousy. The Doctor's face falls serious as he remembers how protective she is of him and of how much attitude Martha had throw into a punch. The last thing he wants to do is fix up Rose's face after a chick fight.

"I'm the Doctor's assistant. Martha Jones… um, been here for… what a year now Doc?" Martha gives it genuine thought, wanting to avoid confrontation with the stranger. Rose still appears worried, as does the Doctor in his own right, but nothing is voiced. He grips Rose's hand and leads her further inside to greet Martha properly. Rose smiles and shakes her hand, disguising the concern that she's been replaced.

"A year exactly ma'am," he answers Martha's question late. "Rose and I traveled together until she got sucked into a parallel universe to save the world… stupid ape," he taunts adoringly.

"Oh shut it," she chuckles. "You would've done the same, in fact you have!" She pokes fun right back and they still seem to not care that Martha is standing two feet in front of them. "Several times actually."

"Ah yes, but I always came back to you didn't I?"

"Well I suppose, when you don't go changing your face," she teases. "We just can't seem to stay away."

"Happens when you're in love," Martha comments dryly and both time travelers seemed aghast. "What?"

"How did you get back by the way?" he finally wonders, squeezing her hand to remind them that they're both flesh and blood. "I watched the last gateway seal myself."

"Well, being the Bad Wolf and all, I trained my way out," she shrugs. He raises an eyebrow of confusion and she reaches over to grip the arm of the hand holding onto hers. "Well, remember when I took in the time vortex?"

"Yes, I had to explain it all to you because you feigned amnesia," he drones.

"Well, you didn't get all of it. Part of it, the part that was meant to be there, latched onto my DNA. Torchwood was doing scans for personal employee logs and discovered an unexplainable irregularity in my patterns and natural responses… I'm not human anymore, not by textbook terms and well… I kinda of used it to my advantage last night."

"Last night? But you're here now?"

"I don't know how it works honestly. All I know is last night I sat down on my bed and wished with all my heart to be here with you, where I belong… I thought about the things I'd seen with the vortex and I imagined the Tardis flying through space…. When I opened my eyes I was here on a strange planet just outside the Tardis doors. I thought I was dreaming, I've dreamt it so many times that you came back for me and I was afraid you'd leave again before I could get to you… Then I remembered I have a key and used it to get in, just hoping you wouldn't take off before I was through…." His faces falls into grief and guilt as he removes his hand from her clasp and wraps it around her shoulders. The tears started back when she spoke of her dreams and they continued to flow even now. She curls up into his chest for the first time in years when abruptly she crashes and her weight goes out from under her. Martha swoops to help her at the same time he drops to cushion her fall. Together they manuever her lifeless body into his arms bridal style and head for the medical room.

"What happened to her??" Martha's decided she likes this girl who makes the Doctor so happy, who seems to live off his very essence. She also knows watching that girl die right now could shatter what's left of the doctor's humanity.

"The time vortex. It's eating at her cells again, chewing away at anything used to keep her alive."

"But she said she was meant to have it Doctor, at least what she has left. I don't think she's dying! She looks asleep!" Martha protests. He lays Rose on the table and then stares blankly at the wall in consideration.

"Martha, have I ever told you how smart you are?" he smiles at last. "She's not dying! She's exhausted! Using all that energy, it's like running a marathon for her and with the delay it took for her to get from one universe to the other… think of it! Running a marathon for twelve hours straight and then breaking down emotionally with more than you could handle on your best day???" Martha smiles. He's so happy just to have Martha there then, just to have heard her say what was so plain in evidence. He would've worried himself sick over Rose, spent countless nights just watching her sleep because he may never get the chance to see it again, but now. Martha's opened up a window that he should've been able to look through years back! How was he so blinded?? Oh right, he remembers, because it was Rose and he feared the worst.

"So what then, she needs a good night's sleep?" Martha queries, looking over the sleeping girl. Rose seems contented enough, even the sad twist in her expression is gone.

"Nope," he chimes and Martha glances at him confused. "She's already unconscious, her body's way of demanding what it needs to survive. That's why she passed out once she got through the doors, it took what it wanted," he sighs and leans over her still figure. "She heard my voice in her head though, heard me calling out for her. So she woke up again and was forced to collapse in my arms when her strength gave way. She put off her own needs just long enough reunite with me, to assure that we were both real, because she couldn't have waited until she found her bed. I'm glad she did it though, I'd probably be going crazy if she hadn't," he scoffs softly, noting Rose's even breathing with great fascination.

"Alright then, so now she can wake up in the morning and know that all this was real, that you're really here and so is she? And that won't change just because she sleeps?" he nods "GREAT!" she cheers, getting excited in front of him for the first time in months. He beams at his friend cheekily and agrees:

"Absolutely great!" 


End file.
